September Sublime 2018 #TheChangingSeasons

On September 29, 2018 By Widow BadassIn See the Beauty, The Great Outdoors, Village Life37 Comments

September started out still blazing hot but now the weather is reasonable again, and perfect for heading to the woods.

Head to the woods I did, with a local group that took me to a brand new area, right off the trail I usually walk. I’d known of this side trail for years of course, but because it looked overgrown and in denser brush I was leery of going too far in by myself. When the group advertised a guided walk into this area I jumped at the opportunity.

Chilligo Creek View — We followed Chilligo Creek for most of the walk.

beautiful forest shot — Heading to a crossing point at the creek.

large oak tree — One of our group refers to this oak as “The Mother Tree” 🙂

Fungal growth on dead branches — The forest floor is full of fungus-y finds like this one.

Purple asters — Fall is the time when the wild asters are the most beautiful.

wildflower in the grass — Another purple fall flower. According to iNaturalist, it is a knapweed.

red leaves — Beautiful bright red foliage of the Virginia Creeper spotted in the meadow.

View of Chilligo Creek as it come out from under the highway. Taken from the side of the road, above.

seeds stuck on clothing — My pants were covered in “travellers” at the hike’s end. Another sign of the fall!

fall colours on hydrangeas — Heading back from the walk, I took a moment to appreciate the beauty of the plantings downtown. They are putting on a show as well, as we cruise into fall. Hydrangeas are changing from white to pink and bronze.

fall colours in mums — A few steps further, I took in the riot of chrysanthemums planted to celebrate fall in our downtown.

pile of seeds — Home again. Sipping wine and picking seeds outta my pants…a perfect end to a perfect walk in the woods.

Sublime. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have wild areas close at hand, with which to restore my soul.

This has been a Changing Seasons Post. The Changing Seasons is a monthly photo challenge, hosted by Su Leslie of Zimmerbitch.

Rock on,

The WB

Fountain Pen Mania, Rekindled

On September 23, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Hmmm?, See the Beauty31 Comments

What I hauled home from the Phidon Pens 10th Anniversary Sale – glass dip pen, 3 new inks, fountain pen-friendly journal (the paper really matters!), converter for my Lamy fountain pen, 2 book marks created gratis by one of the lovely calligraphy class instructors, gratis Phidon bookmark and shopping bag.

When I was a newly minted teenager, I first discovered fountain pens. My dad had given me a old-fashioned box of nibs and a couple of plastic holders that he picked up somewhere from someone, along with a bottle of ink. I loved dipping those pens into the ink bottle and pouring my profound (as profound as any 13 year old’s) thoughts into my notebook every day.

As I got older, I stopped using the pens and writing my profound thoughts down for a time. I was busy as a young wife, career woman, and mother.

Then one day I read “Writing Down the Bones” by Natalie Goldberg, and I remembered my love for writing and for fountain pens as I was reading about her use of the same. So I bought a disposable fountain pen and a cheap notebook, and began pouring out my thoughts (profound and otherwise) again. It felt good to be able to articulate what I was feeling and going through in this way. It was a release valve for me, as I struggled to find meaning and happiness in an unsuitable marriage. Until I found out a decade later that my then-husband had been sneaking into my desk drawer and reading my journal entries all these years without my permission. I felt violated and stopped writing completely. My fountain pens dried up, and I threw them away.

I didn’t keep a journal in my second marriage. I had no more trust left in me. I created and took down a couple of anonymous blogs, writing about my struggles in living with a man who refused to seek help for his OCD. I was so afraid he would find out that they never lasted long.

When JD died and I spent a year cleaning up his hoard, I came across a never-used Waterman fountain pen, still in the presentation box. I did use it a couple of times (for signing the lease with my tenants, for example) but I didn’t like the memories I had attached to it, that came up with each use. Funny how we do this to inanimate objects. Also, I don’t know the provenance of it. Was it a gift from an ex-lover? The woman he cheated on me with? I still have it, but no longer use it. It probably won’t survive the next purge I do around Chez Badass. Instead I bought a (cheap but very nice) Lamy pen off the Interwebs, that I have been using to write with.

