Author: Widow Badass

Gutted by Grief

On By Widow BadassIn Badassery, Hmmm?34 Comments

Dear Blog,

By now you are no doubt wondering where I have suddenly gone. I’ve broken my promise to you to write weekly for this year and you are wondering what the hell happened when I have been going so strong, so far. Wonder no more, dear Bloggie. I have been gutted by grief.

Oh, I know what you are thinking. I should be an old hand at this grief thing by now. After all, I’ve lost so many loved ones over the past 5 years that I note and celebrate a year without a funeral in my annual Christmas letter. Seriously.

I knew that my adult daughter, Mizz J, leaving me to start a new life in British Columbia was going to be tough. After all, she has never lived more than a 15 minute car ride away from me for her entire life.  And she spent the last 2 years living with me, again. But I had no idea just how bad it was going to be.

It started with my daughter and her man (who I also love and miss) pulling out of my driveway, for the last time (for the foreseeable future) about a week ago. We’d had a tearful parting, natch, although I was happy to see them start off on this adventure together, and they were happy to be going.

As the vehicle pulled away, I felt…I don’t know how to explain it really…just wrong in my body. I didn’t know what was happening to me physically other than I hated the feeling. Everything was wrong, in my body and my mind. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was distraught and absolutely at loose ends. It was horrible.

Was I dying? Is this what it feels like? I finally decided I wasn’t dying, so now what do I do?

I reached out on Facebook to people for suggestions on how to cope, and I got plenty of good ideas but truly, I was too upset and distracted to employ any of them at the time.

So, practical me, I cleaned instead. And organized. And wept. And thus worked myself into an exhaustion that left no more room for feeling.

So ended the first day.

It got slowly better after that, dear Blog. I went to work. I went to the 3rd of 3 music festivals I committed to this month. I cleaned more. I organized more. I exercised. I meditated. I journalled about being grateful to have deep, reciprocated feelings for family. I worked my plan for this time that I knew was coming.

I am plagued by high levels of fatigue and body aches, yet. I am forgetful and get distracted easily. Remember that advertisement for pain medication that proclaimed “Because depression hurts”? Well, grief hurts too. But even with all the grief I have experienced, to date nothing has given me physical symptoms like this.

Someone suggested that this episode is so severe because it is a culmination of everything that has gone before, hence the extreme reaction. Could be some (or a lot) of truth to that. I can’t say. All I can say is that I thought I knew what grief was, but dear Blog, I really had no idea how devastating it could be – not only mentally but physically.

Someone said to me that I really wasn’t such a badass after all – that this proved I was only “human”. I agreed with them – I am definitely human.

But I still believe I am also a badass and that the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

Being a badass doesn’t mean you are tough as nails and can’t be affected by anything and never feel deep emotion.

Being a badass means life knocks you down and you keep getting back up.

Being a badass means you push through the pain.

Being a badass means you know that life is both good AND bad and that neither condition lasts forever.

So enjoy the good and gut the bad stuff out, dear Bloggie, even when it’s gutting you.

I’ll be visiting you again soon. I promise.

Rock on,

The WB

The August Plan

On By Widow BadassIn Good Times, Hmmm?, Music41 Comments

August is a great month. Fresh corn, peaches, and tomatoes are all available. I have music festivals lined up for each of the first 3 weeks. I’m seeing The Rocky Horror Show in Stratford during the last week of August. It’s my son’s birthday next weekend and I’m throwing him a birthday dinner to celebrate.

What is not to love?

Well, my daughter, who has been living with me for the past 2 years while pursuing her MSW, and her boyfriend, who has been living with us for the past 6 months, are pulling out of Ontario mid-month to start a new life out on the west coast, in British Columbia.

I’m very happy for them. This is the right move for them, for many reasons. And I’m a wee bit envious of their grand adventure. But I’m also going to miss them like crazy.

My place is going to feel very empty for a while. I am going to have to deal with coming home every day to an empty house, again.

Don’t get me wrong – I love living alone.

I want to live alone.

I deserve to live alone.

But every time I have people stay for a length of time, when they leave I have to get used to living alone all over again. And having a child not only leave but move 3-fucking-thousand miles away is going to multiply my alone-feeling exponentially.

