When I was a newly minted teenager, I first discovered fountain pens. My dad had given me a old-fashioned box of nibs and a couple of plastic holders that he picked up somewhere from someone, along with a bottle of ink. I loved dipping those pens into the ink bottle and pouring my profound (as profound as any 13 year old’s) thoughts into my notebook every day.
As I got older, I stopped using the pens and writing my profound thoughts down for a time. I was busy as a young wife, career woman, and mother.
Then one day I read “Writing Down the Bones” by Natalie Goldberg, and I remembered my love for writing and for fountain pens as I was reading about her use of the same. So I bought a disposable fountain pen and a cheap notebook, and began pouring out my thoughts (profound and otherwise) again. It felt good to be able to articulate what I was feeling and going through in this way. It was a release valve for me, as I struggled to find meaning and happiness in an unsuitable marriage. Until I found out a decade later that my then-husband had been sneaking into my desk drawer and reading my journal entries all these years without my permission. I felt violated and stopped writing completely. My fountain pens dried up, and I threw them away.
I didn’t keep a journal in my second marriage. I had no more trust left in me. I created and took down a couple of anonymous blogs, writing about my struggles in living with a man who refused to seek help for his OCD. I was so afraid he would find out that they never lasted long.
When JD died and I spent a year cleaning up his hoard, I came across a never-used Waterman fountain pen, still in the presentation box. I did use it a couple of times (for signing the lease with my tenants, for example) but I didn’t like the memories I had attached to it, that came up with each use. Funny how we do this to inanimate objects. Also, I don’t know the provenance of it. Was it a gift from an ex-lover? The woman he cheated on me with? I still have it, but no longer use it. It probably won’t survive the next purge I do around Chez Badass. Instead I bought a (cheap but very nice) Lamy pen off the Interwebs, that I have been using to write with.
So that brings us to the present day. Phidon Pens has been around since 2008, and I have been aware of it since it opened, as it is across the street from the year-round Farmers’ Market that I love to visit. Yet, I had never gone in. Due to a multitude of factors, including me never being in the area when it was actually open for business. And a very real fear of spending my life savings on a rekindled fountain pen mania. Hah!
Which is kinda exactly what happened. I made a special effort to attend the 10th anniversary sale (30% off EVERYTHING), and dropped a load of money on goodies. I almost bought another fountain pen – a beautiful rose gold brushed metal number that felt great in the hand. But, dear Bloggie, instead I bought a converter for the Lamy that I already owned. So now I can draw up one of the inks I bought, instead of relying solely on purchased cartridges. How mature. How fiscally responsible.
Let’s not discuss the glass dip pen (so beautiful, so much fun) though, shall we?
Rock on,
The WB
Those breaches of trust can be such spoilers! Happy for you to be reunited with your love of fountain pens. Might I suggest some ceremonial removal of the suspicious one from your possession? I got a lot of satisfaction out of doing something similar…..
That’s a great idea, Tracey! I’ve done that in the past with some items – and it was very satisfying. Thanks for the reminder!
YAY! The WordPress Gods have finally granted me access to write a comment – after the 4th attempt. Grrr.
You are clearly putting distance between you and the past – as best as any of us can do. I’m glad you are rekindling your early loves. They deserve another chance.
You are however more mature than I am. I would have bought the brushed rose-gold number 🙂
The WordPress gods were mad at me too this morning. At one point I thought I’d lost the entire draft of this post 😱. Glad you were able to comment, Joanne. Remind me not to take you to Phidon 🤣.
I had an online chat with a ‘Happiness Engineer earlier this week and I was told they have a known problem with Safari since the version 12 upgrade.
Their response was that so far they are monitoring the situation to see how many complaints they get (I’m paraphrasing). Sigh. So much for ‘happiness’. I guess they weren’t referring to the customer’s.
I’m on my way to complain to WordPress again! Waiting to tally up the complaints that they receive?!! That is so irresponsible!!
Deb – Could you use one of your new fountain pens to tell WordPress to properly address this issue??!! 🙂
Hehehe! Imagine me trying to do just that! Does WordPress even have a physical address?!?