So that brings us to the present day. Phidon Pens has been around since 2008, and I have been aware of it since it opened, as it is across the street from the year-round Farmers’ Market that I love to visit. Yet, I had never gone in. Due to a multitude of factors, including me never being in the area when it was actually open for business. And a very real fear of spending my life savings on a rekindled fountain pen mania. Hah!

Which is kinda exactly what happened. I made a special effort to attend the 10th anniversary sale (30% off EVERYTHING), and dropped a load of money on goodies. I almost bought another fountain pen – a beautiful rose gold brushed metal number that felt great in the hand. But, dear Bloggie, instead I bought a converter for the Lamy that I already owned. So now I can draw up one of the inks I bought, instead of relying solely on purchased cartridges. How mature. How fiscally responsible.

Let’s not discuss the glass dip pen (so beautiful, so much fun) though, shall we?

Rock on,

The WB

The Story of a Painting, Part Two: With Interruptions

On September 16, 2018September 16, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Artistic Endeavours, See the Beauty, The Great Outdoors21 Comments

Well, wouldn’t you know it – the weather got better, so I got outside to walk, and painting progress has slowed considerably. Also due to the other interruptions in this thing called life.

Sunset on Mill Pond — Better weather means after-work walks to enjoy the sunset on the Mill Pond!

But here is what happened to the painting since the last time I blogged.

drawing of mermaid on canvas — Drawing traced onto canvas.

Painted outline in burnt umber and erased graphite marks.

Latest progress on mermaid painting — Starting to fill in colour. Loooong way to go yet.

I’m not expecting to get much done this week. Today I am flying to the US for a work conference.

Yesterday I spent the afternoon with Joanne, at the Fashion History Museum’s Tango Tea. She’ll be writing about it soon. You should go check out her blog!

Fashion History Museum Tango Tea Event — At the Tango Tea. This event was so much fun!

Unfortunately I got some bad news while at the Tea. My late father-in-law’s girlfriend (who is 92 and much loved by me and everyone who knows her) is in hospital, suffering from a bleed into her brain with no hope of recovery. We were planning on going out for dinner when I returned from my work trip. I rushed from the Tea to the hospital and met with her family and offered what comfort I could. I also spoke with B, but she was unresponsive. They say hearing is the last sense to go, so hopefully she heard that I was there and that I love her.

And now I really have to shower and pack.

Have a great week, everyone, and rock on!

The WB

The Story of a Painting: Part One

On September 8, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Artistic Endeavours28 Comments

Since I am a beginning (again) artist and a few of my blogger friends and readers are as well, I thought it would be fun to share my process as I work on a painting I’ve had in my mind for quite a while. For me, creating art can be broken down into a series of problems to solve in order to get to the finished product (and get the painting in my mind put down on canvas).

I love tattoo art, and am especially fond of old-school tattoos. I also have always loved mermaids. So, it should be no surprise that I would want to paint a mermaid, in an old-school tattoo style.

I haven’t spent much time in the studio this summer as I’ve been enjoying the great weather, but now that’s changed and I have this mermaid painting that needs to come out of me.

I started by covering by 16×20″ canvas with primary magenta cut with a little titanium white and a touch of burnt umber. I wanted a nice warm, rich background.

Actually I started by cleaning off the mess on the table so I could place the canvas on there, but does this really need to be said? I feel this is just a given.

Then I scraped on a bunch of colours with an old credit card. I think it was unbleached titanium, yellow ochre, cadmium red, and bit of hookers green.

Nice enough, but not what I was going for, for this painting.

I decided the background needed more work, so after it was dry I went back at it with just unbleached titanium and yellow ochre. Went horizontal instead of lengthwise with the paint application this time.

