Okay, okay…technically I don’t have a patio. I have a balcony. But I have it tricked out like the fiercest patio you can imagine…or at least it WILL BE once Jeff Bezos sends me a coupla more items. I came close last year but due to my arrival time on the island and pandemic-induced scarcities, last summer’s effort was lacking a few items that I had deemed necessary for peak enjoyment. And I know it’s only April, but we are very very close, people! Already! (If you’d like to see last year’s balcony, click here.)
I managed to get my hands on a couple of baskets of fuchsia this year…and I got some really great lights, to replace last year’s misguided valiant attempt at solar lighting for my north-facing space. So excited for my new patio lanterns!
I feel ya, Bruce.
I’m still waiting on a privacy screen for the railing, and comfier cushions for my benches, and some plants (impatiens, maybe…) for my railing planter box and then I’ll be done…uh, I think.
Here’s Balcony 2021 so far, with improved lighting! “Those patio lanterns, they were the stars in the sky….”
By the time I got to Vancouver Island and was settled enough to go plant shopping (early June of last year), all the hanging baskets of this shade-loving plant were completely GONZO. I was SOL, for 2020. So I leapt at the chance to pick up these beauties at Ye Olde Superstore this week.
There’s a problem though, with these baskets. Can you see it?
It only took me a day to realize that when it came to watering these babies (I have 2 of them), I would also be watering my bench cushions. EVERY. DAMN. TIME. What to do, what to do? Surely there was a ready made solution out there? Yes gentle readers, there was. In glorious see-through plastic, and in Jeff Bezo’s garage…otherwise known as Amazon. Hmmmm. I thought I might be able to MacGyver something mahself instead. So that is just what I did.
Is it still technically MacGyver-ing if you picked up some shit stuff at Ye Olde Dollarama? Asking for a friend. Astute, long-time readers will notice that I remembered to pack my dick pillows, when I moved to Vancouver Island. Once seen, never to be unseen…Not too shabby, eh? Cheaper AND prettier!Actually it only took the galvanized tins and the large S hooks to create these drip catchers, so I have the other shit stuff handy for any future MacGyver-ing I might be inspired to do.
By now – if you are still reading – you are probably wondering what all this has to do with a tea party so I’ll get to the point. THIS. It’s this:
My first cuppa of 2021 on the patio balcony! Accompanied by a warm banana oatmeal muffin.
I decided that overripe bananas were taking over my limited freezer space so that means only 1 thing around Chez Badass: time to dig out my tattered copy of Muffin Mania and make me some muffins! I used this recipe:
GOOD? Wow. I really waxed rhapsodic over this one, didn’t I? After almost 40 years, this recipe still is GOOD. Oh, and I used butter instead of margarine. And gluten-free flour instead of wheat flour. And quick oats instead of rolled oats. And I forgot to add the baking soda. AND. THEY. WERE. STILL. GOOD.It was only when I started filling the muffin cups that I vaguely remembered that this particular recipe makes way more than a dozen muffins. Eighteen, in fact. You’d think I could have written that down at some point, next to “good”.The final half-dozen, fresh out of the oven.
The thing is, banana is not my favourite flavour in baked goods. But somehow this recipe works for me. I think the oatmeal tones down balances the banana flavour a bit. And using gluten-free flour gave these muffins a delicious cake-like texture that I don’t remember from when I made them with regular flour.
So if you came to my house in April we’d be sitting out on my balcony under the new patio lanterns, drinking tea and eating banana oatmeal muffins. And singing this song:
Yes, I would make you sing it along with me. Start practicing, because I got my first dose of Covid-19 vaccine this week. (Whoop whoop!)
Rock on,
The WB
P.S. Thanking the lovely hostess of the Virtual Tea Party, Su…go check out her blog and see what she is serving this month!