I don’t want this to happen:

Hehehehe…the opening of this movie continues to crack me up every time I watch it.

But seriously, I don’t want this to be me.

So I am drafting a bit of a plan, to adjust to being alone again.

Instead of eating or drinking my feelings (a real fear, people), I plan to exercise them. Instead of moping around the house, I plan to clean and organize it. Instead of being my introverted, antisocial self, I might actually call a friend and make a plan to go out.

OK, maybe that last one is a bit of a stretch. 😉

I feel good that I’m anticipating my sadness and have a plan to deal with it.

Today’s post was supposed to be about what a great time I had last Friday at the spa with fellow bloggers Karen and Joanne, and then the continued birthday celebrations at home Saturday, and then meeting lovely Karen The Unassuming Hiker (another blogger I admire) and her equally lovely husband for lunch on Sunday, and how bagged I am from all the socializing and then having to do the job of 2 people at work all week, and my need to recover from all of the above. Whew.

But instead this is what I really need to write about.

Rock on,

The WB

 

Ranty July – A Changing Seasons Post #monthlyphotochallenge #thechangingseasons

On By Widow BadassIn Adventures in Food, Good Times, Hmmm?, See the Beauty, The Great Outdoors38 Comments

July started off with a bang. Canada Day (July 1) is also my daughter’s (Mizz J) birthday. I made a fabulous trifle, using local berries and sherry, and of course plenty of local, growth-hormone free, high quality dairy.

Uh-oh, here comes a rant:

Fuck you Trump. I support Canadian Dairy and Canadian Dairy supports me, literally. It’s my day job, to work for a company that supports this industry, which I love. So yeah, fuck you, Trump. As a dairy insider, I can tell you your milk is not up to Canadian quality standards. Most of it would not be allowed in this country even if the borders were wide open. And you can thank the Canadian supply management system for making sure Canadians get the highest quality milk for their money. Rant over. (Aren’t you relieved?)

Canada Day dessert
Strawberry Trifle. It was delicious. Note to self: next time don’t be afraid to add more sherry. Yes, that’s real whipped cream on top, people. Thank goddess for my Kitchen Aid mixer. The berries are spectacular this year.

I got out for a Beach Day this month. To my usual haunt: Bayfield.

Stairs to Lake Huron shore
I usually park at the Marina but this year I went to Pioneer Park instead and took the stairs down to the Lake Huron shore.

There was plenty of beauty to see at home, as well.

Mill Pond and day lilies in July
Day Lilies in bloom down at the Mill Pond.
Heron as seen from kayak
I usually can’t get even this close to these wary birds. But this one was intent on fishing so wasn’t focusing on me in the kayak so much.
Another heron fishing.
Could be the same heron. Dunno. There are quite a few of them on the Mill Pond.
Swans on the Mill Pond
There are a few swans as well, peacefully cohabiting with the herons, ducks, geese, and egrets on the Mill Pond.
Sunset clouds reflected on the water
I love capturing the reflections on the Mill Pond throughout the day, and especially the approaching evening.
Sunset reflected on the water
The end of another beautiful July day on the Mill Pond. Taken from the village dock. Which shall forever more be known as The Sex Dock. I was trying to show it off to a visitor and we happened upon a couple banging away under a blanket…ON THE DOCK…IN EARLY EVENING AKA BROAD DAYLIGHT. Needless to say, we turned around immediately and left visiting the dock for another day. #VillageLife
Black caps and raspberries for breakfast
A lovely weekend breakfast including the bountiful berries of July. The berries are spectacular this year, did I mention that? Banana oatmeal pancakes, Greek Yogurt, black caps, raspberries, maple syrup and back bacon. Nespresso latte macchiato – forget which flavour but probably Roma.

And finally, I haven’t mentioned this on the blog yet I don’t think, but I did purchase a new car. On May 25th I picked up a new plug-in hybrid vehicle, a Prius Prime. Forever to be known as Edward the Third, for being my third white Prius that sparkles in the sunlight. I got a full tank of gas with the car. Today, July 25th, I decided it was time to put more gas in since I am anticipating some long drives coming up over the next few days. I still had a little less than a quarter of the original tank left. Behold my dashboard, prior to today’s fill-up:

gas mileage of Prius Prime after 2 months driving
That’s right – 3043 km driven and I still have a bit of gas left. Today was my first ever fill-up of the car I picked up on May 25!