After scraping the paint on with the credit card, I blended it out with my new favourite brush – the mop. I deliberately left some of the under colours showing through. Now it looks aged and a bit distressed (like the artist, hehehe!). Me like!

Now that I was happy with the background, it was time to work on the mermaid. I had printed off a drawing I found on Ye Olde Interwebs, for inspiration. I needed to make it larger, so I grabbed a piece of tracing paper and gridded it to match the simple grid I drew on the print-off.

The top of the freezer I inherited from my mom makes a great work surface – as you can see, from the paint spatters on the wall behind. 🙂

It took me almost 45 minutes to be satisfied with the mermaid, but after some erasing and redrawing, I am pretty happy with what I drew.

Her face looks more like my first Barbie doll’s than the face on the print-off, but I kinda like it. I also changed her hair for better symmetry of design, with her tail.

I’m ready to trace my design onto the canvas once it dries completely. Not sure if to do the outlining first, or paint her in first. If this was a real tattoo, I’d be outlining first, then filling in. Hmmmm….Stay tuned for Part Two. And, if you’re looking at these posts for actual artistic advice, please remember:

Rock on,

The WB

And that was August #TheChangingSeasons

On August 31, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Good Times, Home Improvement, Music20 Comments

The first weekend of August was reserved for the Mill Race Festival of Traditional Music.

I enjoyed listening to the world music brought to this festival. This year, I listened to an artist from Afghanistan:

Qais Essar getting ready to play a 2500 year old instrument – the rabab

And one originally from West Africa, now based out of Montreal:

Zal Sissokho playing the kora – an African harp. It was magical.

The second weekend of August was KW Bluesfest, starting on Thursday night with Rik Emmett (formerly of Triumph):

And then it was Jonny Lang’s turn:

Saturday afternoon, I watched Magic Dick (of J.Geils Band) work his harmonica magic:

Saturday night it was the Ghost Town Blues Band – highly enjoyable – so much so that I forgot to take any pictures!

Sunday morning it was gospel for breakfast:

Then my daughter and her guy left for BC and I fell apart, and into a frenzy of cleaning:

Washed and resealed the slate floor in my bathroom. On my hands and knees. Ouch.

The third weekend of August was set aside for Riverfest Elora.

Friday night, July Talk hit the stage:

Riverfest has gained popularity. It was quite crowded this year. Grrr.

Dear Rouge – another great Canadian band I was privileged to see.

The final weekend of August was for connecting with friends and recovering from all the festival action.

Then a few days ago, I took some time during the week to go to Stratford with Joanne of My Life Lived Full, to catch Rocky Horror at the Avon Theatre:

Waiting for Rocky: Let’s make silly faces, she said. OK, I said.

The next day we got even sillier on the Speed River. Not really, although I did get baptized in the river when my kayak entry went awry (first time, ever!). Thankfully no undignified pictures were snapped because Joanne is a FRIEND first and blogger second. 🙂 Check out her kayaking photos here.

And that pretty much wraps up the month for me.

The Changing Seasons is a monthly blog challenge hosted by Su Leslie of Zimmerbitch.

Rock on,

The WB

Gutted by Grief

On August 23, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Badassery, Hmmm?34 Comments

Dear Blog,

By now you are no doubt wondering where I have suddenly gone. I’ve broken my promise to you to write weekly for this year and you are wondering what the hell happened when I have been going so strong, so far. Wonder no more, dear Bloggie. I have been gutted by grief.

Oh, I know what you are thinking. I should be an old hand at this grief thing by now. After all, I’ve lost so many loved ones over the past 5 years that I note and celebrate a year without a funeral in my annual Christmas letter. Seriously.

I knew that my adult daughter, Mizz J, leaving me to start a new life in British Columbia was going to be tough. After all, she has never lived more than a 15 minute car ride away from me for her entire life. And she spent the last 2 years living with me, again. But I had no idea just how bad it was going to be.

It started with my daughter and her man (who I also love and miss) pulling out of my driveway, for the last time (for the foreseeable future) about a week ago. We’d had a tearful parting, natch, although I was happy to see them start off on this adventure together, and they were happy to be going.