Better late than never, they say…whoever “they are. At any rate, here I am with my offering for this month’s Virtual Tea Party, held by our ever gracious hosts Su and Del (go check out their blogs, please!) A day (or two) late, and a dollar short, through no fault of my own! This week marked the end (at least I hope so) of a long story for me involving esophageal spasms, acid reflux, gastritis, the reveal of a hiatal hernia, and not one but two gastroscopies. Let’s blame it all on the hospital-administered sedation! Anyhoodle, here I am: hale and hearty (and sober) again and wanting to share with you a delicious, substantial blueberry lemon oatmeal muffin cup recipe, from the Clean and Delicious blog site.
This recipe rings all the bells for me. Easy to whip up, contains my favourite flavours, powers me through to lunch, easy to sub in other things if need be, and contains no wheat (a trigger for my acid reflux). I need a quick and easy brekkie these days as I find myself running down to the beach while it is still dark if there is even a hint of a pretty sunrise to come. And those runs sometimes pay off. Behold:
By the time the sun has fully risen and I’ve made my way back to my place, I can just about chew my arm off. My poor stomach thinks my throat has been cut. My belly button can touch my backbone. Cue all the hunger idioms you can think of….I need victuals, STAT! These muffin cups come to my rescue so I make sure to always have some in the freezer.
Fresh out of the oven. Good with Greek yogurt and raspberries.Also with cottage cheese and blueberries.Cinnamon on top is a nice addition.
These would make a fine addition to any tea table, in my decidedly-biased opinion. 😉
Do you have a go-to quick breakfast? Do tell, and…
If you came to my house in February for “tea”, I probably wouldn’t have many baked goods to share. I tend to do the majority of my baking fails around Christmas time, like so many people. However, fear not! You will be fed! I will have plenty of comfort foods to share with you, along with a lovely cuppa.
You see, it’s been that kind of vibe around here lately. The days are kinda gloomy and damp…and we finally even got a significant dump of snow recently – a first for me in my new Island home.
February had started off great, with a lovely trip to the west coast of the island, and some hometown views like this:
Sunset view from the pier at Nanaimo’s seawallHellebores blooming in Mafeo Sutton Park
And then last weekend, this happened:
February 13 view of my balcony. Pretty sure the fern will survive. They’re mighty tough.
Is it any wonder that I turned to comfort foods? First up, old-fashioned rice pudding made in my new-fashioned rice cooker. I won’t share the recipe because it came out of a fairly new cookbook (you know – copyright and all that), but there are plenty to be found online. I used arborio rice, and maple syrup instead of sugar.
Overseen by You-Know-WhoThe hardest part of this recipe is waiting for the rice to cook in the milk. Porridge setting takes a good long while. Seashell Jesus agrees. I’m singing: “An-ti-ci-pation, it’s makin’ me late, keepin’ me waitin’.” 8 minutes to go…Rice finally done, and ready to stir in tempered maple syrup and beaten egg, to finish off the pudding. Everybody say “Love!” There’s a big ole bowl of Valentines comfort, right there.
Next up in the comfort food February hit parade, let me present a viral recipe my daughter was raving about: Baked Feta Pasta.
Super simple recipe with easy-to-source ingredientsHot out of the ovenSmoosh it all together, and get ready to add cooked pasta, garlic – and in my case, due to lack of fresh basil – pesto!David: What does that mean? Moira: You smoosh it all together, just like the Widow Badass said. David: But I don’t know what to do. Moira: David, I cannot show you everything. (Apologies to Schitt’s Creek 😉 )Cooked pasta (gluten free) smooshed in and looking good!And tasting better. Take that, wintry weather! Holly bush at the side of my balcony is looking even more spectacular than usual, thanks to the snow. The best part – lots of leftovers! I added a couple of sliced cooked chicken breasts to the bowl later, along with more pesto. Yum yum. I expect more modifications as I play with this recipe.
And last but not least, in honour of Fat Tuesday: my mother’s Dutch pancakes (she only made the sweet kind). And here’s her recipe as given to me many years ago:
Mix together flour and milk, throw in an egg (or two), a pinch of salt, some sugar, and some vanilla. Add more ingredients until the correct consistency is achieved. You’ll know you’re done when it smells right.
Smells right?! SMELLS RIGHT!?! How am I supposed to work with this??? WHERE. ARE. THE. MEASUREMENTS. WTF.