I’m very pleased with my new car. The range of electric driving for me is around 56 km. I was told the car had a range of 40 km, however the car learns how you drive trains you how to drive more efficiently and rewards you with more range. It takes into account the amount of energy you save with regenerative braking and also coasting and using the engine brake to slow down. So I’ve “earned” a range of 56 km by giving up my lead foot. 😉

Which means during  the week I drive solely on electric power on any given day. I only seem to dip into gas power on weekends, when I take longer drives for Beach Days and such.

Uh-oh, I’m feeling ranty again…

I was planning on trading in Edward II later on this year, but decided to take advantage of the government incentive to buy a plug-in hybrid. And I’m glad I did when I did because the provincial government has changed hands and now this rebate has been terminated.

Ironically, the party now in power campaigned that they are for the little guy, yet they take away a rebate that could actually benefit the common person. They’ve told their base that electric cars are only for the elite and cost $$$$. Which is blatantly untrue. Clearly they are taking a page from the Trump playbook and the sheeple believe their gaslighting, as I’ve seen on Twitter.

Follow the money, people. Follow the money, to learn the truth.

It’s been 2 months of daily driving and all I’ve spent on gas is $32. Only just today. Just sayin’…

Fuck you too, Ford. Rant over, and out.

(OMG, do I ever need that Spa Day.)

The Changing Seasons is a monthly photo challenge hosted by Su Leslie of Zimmerbitch.

Rock on,

The WB

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My Life’s Third Act

On By Widow BadassIn Artistic Endeavours, Badassery, Hmmm?43 Comments

A week from now I’ll be celebrating my 59th birthday. I plan on spending the actual day of at a luxurious spa with some fellow bloggers – 2 kindred spirits I have come to know and befriend. I can’t think of a better way to kick off another year.

A week from now I will be only 1 year away from officially starting my “third act”.

59 – that is also the official start of my 60th year of life. If I die after next week, the obit will read “…in her 60th year…”.

I’m doing a lot of reflecting lately – even more so than usual – and this is a short list of events that helped shape me during this last, past decade.

In my 50s, I (not always in chronological order):

  • Became engaged (on my 49th birthday, so technically right at the start of my 50th year of life)
  • Started blogging again, for realz this time (on September 3rd, 2009. The Blogger blog was called The Next Year of My Life. I wanted to capture all of my thoughts and plans leading up to my 2nd marriage)
  • Got married again, at age 51, on September 3rd, 2010
  • Became a widow, 3 years later, on November 14, 2013
  • Found out in January 2014 that my late husband had cheated on me with another woman (for 18 months!) while we were living together
  • Ran 4 more half-marathons (1st one was when I was 48)
  • Went to the Netherlands 3 times
  • Went to Barbados 3 times
  • Had 2 mini-strokes and was diagnosed with high blood pressure
  • Had laser eye surgery
  • Straightened my teeth with Invisalign
  • Lost my mother, my father-in-law, and my dog (all in the same year)
  • Sold my house and moved into my late husband’s building
  • Spent a year cleaning up the mess left behind by my late husband’s hoarding
  • Completely repaired/renovated the building’s exterior doors, lights, roofs, plumbing, electrical, heating and cooling
  • Completely renovated my new living space – new kitchen and bathrooms, floors, electrical, laundry, etc.
  • Became a commercial landlord, to a museum!
  • Completed a Master of Business Administration degree
  • Was diagnosed with underactive thyroid (as if all of the above wasn’t enough to explain my tiredness 😉 )
  • Became the Widow Badass

Wow. That sounds like a lot as I read it. But is it really? I wonder if we look back on any given decade, if we don’t find that an awful lot of life has happened to us, while we were busy making other plans (thanks, John Lennon).

What all will happen during my next decade? Will I get a next decade? What will be a result of my intentions, and what will be my reactions to things that happen to me that are out of my control? Hmmmm.

Finished piece celebrating precious life
Precious Life. Finished! Each dot represents a month of life. The total number of dots represent the months of a 90 year life span. The dots highlighted with pearlescent paint are the ones I have experienced so far in my journey. The deepest, richest dots are yet to come, my painting predicts. Buddha of the Polebeans graciously offers to hold up my piece.