As the vehicle pulled away, I felt…I don’t know how to explain it really…just wrong in my body. I didn’t know what was happening to me physically other than I hated the feeling. Everything was wrong, in my body and my mind. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was distraught and absolutely at loose ends. It was horrible.

Was I dying? Is this what it feels like? I finally decided I wasn’t dying, so now what do I do?

I reached out on Facebook to people for suggestions on how to cope, and I got plenty of good ideas but truly, I was too upset and distracted to employ any of them at the time.

So, practical me, I cleaned instead. And organized. And wept. And thus worked myself into an exhaustion that left no more room for feeling.

So ended the first day.

It got slowly better after that, dear Blog. I went to work. I went to the 3rd of 3 music festivals I committed to this month. I cleaned more. I organized more. I exercised. I meditated. I journalled about being grateful to have deep, reciprocated feelings for family. I worked my plan for this time that I knew was coming.

I am plagued by high levels of fatigue and body aches, yet. I am forgetful and get distracted easily. Remember that advertisement for pain medication that proclaimed “Because depression hurts”? Well, grief hurts too. But even with all the grief I have experienced, to date nothing has given me physical symptoms like this.

Someone suggested that this episode is so severe because it is a culmination of everything that has gone before, hence the extreme reaction. Could be some (or a lot) of truth to that. I can’t say. All I can say is that I thought I knew what grief was, but dear Blog, I really had no idea how devastating it could be – not only mentally but physically.

Someone said to me that I really wasn’t such a badass after all – that this proved I was only “human”. I agreed with them – I am definitely human.

But I still believe I am also a badass and that the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

Being a badass doesn’t mean you are tough as nails and can’t be affected by anything and never feel deep emotion.

Being a badass means life knocks you down and you keep getting back up.

Being a badass means you push through the pain.

Being a badass means you know that life is both good AND bad and that neither condition lasts forever.

So enjoy the good and gut the bad stuff out, dear Bloggie, even when it’s gutting you.

I’ll be visiting you again soon. I promise.

Rock on,

The WB

The August Plan

On August 4, 2018August 31, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Good Times, Hmmm?, Music41 Comments

August is a great month. Fresh corn, peaches, and tomatoes are all available. I have music festivals lined up for each of the first 3 weeks. I’m seeing The Rocky Horror Show in Stratford during the last week of August. It’s my son’s birthday next weekend and I’m throwing him a birthday dinner to celebrate.

What is not to love?

Well, my daughter, who has been living with me for the past 2 years while pursuing her MSW, and her boyfriend, who has been living with us for the past 6 months, are pulling out of Ontario mid-month to start a new life out on the west coast, in British Columbia.

I’m very happy for them. This is the right move for them, for many reasons. And I’m a wee bit envious of their grand adventure. But I’m also going to miss them like crazy.

My place is going to feel very empty for a while. I am going to have to deal with coming home every day to an empty house, again.

Don’t get me wrong – I love living alone.

I want to live alone.

I deserve to live alone.

But every time I have people stay for a length of time, when they leave I have to get used to living alone all over again. And having a child not only leave but move 3-fucking-thousand miles away is going to multiply my alone-feeling exponentially.

I don’t want this to happen:

Hehehehe…the opening of this movie continues to crack me up every time I watch it.

But seriously, I don’t want this to be me.

So I am drafting a bit of a plan, to adjust to being alone again.

Instead of eating or drinking my feelings (a real fear, people), I plan to exercise them. Instead of moping around the house, I plan to clean and organize it. Instead of being my introverted, antisocial self, I might actually call a friend and make a plan to go out.

OK, maybe that last one is a bit of a stretch. 😉

I feel good that I’m anticipating my sadness and have a plan to deal with it.