Gentle reader, after more than a few attempts I figured it out. Here’s how I make them.
Start out with 1 cup of milk and beat an egg into it. Add a pinch of salt, and a tablespoon of sugar (optional for sweet pancakes…not critical or necessary). Add 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla (only for sweet pancakes), to start. Whisk in 1 cup of flour. I usually start adding more milk at this point because I like to be able to create thinner pancakes. On this particular day 1/4 cup more milk was needed to achieve the batter consistency I wanted.
Then I smell the batter.
Needs more vanilla, which I added. Thanks, Mom!
This recipe can be easily doubled, tripled…whatever your pancake lovin’ dreams call for. The pan temperature and preheating is critical. Find the setting that works and commit it to memory. I prefer making my pancakes in butter but have used oil in the past and it works too. Don’t rush your first pancake as the pan will probably not be hot enough. You want the temperature to be hot enough to create the golden lacy effect, which will never happen if the pan is too cold.
Unfortunately you have to figure this out as everyone’s cooktop is different.
Fortunately you can eat your mistake(s) as you wait for the pan to come to the correct temperature. 🙂 I prefer to call it my…ahem…”trial” pancake, when it happens more often than not.
Leftovers (if any) can be stored covered, at room temperature for ease in grab n’ go snack-ability.
Pannekoeken (Dutch pancakes) can be made sweet (plain or with apples or raisins cooked right in) or savoury (with added bacon, ham, cheese etc.) They are not eaten for breakfast usually, but are a meal in themselves. Mom used to make them to stretch out a meal of leftovers. And she would make so many, there WERE pancake leftovers (unbelievable as it sounds) that disappeared the next day as breakfast or “snacks”: delicious rolled up and eaten out-of-hand, plain and at room temperature…yum!
Pancake factory, in action. Mom used to have 2 cast-iron skillets going at once. Now that’s talent! (And an arm workout.)To get nice thin pancakes, it’s all in the wrist action.I’m going for a simple pancake meal. Dressed only in fresh raspberries and maple syrup. Note desired golden lacy effect.Dutch Pancake Perfection. Don’t call me a crepe!
Well, there you have it. Not exactly tea fare in the traditional sense. Unless perhaps you are using it in British sense: “tea” meaning the evening meal. Perhaps I should start my own monthly challenge…something like “What’s for Dinner?” or “What’s on Your Plate?”. Hmmmm. Would anyone be interested? (It’s quite possible that something like this already exists in the blogosphere, and I am not aware of it.) Gawd knows I need inspiration to cook myself a decent meal these days. Let me know in the Comments, below.
Thank you for reading this far (it was a looong one, sorry)…and for joining me in this month’s Virtual Tea Party – hosted by Del and Su. Click on their links to go see them and the lovely things they made!
Firstly, apologies Dear Blogge for abandoning you lately. See, I’ve kinda been hibernating a bit – going inward as it were – and then there was all that horrible business of last week happening to our neighbour to the south, and well…my muse took a much longer holiday as a result.
So, Christmas happened and please allow me an indulgence here as I post about a baking misadventure from way back then. I really did plan to post about this in a more timely fashion. However, THAT never happened. So I humbly offer this as my entry into the first virtual tea party of 2021.
Allow me another indulgence to give you some backstory. The very first trifle I ever attempted was for a Christmas staff party at my work, back in about 1983. I know – ballsy, right? I was full of youthful energy and conceit confidence then and thought: how hard can it be, really? Cake, pudding, whipped cream, fruit, booze. Throw it together in a dish. Done. I had been intrigued by a recipe in Canadian Living magazine for something called Black Forest Trifle, and decided that was what I was going to bring.
Back in those childless, early-married days, I thought nothing of spending a whole day in the kitchen whipping up any recipe that caught my fancy so the fact that these instructions had you make EVERYTHING from scratch didn’t faze me in the least.
I brought the trifle to the potluck and added it to the other offerings. I don’t remember much of that particular meal except that at the conclusion, the big boss/owner of that particular lab asked “Ummm…who brought the trifle?”