As per my painting, I am getting close to entering the final third of my life. So naturally I’ve been thinking a lot about life’s third act – MY life’s third act and how I want it to look. I intend the spend the next year working on some ideas for the final third, if I’m lucky enough to be here for it.

Jane has given me a lot to think about. I hope you take the time to watch the video below, and that you enjoy it.

What are some of your plans for your third act?

Do tell and rock on,

The WB

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Musings of an Old Rock Chick: The Foo Fighters Show

On By Widow BadassIn Artistic Endeavours, Good Times, Music31 Comments

I go to a fair number of live rock shows and festivals, even at this age (almost 59). #stillnottheoldestpersonhere.

At least I try to get out there, because I love the energy of a live performance. And I love the energy of the crowd. And I enjoy most of them.

But every once in a while along comes an event that just blows all the others out of the water. A perfect concert for the ages.

One that exhilarates and drains you at the same time.

One where the crowd (whatever size) and the band come together as one in such a feeling of intimacy and joy and love of the music.

One that you still remember and think about months and years later.

I can only count a handful of them out of all the shows/artists I have been privileged to see. Those that come to mind that I have seen in the past decade are: Leonard Cohen, Paul McCartney, Arcade Fire, and now the Foo Fighters/The Struts/The Beaches Show on Thursday night.

Foo Fighters Toronto Concert
Rock and Grohl. Dave Grohl and band bring the love of rock to 50,000 souls at the Rogers Centre Thursday night.

It’s been 2 days since Mizz J and I attended the Toronto Foo Fighters show and I am still bagged. It didn’t help that I hadn’t slept since 2 am the morning of, and didn’t get home till 2 am the next morning – meaning a full 24 hours without sleep. And that I had to go into work the next morning despite having booked the day off, because I knew my staff needed help to get through an unexpected workload.

I purchased these tickets last October (!!!) so even though work was already crazy on Thursday morning, I WAS GOING. Even though there was increased security/police presence around the venue due to an unnamed threat to public safety, I WAS GOING.

Toronto Police Tweet
What the hell?

No one….no crazy incel or terrorist or looney with a beef was going to stop me from getting to this show. Fuck all of you creeps, I AM GOING. (And I DID. AND IT WAS FINE. THANK YOU INCREASED POLICE PRESENCE.)

For months I had been watching the @foofighters twitter feed, and seeing individual posters for and before each show being tweeted. I wasn’t sure if this was fan art or actual legit concert posters, but I was hoping…oh, how I was hoping…that there would be something for sale at the Toronto show, and that it would be wonderful.

And it was. Like it was made specifically for me.

Foo Fighters Toronto Show poster
One of two versions of the Toronto Show poster. Already framed and hanging on the wall. If you come to my house, it will be the first thing you see when you exit the bathroom. Yer welcome!

I know all most some of you are thinking: Eeewwww. How creepy!

But for me, this is the perfect rock poster, for where I am in my journey. I see in it the Triple Goddess and the Queen of Wands (rock and roll version)…and it looks like the artist was stylistically channeling an absinthe-drinking Alphonse Mucha – on a bender. In other words, plenty of the symbolism and artistic inspiration that I am already attracted to, for this badass widow and wanna-be artist. Plus skeletons don’t bother me at all. I think they are beautiful. I am not afraid of death because it is part of life, and I love life. I believe you can’t fully live if you are afraid to die.

This was the other version of the Toronto show poster, for sale:

Foo Fighter Constellation Poster
Foo Fighter alternative Toronto Show poster – Meh. Although, it IS cool Dave is wearing a Rush image on his shirt. He did mention Rush during the show and thanked Canada/Toronto for giving the world Rush. And Taylor (drummer) wore the same image on the back of his tank that night. Très cool homage to another great band.

I’m so happy thrilled I experienced this show, and got the poster, and a couple of t-shirts too.

I wonder how many more extraordinary concert moments are still in the cards for me. For sure, I will be taking advantage of any that I can, even if I have to go solo.

What about you? What would you not miss for the world, even if meant you had to go alone?