Today’s post was supposed to be about what a great time I had last Friday at the spa with fellow bloggers Karen and Joanne, and then the continued birthday celebrations at home Saturday, and then meeting lovely Karen The Unassuming Hiker (another blogger I admire) and her equally lovely husband for lunch on Sunday, and how bagged I am from all the socializing and then having to do the job of 2 people at work all week, and my need to recover from all of the above. Whew.

But instead this is what I really need to write about.

Rock on,

The WB

Ranty July – A Changing Seasons Post #monthlyphotochallenge #thechangingseasons

On July 25, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Adventures in Food, Good Times, Hmmm?, See the Beauty, The Great Outdoors38 Comments

July started off with a bang. Canada Day (July 1) is also my daughter’s (Mizz J) birthday. I made a fabulous trifle, using local berries and sherry, and of course plenty of local, growth-hormone free, high quality dairy.

Uh-oh, here comes a rant:

~~Fuck you Trump~~. I support Canadian Dairy and Canadian Dairy supports me, literally. It’s my day job, to work for a company that supports this industry, which I love. So yeah, fuck you, Trump. As a dairy insider, I can tell you your milk is not up to Canadian quality standards. Most of it would not be allowed in this country even if the borders were wide open. And you can thank the Canadian supply management system for making sure Canadians get the highest quality milk for their money. Rant over. (Aren’t you relieved?)

Canada Day dessert — Strawberry Trifle. It was delicious. Note to self: next time don’t be afraid to add more sherry. Yes, that’s real whipped cream on top, people. Thank goddess for my Kitchen Aid mixer. The berries are spectacular this year.

I got out for a Beach Day this month. To my usual haunt: Bayfield.

Stairs to Lake Huron shore — I usually park at the Marina but this year I went to Pioneer Park instead and took the stairs down to the Lake Huron shore.

There was plenty of beauty to see at home, as well.

Mill Pond and day lilies in July — Day Lilies in bloom down at the Mill Pond.

Heron as seen from kayak — I usually can’t get even this close to these wary birds. But this one was intent on fishing so wasn’t focusing on me in the kayak so much.

Another heron fishing. — Could be the same heron. Dunno. There are quite a few of them on the Mill Pond.

Swans on the Mill Pond — There are a few swans as well, peacefully cohabiting with the herons, ducks, geese, and egrets on the Mill Pond.

Sunset clouds reflected on the water — I love capturing the reflections on the Mill Pond throughout the day, and especially the approaching evening.

Sunset reflected on the water — The end of another beautiful July day on the Mill Pond. Taken from the village dock. Which shall forever more be known as The Sex Dock. I was trying to show it off to a visitor and we happened upon a couple banging away under a blanket…ON THE DOCK…IN EARLY EVENING AKA BROAD DAYLIGHT. Needless to say, we turned around immediately and left visiting the dock for another day. #VillageLife

Black caps and raspberries for breakfast — A lovely weekend breakfast including the bountiful berries of July. The berries are spectacular this year, did I mention that? Banana oatmeal pancakes, Greek Yogurt, black caps, raspberries, maple syrup and back bacon. Nespresso latte macchiato – forget which flavour but probably Roma.

And finally, I haven’t mentioned this on the blog yet I don’t think, but I did purchase a new car. On May 25th I picked up a new plug-in hybrid vehicle, a Prius Prime. Forever to be known as Edward the Third, for being my third white Prius that sparkles in the sunlight. I got a full tank of gas with the car. Today, July 25th, I decided it was time to put more gas in since I am anticipating some long drives coming up over the next few days. I still had a little less than a quarter of the original tank left. Behold my dashboard, prior to today’s fill-up:

gas mileage of Prius Prime after 2 months driving — That’s right – 3043 km driven and I still have a bit of gas left. Today was my first ever fill-up of the car I picked up on May 25!

I’m very pleased with my new car. The range of electric driving for me is around 56 km. I was told the car had a range of 40 km, however the car ~~learns how you drive~~ trains you how to drive more efficiently and rewards you with more range. It takes into account the amount of energy you save with regenerative braking and also coasting and using the engine brake to slow down. So I’ve “earned” a range of 56 km by giving up my lead foot. 😉

Which means during the week I drive solely on electric power on any given day. I only seem to dip into gas power on weekends, when I take longer drives for Beach Days and such.