I froze. This guy…Dr. Whatsisname…was English as all get out. What was I thinking, bringing my first attempt at England’s national dessert (it is, isn’t it?) to this goddamn lunch affair?!?! Dr. Whatsisname (sorry, I really have forgotten his name) continued in his plummy accent…”I consider myself to be something of a connoisseur when it comes to trifle. Who made this one?” I gulped and hesitantly put up my hand.
“Oh?” he continued, appearing mildly surprised that “the baby” of the lab – his youngest employee – had pulled off this culinary feat.
“I have to tell you that this is the best trifle that I have ever tasted.”
WELL. I hadn’t seen THAT coming in the armageddon of embarrassment scenarios that had been flashing before my mind’s eye since he asked about the trifle. This proved the recipe was clearly a keeper and I painstakingly wrote it in my smallest handwriting onto not one but two recipe cards (I told you everything had to be made from scratch) and hung onto it for thirty-seven long years. And naturally, I never made it again (sigh).
Until this Christmas.
First up, a few days before Christmas I made the almond macaroons to crumble onto the cake and jam layers.
Uh oh. This is not going well. At least they tasted good and they were going to be crumbled up anyways. Onwards…
Then I made the chocolate sponge cake.
No way to rescue this leathery pancake of a chocolate mess. Into the composting bin it went. Hmmm. I don’t remember any of this happening the first (and only other) time I made this recipe. Idon’t usually eat candy canes, but one of my neighbours had stuck one in the mini-stocking I hung on my apartment door, and it seemed like the thing to do as I pondered my next move.Besides, it was too early for day-drinking, even for me.
It was Christmas Eve and there was no more time for fucking around experimentation. I ran to the grocery store and got the supplies I needed to pull this thing off.
After my first 2 fails, there was no way I was going to attempt the custard from scratch. Wise decision. Note offending recipe in the upper left corner. The cake turned out wonderful – hallelujah! I spread it with cherry jam and had enough for 2 dishes. One got splashed with rum; the smaller one got only cherry juice. In case (gasp!) someone didn’t want to have the boozy dessert. Like my step-grandkids.Next I added the “crumbled macaroons”. A-hem. Moving on.Cherry layer added. My custard turned out perfect. Thank you Bird’s Custard Powder, for having my back! I put the trifles onto the balcony to keep them cool until the next day, when the rest of the assembly would happen. Next day…on Christmas afternoon: Bettie Page the Kitchen Aid (she so sex-ay!) whipped the cream for me. Good job, Betts!Whipped cream, chocolate shavings and almonds added. Seashell Jesus arose from my basement storage unit to oversee the final touches and approve of the finished product. If ever a dessert needed divine intervention, this was it. His expression and body language seems to say: Really, girl? How could you have fucked up this recipe? I swear I saw him raise an eyebrow at me.
Because of the pandemic, Christmas was going to be a bit of a drive-by visit rather than an actual one. In the late afternoon, I packed up the trifles and Christmas goodies and brought them over to my daughter’s place. They had my step-grandkids with them for the holidays (from the plague-land mainland, so the decision was made that it be best we stay apart unless we could meet outdoors, for the duration of their visit). I exchanged the trifles for containers full of 3 days’ worth of Christmas dinner deliciousness, and went back to my place. The trifles were very well received. Although no “best trifle ever” accolades were forthcoming. Those are still held by the fresh berry trifles I made last summer.
Does anything taste better than a Christmas dinner you didn’t have to cook yourself? I think not.
And there went another Christmas into the history books…and one for the history books! All things Covid-19 considered, it wasn’t that awful and certainly not the first Christmas I have spent alone.
There was only one thing left to be done, though.
In case I EVER get inspired to follow this recipe again. I am at a loss as to why it didn’t work this time. From “best trifle ever” to unholy mess…Burn baby, burn! Perhaps I left out some vital instructions when transcribing it all those many years ago??? I will never ever know…
Thank you for allowing all these indulgences…and for joining me in this month’s Virtual Tea Party – hosted by Del and Su.