Rock on,

The WB

 

 

 

June Wrap Up #ChangingSeasons

On By Widow BadassIn Artistic Endeavours, Gardening, Good Times, See the Beauty, The Great Outdoors43 Comments

Today is stinking hot but at least it’s not raining. Most of June consisted of rainy weekends, like this one:

Buddha of the Polebeans
Polebean Buddha stoically endures all the weathers.

Rainy weekends are good for the gardens but piss off those of us still working Monday-Friday.

Polebeans
2018 Polebean crop finally takes off.

After a slow start (completely the fault of the gardener), the 2018 Badass Rooftop Garden polebean crop is finally making progress.

flowering polebeans
Flowering! Can taste the beans already. Mmmmm.

Earlier in the month, I took part in the annual 4 Day-Evening walk at the Dundas Valley Conservation Area. This was held during the week, so no rain, natch. I also wrote about it here.

4DEW blowing the horn
Blowing the horn to signal the start of the walk each of the 4 evenings.

This is an event brought over from the Netherlands, by Dutch-Canadians, and a whole lot of fun.

Bruce Trail blaze
The Bruce Trail runs through the conservation area.
Doe in forest glade
A doe, just off the trail.

When the rain stopped on the weekends (usually late in the day), I was able to walk around my own stomping grounds as well.

Steeples reflected in the pond
Post-rain view across the Mill Pond
Duck family swimming
Duck family enjoying the Mill Pond
lush forest growth
All the rain made the growth on the trail extra-lush.
slug
And it brought out this little slug. I usually don’t see these on the trail.
Michigan Lily
First time noticing a Michigan Lily on the trail.
Below the dam
Below the dam. The sun did eventually come out during my weekend walks, but usually quite late in the evening.

On the concert front, I was treated to Mother Mother and Little Destroyer on June 25th, as a Mother’s Day present from Mizz J.

Lead singer of Little Destroyer
Little Destroyer. Yes, those are eyes on her bra top. Hey, my eyes are up….uh…never mind. I enjoyed this band.
Mother Mother
3rd time seeing Mother Mother. Will try to see them every time they are in the area. So much talent.

One benefit of all the rain: I was indoors more than usual and was able to work on a painting (not finished as yet).

painting in progress
No title yet. Inspired by the number of months in a 90 year life span.I dotted all the months I have been alive (so far) with pearlescent white paint.

Another benefit of all this rain, I think: has anybody else noticed the Ontario strawberries are exceptional this year?

strawberries in basket
And also very photogenic!

Have a wonderful July and a wonderful Canada Day tomorrow (and a fabulous 4th of July to my US neighbours!).

The Changing Seasons is a monthly photo challenge hosted by Su Leslie, of Zimmerbitch.

Rock on,

The WB

 

 

 

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2018 Intentions – Summer Solstice Update

On By Widow BadassIn Artistic Endeavours, Blogging, Goals & Dreams, Health Transformation, Mindfulness32 Comments
Celebrating the solstice with a new candle. The scent is appropriate for the first day of summer!

More and more lately I find I am aligning myself towards the natural world, and the changing seasons. I take great pleasure in and greet with wonder this marvelous planet I reside on, daily. And at regularly occurring natural events like solstices and equinoxes, I like to pause for a moment and take stock of where I am with respect to what I am trying to achieve for myself – my intentions.

It just feels right to me to do things this way, rather than according to a date on a typical paper or digital calendar. This centres me and reminds me of what is truly real, and what are only human constructs.

The world continues to turn; the planet makes regular revolutions around the sun – where am I with my turning in my journey around my life?

I first wrote about my goals for 2018 here, at Yuletide. I updated my progress at the Spring Equinox here.

And here is my assessment of where I am at now, and what has changed in the past 3 months.

Blogging – still managing to blog at least once per week. Hoorah for me! It has been a bit of a struggle, and more so now that the weather is finally hospitable and I am trying to be outdoors as much as possible. There was a good reason my blog went silent almost every summer and fall in years past. I have not yet perfected the art of outdoor blogging (although I managed pretty well in Barbados, I must admit).

Reading – as predicted, I blew past my GoodReads goal of 50 books this year easily a few weeks ago. GoodReads tells me I am 36 books ahead of schedule at 59/50 books read. Next year, I have to at least double this way-too modest goal. Clearly.