Uh-oh, I’m feeling ranty again…

I was planning on trading in Edward II later on this year, but decided to take advantage of the government incentive to buy a plug-in hybrid. And I’m glad I did when I did because the provincial government has changed hands and now this rebate has been terminated.

Ironically, the party now in power campaigned that they are for the little guy, yet they take away a rebate that could actually benefit the common person. They’ve told their base that electric cars are only for the elite and cost $$$$. Which is blatantly untrue. Clearly they are taking a page from the Trump playbook and the sheeple believe their gaslighting, as I’ve seen on Twitter.

Follow the money, people. Follow the money, to learn the truth.

It’s been 2 months of daily driving and all I’ve spent on gas is $32. Only just today. Just sayin’…

Fuck you too, Ford. Rant over, and out.

(OMG, do I ever need that Spa Day.)

The Changing Seasons is a monthly photo challenge hosted by Su Leslie of Zimmerbitch.

Rock on,

The WB

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My Life’s Third Act

On July 20, 2018July 20, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Artistic Endeavours, Badassery, Hmmm?43 Comments

A week from now I’ll be celebrating my 59th birthday. I plan on spending the actual day of at a luxurious spa with some fellow bloggers – 2 kindred spirits I have come to know and befriend. I can’t think of a better way to kick off another year.

A week from now I will be only 1 year away from officially starting my “third act”.

59 – that is also the official start of my 60th year of life. If I die after next week, the obit will read “…in her 60th year…”.

I’m doing a lot of reflecting lately – even more so than usual – and this is a short list of events that helped shape me during this last, past decade.

In my 50s, I (not always in chronological order):

Became engaged (on my 49th birthday, so technically right at the start of my 50th year of life)
Started blogging again, for realz this time (on September 3rd, 2009. The Blogger blog was called The Next Year of My Life. I wanted to capture all of my thoughts and plans leading up to my 2nd marriage)
Got married again, at age 51, on September 3rd, 2010
Became a widow, 3 years later, on November 14, 2013
Found out in January 2014 that my late husband had cheated on me with another woman (for 18 months!) while we were living together
Ran 4 more half-marathons (1st one was when I was 48)
Went to the Netherlands 3 times
Went to Barbados 3 times
Had 2 mini-strokes and was diagnosed with high blood pressure
Had laser eye surgery
Straightened my teeth with Invisalign
Lost my mother, my father-in-law, and my dog (all in the same year)
Sold my house and moved into my late husband’s building
Spent a year cleaning up the mess left behind by my late husband’s hoarding
Completely repaired/renovated the building’s exterior doors, lights, roofs, plumbing, electrical, heating and cooling
Completely renovated my new living space – new kitchen and bathrooms, floors, electrical, laundry, etc.
Became a commercial landlord, to a museum!
Completed a Master of Business Administration degree
Was diagnosed with underactive thyroid (as if all of the above wasn’t enough to explain my tiredness 😉 )
Became the Widow Badass

Wow. That sounds like a lot as I read it. But is it really? I wonder if we look back on any given decade, if we don’t find that an awful lot of life has happened to us, while we were busy making other plans (thanks, John Lennon).

What all will happen during my next decade? Will I get a next decade? What will be a result of my intentions, and what will be my reactions to things that happen to me that are out of my control? Hmmmm.

Finished piece celebrating precious life — Precious Life. Finished! Each dot represents a month of life. The total number of dots represent the months of a 90 year life span. The dots highlighted with pearlescent paint are the ones I have experienced so far in my journey. The deepest, richest dots are yet to come, my painting predicts. Buddha of the Polebeans graciously offers to hold up my piece.

