The Widow Badass Goes to School

Kayak school, that is! Last Saturday I partook in Basic Kayak Skills – a Paddle Canada course taught by the talented and friendly instructor Caroline Ross of Crosscurrents Kayak. Although I’ve been using a kayak for almost a decade, I’ve never had formal instruction in how to use one properly. In my former life in Ontario kayaking only in the flat waters of lakes and the Speed River, I could get away with this. But now, with so much ocean coastline to explore (and a brand new sea kayak), I decided it was time to get serious about improving my skills assuming I actually have any and my safety.

We started the day with on-shore instruction about the kayak itself and then it was time to head into our boats to learn and practice basic kayak strokes.

Practicing my reverse stroke. This and all subsequent photos taken by Caroline.
Working on a pivot turn. Notice the laser focus ๐Ÿ˜

After lunch came instruction on how to make a controlled wet exit. Caroline led us through each of the actions we’d have to perform upside down and under water in order to let our companions know we were fine and going to free ourselves from our boats using the controlled wet exit process. I declined the profferred goggles and nose plugs, figuring if I capsized one day I wouldn’t be wearing them at the time so best to experience what that would be like.

Practicing the steps I will need to complete underwater in order to exit my boat.
Over I go!

And wouldn’t you know it – I got water up my nose and came up sputtering and coughing, but hey! I came UP!

The next item on the day’s agenda was to learn and practice the Assisted T Rescue. Something strange happened to me while Caroline was teaching this part – I began to panic. All I could see in my mind was a flashback to the Broken Islands Lodge: watching 2 young staff struggling (and failing) to get back into their kayaks from deep water while they practiced. Never mind that they weren’t doing what we were going to attempt – my mind was racing with thoughts like: I’ll never be able to get back in the boat; if those young people couldn’t do it, how could I possible do it?; I’m going to hold up the whole class; how do I get out of this?!?!?! Those of you who know me know I don’t panic easily, if at all. I was free-falling (in my mind) and I didn’t know how to get out of this spiral of negative thinking.

Thankfully, both Caroline and my rescue partner were so supportive and encouraging that I didn’t head back to shore in defeat retreat like I desperately wanted to, and instead successfully completed both parts of the rescue TWICE!

Playing the part of the “swimmer”. Hanging onto Jane’s boat in koala pose, while she empties the water out of my boat.
Attempting (successfully I might add ๐Ÿ˜Š) my first heel hook re-entry, while Jane braces my kayak. This was the part I was most freaked out worried about.
All the way in and getting ready to turn around and re-seat myself.
Putting the spray skirt back on. Jane continues to brace until I am ready to accept my paddle back. What a feeling of relief and empowerment! Woohoo, I DID IT!!!
My turn to rescue Byron. I approach his boat.
I ask Byron if he is OK and let him know I have his boat and can accept his paddle (after which he can flip the boat over for me).
Byron is in koala pose on my boat and I can now empty his boat by raising it over mine and turning it upside down.
In the process of emptying his boat.
Bracing his boat as Byron is using the heel hook to re-enter.

I’m so happy that I was able to successfully complete this course and can’t thank my instructor Caroline and the rest of the participants enough. The instruction and support I received made all the difference and helped me to get past my sudden-onset bout of panic.

Now I’m excited to go for my Paddle Canada Level 1 Certification in 2024!

Have you ever been overcome with panicked thoughts, like I was? What did you do to get past it?

Rock on,

The WB

52 thoughts on “The Widow Badass Goes to School

    1. Thank you, Jean ๐Ÿ’• I am kinda proud of myself – more for not turning tail and runningโ€ฆerโ€ฆpaddling away than for what I learned, actually. Who knew that I would be learning way more than kayak skills that day?!?!

    1. The course took place at one of you and Paul’s favourite places in Nanaimo: Westwood Lake! The water was extremely pleasant still, and it was a sunny and warm day. I had brought my wetsuit (as instructed) but it wasn’t needed. Thanks, Janis ๐Ÿ’•.

  1. You are simply awesome! Well done, my friend!!

    Thank you for all the step-by-step instructions. As you know, Iโ€™ve tried and failed numerous times to do a deep water re-entry, but now I have a new method to try!

    1. Level 1 is going to teach me how to do a solo re-entry using a paddle float! As well as navigate a course considering things like currents and tides. With my newfound confidence, I am looking forward to this! Thanks, my friend ๐Ÿ’•

    1. ๐Ÿคฃ I used to say something similar, as in โ€œYou wonโ€™t catch me running unless something big and bad is chasing meโ€ but then I went on to train for and complete 5 half-marathons (in my 40s and 50s). So, you never know, Jessica! Thanks ๐Ÿ’•

  2. Joyce

    You are my hero and my inspiration to keep going! I am so proud of you sister! ๐Ÿ’• โ€ฆ kayak on!
    I look forward to your next course adventures!!

  3. Wow! I won’t ever do that! Looks way too complicated. I used to kayak on a manmade lake. No waterfalls, no surf, just smooth water like glass. I enjoyed just being on the water. The kayak was one you took apart and put together on site. Sadly I lost custody of it in a divorce and never bought another. Your class looks very cool! A lot of stuff to learn (and remember not to panic!).