Mindfulness – I have been doing a lot of what I call micro-meditations. That is, multiple daily pausings to draw my attention to the present moment and savour it.  But not so much butt on the zafu as I was hoping. Still, I am pleased that I am practicing mindfulness on a daily basis.

Financial Security – oooh, doggie! There has been a lot of change in this area. In April, I made a life-changing decision that I can’t really talk about on ye old blogge yet, but it is one that is good for me and I am very happy about it. All will be revealed eventually but unfortunately not any time soon. This has necessitated a change in my financial goals for this year. I have stopped paying down extra on my rental business demand loan for the time being. I am finally heeding my accountant’s advice to not be in such a hurry to pay this down as this debt is very good for my tax situation, and my 2017 tax refund proved him right once again. So I am focusing on optimizing my future monthly cash flow by working on my line of credit instead. I used this credit line for last summer’s renovation – and I locked it in at a much lower interest rate so it was not a priority for paying off ahead of schedule. But not anymore ‘cos Mama’s got a brand new plan.

Intuitive Processes – I am getting better at listening to that still, small voice. My heart voice. The one I usually ignore in favour of my head voice. Using the Tarot is helping. A lot.

The question was money-related, about the future. The cards tell me to size up the situation, get to the point and be completely honest; that I will be able to make my dreams real; and that I am resisting change that is truly needed. Yup, I was.

Health – I have stopped trying to diet, and more importantly, fretting about the need to diet. I eat what I please, when I’m hungry. And guess what, my weight is still about the same – I might even be down a pound or two. But now I truly enjoy my food and I have more time and mental energy to think about fun stuff instead of feeling bad over what I am shoving down my pie hole (or not). So, hoorah for intuitive eating! Although I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I am tempted to go back to restrictive eating whenever I read a “success story”. Then I remember that those successes are just snapshots in time, and a year from now that person will likely have put all the weight back on (and more). I’ve seen it happen to people I know over and over again. Hell, I’m one of them!

I’ve also been very consistent on making sure I move my body – achieving over 10,000 steps almost every day for the past 2 months. My energy levels are nice and high, as a result. And my stamina has improved as well. I keep meaning to add a regular weight lifting routine to my week but haven’t yet made a habit of this. So that is an area that needs my attention during this next quarter.

Speaking of enjoying my food: getting ready to munch on a lovely “zakje patat” (sack of fries) with mayonnaise (Dutch street food) for din-dins after earning another medal for walking 5 km per night for 4 nights at the 4-Day/Evening Walk event, in Dundas. (I couldn’t finish it and chucked the bottom quarter in the waste receptacle. I was out of mayo by that point anyway  😉 .)
7 years of completing this annual event. Unfortunately this was the last year this event will be held.

Art – I’ve been roughing out a bunch of ideas in my notebook but not doing a lot on canvas. This weekend is supposed to be kinda rainy so I’m planning on painting. I got my weekly blog post done early so as to free up time for this. Wish me luck!

What about you? How are you doing with respect to your intentions (if you made any) for 2018, at this half-way point in the year?

Rock on,

The WB

Precious Life

On By Widow BadassIn Good Times, Hmmm?, See the Beauty, The Great Outdoors22 Comments

Happy Father’s Day, everyone!

Today is super hot. Since I was sick earlier this spring (here and here), I haven’t been able to get out on the kayak so I just had to get on the river today. Had to.

Today’s weather

I opened my eyes, rolled out of bed, filled a Contigo cup with Earl Grey, got dressed and was pulling Smokey Robinson out of the shed in about 15 minutes flat. On the river by 7 am. While it was still relatively cool out.

Tiny island on the Mill Pond. Love the early morning stillness on the river.

I got as far as here, going against the current (slight, but still there):

Black Bridge Road. About 2 km from where I began.

Then I turned around and kicked off my sandals and relaxed, to sip my tea and let the current slowly, peacefully, take me back home.

This is the best way to spend a Sunday morning, without leaving town, that I know of.

I made a short video of my drift, so you could hear the riot of birdsong that was the soundtrack to my morning. But WordPress says it is too big of a media file to upload, so please check out my Facebook or Instagram (right hand side of ye olde blogge) if you want to view it. And turn the sound up please!