As per my painting, I am getting close to entering the final third of my life. So naturally I’ve been thinking a lot about life’s third act – MY life’s third act and how I want it to look. I intend the spend the next year working on some ideas for the final third, if I’m lucky enough to be here for it.

Jane has given me a lot to think about. I hope you take the time to watch the video below, and that you enjoy it.

What are some of your plans for your third act?

Do tell and rock on,

The WB

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Musings of an Old Rock Chick: The Foo Fighters Show

On July 14, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Artistic Endeavours, Good Times, Music31 Comments

I go to a fair number of live rock shows and festivals, even at this age (almost 59). #stillnottheoldestpersonhere.

At least I try to get out there, because I love the energy of a live performance. And I love the energy of the crowd. And I enjoy most of them.

But every once in a while along comes an event that just blows all the others out of the water. A perfect concert for the ages.

One that exhilarates and drains you at the same time.

One where the crowd (whatever size) and the band come together as one in such a feeling of intimacy and joy and love of the music.

One that you still remember and think about months and years later.

I can only count a handful of them out of all the shows/artists I have been privileged to see. Those that come to mind that I have seen in the past decade are: Leonard Cohen, Paul McCartney, Arcade Fire, and now the Foo Fighters/The Struts/The Beaches Show on Thursday night.

Foo Fighters Toronto Concert — Rock and Grohl. Dave Grohl and band bring the love of rock to 50,000 souls at the Rogers Centre Thursday night.

It’s been 2 days since Mizz J and I attended the Toronto Foo Fighters show and I am still bagged. It didn’t help that I hadn’t slept since 2 am the morning of, and didn’t get home till 2 am the next morning – meaning a full 24 hours without sleep. And that I had to go into work the next morning despite having booked the day off, because I knew my staff needed help to get through an unexpected workload.

I purchased these tickets last October (!!!) so even though work was already crazy on Thursday morning, I WAS GOING. Even though there was increased security/police presence around the venue due to an unnamed threat to public safety, I WAS GOING.

No one….no crazy incel or terrorist or looney with a beef was going to stop me from getting to this show. Fuck all of you creeps, I AM GOING. (And I DID. AND IT WAS FINE. THANK YOU INCREASED POLICE PRESENCE.)

For months I had been watching the @foofighters twitter feed, and seeing individual posters for and before each show being tweeted. I wasn’t sure if this was fan art or actual legit concert posters, but I was hoping…oh, how I was hoping…that there would be something for sale at the Toronto show, and that it would be wonderful.

And it was. Like it was made specifically for me.

Foo Fighters Toronto Show poster — One of two versions of the Toronto Show poster. Already framed and hanging on the wall. If you come to my house, it will be the first thing you see when you exit the bathroom. Yer welcome!

I know ~~all~~ ~~most~~ some of you are thinking: Eeewwww. How creepy!

But for me, this is the perfect rock poster, for where I am in my journey. I see in it the Triple Goddess and the Queen of Wands (rock and roll version)…and it looks like the artist was stylistically channeling an absinthe-drinking Alphonse Mucha – on a bender. In other words, plenty of the symbolism and artistic inspiration that I am already attracted to, for this badass widow and wanna-be artist. Plus skeletons don’t bother me at all. I think they are beautiful. I am not afraid of death because it is part of life, and I love life. I believe you can’t fully live if you are afraid to die.

This was the other version of the Toronto show poster, for sale:

Foo Fighter Constellation Poster — Foo Fighter alternative Toronto Show poster – Meh. Although, it IS cool Dave is wearing a Rush image on his shirt. He did mention Rush during the show and thanked Canada/Toronto for giving the world Rush. And Taylor (drummer) wore the same image on the back of his tank that night. Très cool homage to another great band.

I’m so ~~happy~~ thrilled I experienced this show, and got the poster, and a couple of t-shirts too.

I wonder how many more extraordinary concert moments are still in the cards for me. For sure, I will be taking advantage of any that I can, even if I have to go solo.

What about you? What would you not miss for the world, even if meant you had to go alone?

Rock on,

The WB