    1. Definitely DO NOT PANIC. I thought it was complicated tooโ€ฆat first. But my instructor broke it down into manageable bites. Itโ€™s lovely, being on the water – agreed! Thanks, Kate ๐Ÿ’•

  4. caroldehaven

    That was amazing…go you! I have only kayaked once in Florida off the beach into surf (Wow) and then we paddled down a quiet intercoastal stream. I was fearful of turning over and getting trapped so have not pursued kayaking again. I can see that learning the proper techniques can definitely help with the panic! I’m a Florida girl so my question is how cold was the water? Congratulations on your new kayak and skills!!

    1. We were on a freshwater lake and the water was plenty warm yet from the long hot summer weโ€™ve experienced. Also, it was 23C that day and everybody else there was swimming and enjoying the lake as we were practicing our skills. Like it was high summer. Thanks, Carol ๐Ÿ’•

  5. Oh, Wow, this is awesome, Deb! I love the photos you share. Happy you came UP! Great about successfully completing! You remind me how Chuck and I took a canoeing course one on one with an instructor before we did our first Bowron Lake canoe circuitโ€ฆwet suits (or is it dry suit?), (separate canoes)yes, tipping over, getting back in, helping each other, lots of survival practiseโ€ฆโ€ฆ..the one big memory is how my body had huge blue bruises all over it for the next while. Yet, a feeling of confidence with new skills. Good for you, Deb! You are always an inspiration! Feel the fear, yet do it anyways. ๐Ÿ’• Erica

    1. Yeahโ€ฆ.the bruises! I had a great big one finally disappear from my left knee area (from the Broken Islands trip), and now I have its mate blooming on my right ๐Ÿคฃ. We were told to bring our wetsuits but I didnโ€™t bother putting mine on as the weather and the water temps were great that day. Thanks, Erica ๐Ÿ’•

  6. I second your daughter. Good idea in ocean waters to have all the skills you need. I’m super impressed at your hard work and determination. As to panic attacks- I have mild ones in crowds. And that was pre covid! Imagine now… not as I haven’t really gone in a crowd now since pre-2020. As to what to do, you have to focus on just breathing deeply and trying to keep your thoughts on the breath. Means you can’t hear much else but your own head which if you are getting instructions and supposes to be listening. Bernie

  7. hilarymb

    Hi Deb – that’s amazing … and so glad you came UP – if you’d stayed under or down we’d have never had the running (canoeing) commentary! It’s something I wouldn’t do … but wonderful you’re taking this opportunity to get out and there and utilise the sea and lands around the Island. Presumably you’ll always go with one or two others?

    The only thing I’ve done – is jump into a canyon, as there was no way back, I managed to not be pushed, but boy did I go down and down … I did think at one stage they did say I’d come back up!!! I had nightmares about it for a long while, and it brings back troubling memories … beautiful hike in the southern Cape … while the swim afterwards was fairly challenging too – not being the best hiker or swimmer! Such is life – an experience …

    Oh yes – Mum and us kids were sailing in Falmouth harbour, where warships moored … and there wasn’t enough wind and we were being drawn in under the one ship’s bow, which was rising out of the water. Thankfully Mum got us out of it – but my tummy isn’t happy thinking about it now!

    Experiences … you’ll enjoy your kayaking exploration now – and good for you for going for your level 1 certificate next year: congratulations – cheers Hilary

    1. Thank you, Hilary ๐Ÿ’•. Your adventures sound a bit hair-raising, for sure! Yes, I plan to mostly go with one or two othersโ€ฆat least until I get more accomplished at self-rescue.

  8. I’m so proud of you! This is a big deal and it’s fabulous that you can/could actually save yourself and a fellow kayaker! Empowering indeed.

    There are a couple of fears that I’ve pushed through in the last 10 years: snorkeling in the ocean. (way out!) I’m afraid of fish….I know, it’s weird, but I actually snorkeled off the coast of Brazil a few years ago where there were nurse sharks and I didn’t shit myself. ๐Ÿ˜œ
    I’m also terribly afraid of heights and I was able to push through and Zip Line on two different trips to Costa Rica. I think it’s the whole When In Rome mentality that helps me.

    1. Way to go, Suz! I love snorkeling but have never done it way out. I became afraid of heights only once I became a motherโ€ฆsome self-preservation gene finally kicked in, so as not to leave my offspring motherless I suppose!

      I usually am able to get past my fears by speaking as my future self and telling me how glad I am that I was able to take in that experience (and reminding myself how much I will regret it if I donโ€™t do it)โ€ฆbut on this particular day I was in such a panicked downward spiral of thoughts that I couldnโ€™t get out of my head on my own.

      Thanks! ๐Ÿ’•

    1. I thought that part would be difficult, but it was actually quite easy (again, thanks to Carolineโ€™s coaching me to keep my body low and my legs as straight as possible when I did it). Thanks, Marty ๐Ÿ’•

  9. debscarey

    Deb, I take my hat off to you for attending (and passing) this course – it sounds truly scary. It reminds me of a colleague who spoke to me about the escape from a downed helicopter training he had to attend in order to go out to an oil rig for work. While he could swim, he wasn’t a good swimmer, nor did he feel comfortable in the water. I was seriously impressed by his grit in getting it done. And with yours too.

  10. Pingback: A Glutton For Punishment – Kayak Skills Course Level 1 – THE WIDOW BADASS BLOG

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