While I drifted, I kept thinking about a website I was directed to, in one of Alastair Humphrey‘s newsletters. I highly recommend you subscribe. His newsletters are full of interesting tidbits and links related to adventuring. After all, this life is our biggest adventure, isn’t it? And I am a huge fan of his coining of the term “micro-adventures”. I try to have micro-adventures whenever I can, for now…mega-adventures to come once I have more free time!

In one of his recent newsletters, Alastair shared this link – Your Life in Weeks – which he calls a terrifying firework up the bum to get on in life. So of course I had to click on it. Go ahead and check it out, I’ll wait.

It can be sobering to count out the weeks or months to a 90 year life span. And more sobering to realize that there is no guarantee one will even make it to then. But, I also think it is a great and necessary reminder that life is quite finite, and every week or month (or day or hour for that matter) that passes brings us closer to the end. It helps to remember this for better decision-making, I firmly believe.

And far from feeling morbid, it makes me feel so damn grateful instead – to be able to savour these happy moments like this morning on the river. I doubt I’ll be hauling a kayak down to the river when I’m 90. More likely my kids will be saying something like “Mom would have been 90 this year.” (I know my genetics ain’t the greatest…just sayin’).

I am so inspired by this graphic of a lifespan in weeks, I am going to translate this idea into a painting. But I will go by months (moons) instead. Something to hang up to remind me not to waste time or my precious life.

Do you find it comforting or terrifying to look at your life in this way?

Rock on,

The WB

 

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I might be a little bit Genghis Khan (and Assorted Ramblings on The Week That Was)

On By Widow BadassIn Good Times, Hmmm?, Music31 Comments

Oh dear. What a week.

Here in Ontario we have elected our own mini-Trump as the head of our provincial government,  in the form of Doug Ford. Remember Rob Ford – the late, infamous crack-smoking mayor of Toronto? Beloved of late-night talk show hosts? If you don’t, feel free to Google him.

And yes, this is his brother, who is going to get rid of sex education but give us cheap beer. (What could possibly go wrong?) On the bright side, this week the Canadian Senate voted to legalize recreational use of marijuana.

Who’s with me on spending the next 4 years high and drunk on Ford’s Buck-a-Beer?

Just kidding. I only drink craft or imported beers.  😉

On the bright side, I enjoyed a riveting talk yesterday, put on by the Fashion History Museum, on providing clothing for the film industry. Ian Drummond regaled us for over an hour with his tales of working on film sets such as Chicago, Hairspray, Dark Shadows and the Rocky Horror Picture Show TV reboot. He brought along a couple of outfits worn by actors, that now belong in his “hall of fame”. I asked for permission to take and post these photos:

Top half of pantsuit, worn by Michelle Pfeiffer in Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows
Sweater worn by Tim Curry (!!!!) in TV reboot of Rocky Horror – adorned by film set IDs Ian has collected over the years

Also on the bright side, I am going to see The Rocky Horror Show in Stratford later on this summer. So excited! I may or may not dress up. I have a concept for an outfit gelling in my brain which I can pull together practically entirely from items in my closet. Which tells you something about my closet. Which might scare you, actually.  🙂  However it will be age- and body-type appropriate, I can assure you!

 

And finally:

Way back in April, when I was slogging through the A-Z Challenge as well as a heavy month at work, I received my DNA results from MyHeritage. My intrepid genealogist friend recommended I take another DNA test from this company, as it apparently has more European customers and information.

Here are the results:

And here’s a link to my previous results, from Ancestry: Here

I find both the similarities and the differences between the two sets of DNA analysis very interesting. The mystery Jewish grandfather is still very much in evidence! And unfortunately, I am still no closer to finding out who he is was. (I have to keep reminding myself that he is almost certainly no longer with us by this time, unless he is still kicking at ~100 years old.)

I was really intrigued to see the Central Asian component pop up. It makes me wonder: could I have some of Genghis Khan’s blood in me? Apparently the man really got around.

And it gives me an excuse to provide a link to this song and video – both of which I absolutely love. Indulge me please:

And how was your week? Do tell.

Rock on,

The WB