You’re right. I just checked as well. No physical address that I can find. And since I am self-hosted I do not have access to their “Happiness Engineers”. I would call this the opposite of WP Happiness!
At first I was having the problem 100% of the time. Trying to comment was a challenge and *liking” a post was simply out of the question. Sometimes I just gave up trying.
What’s frustrating now is that the problem has become intermittent. Sometimes I have no issues at all and then it decides to get finicky again.
In fairness to them, I suspect it just wasn’t worded very well. If I had to guess, I think they are aware there is a problem, but they can’t fix something that isn’t well defined yet. User feedback indicates whether or not they are succeeding.
I haven’t had any problems since yesterday, and the WordPress app on my phone is working well too. Sorry to hear this, Joanne!
Glad to hear you aren’t having any problems. The fact that some of the time it’s now working ok is actually encouraging.
Nope. Not at all.
My husband collected ink pens—the old fancy fountain pens and he had the velvet cases for collectors to keep them in. I still have them and eventually they will go on e-Bay. I’ve never liked using ink pens because I make too many mistakes so I use pencils most of the time but probably have a couple of hundred of ink pens in the house if I ever change my mind. To bad you two never met. You could have talked fountain pens until the cows come home.
It’s sad that someone had to take your trust away in keeping journals. I hope that comes back as you and it could. As we age we keep learning to speak our truth and then let the chips fall where they may.
Sounds like your husband had many collections, Jean! Not surprised that fountain pens was one of them. Yes, here’s to speaking our truth and writing it all down! Thanks Jean.
OMG! I was in Cambridge and found Phidon in July where I bought an even cheaper fountain pen called “Preppy” and a bundle of pink and purple ink cartridges. I also own a couple of Lamy’s – one a fountain pen and another a super-fine tipped roller-ball. I LOVE pens of all kinds. Have you tried your hand at modern calligraphy? Look up the Happy Ever Crafter, if you’re interested. Your collection could grow.
I will! Thanks Susanne. I was thinking of signing up for a modern calligraphy class at Phidon!
There is something special about a fountain pen, isn’t there? I haven’t used one since school but it always makes me think of elegance and beautiful handwriting. I do love a good pen to write with. Good for you in spoiling yourself with a new purchase. Have a great week! xx
Thanks Sue!
I’ve never once owned (and maybe never seen) an actual fountain pen. I’ve seen calligraphy brushes. And after years of knowing I despised pencil, I finally realized why: as a left-hander who does not twist my hand, I spent my childhood with a big pencil-lead smudge running down the left-side of my hand. I’d imagine that fountain pens would do the same. I also have some negative history with journalling and lost trust — I’m sorry you experienced that. I hope you can reconnect to the habit if it is something that will feed your soul.
Thanks for another interesting post!
I met a left handed fountain pen aficionado yesterday. She said they have special pen nibs for lefties, and yes she also complained of ink stains on her hand. But she still loves her fountain pens!
I never developed your passion for a fountain pen, I was too clumsy with them and ended up with more ink on me than on the paper. However, I did develop a fondness for unusual ballpoint pens, and every trip we took to Germany, I tried to find something fun and different. They have a great love for writing instruments. My favorite is a gold covered pen with a map of the world. Write on – Right on!
Your pen sounds fabulous, Karen! I love all manner of pens but there is something extra special about writing with a fountain pen, for me.
I used fountain pens when I was in school – the type that took a refillable cartridge. Of course I had ink all over myself – it’s a wonder I don’t have permanently stained fingers. If I had the patience to write beautifully, fountain pens would be my first choice to get the job done! But since my penmanship has deteriorated to the point where I can’t read my own writing, I’ll hold off on investing in any for now. Besides it could be risky – when wordpress is acting up I could use one as a weapon! Haha!
Yes you could Molly! But be careful – you could poke your eye out!
I’ve never been one to enjoy writing with fancy pens all that much; probably because I’ve never really tried it other than hand calligraphing my wedding announcements when I got married the first time….and they were gorgeous on their embossed paper with the cutout details. I still have that wedding album and every now and then I’ll run my fingers over the calligraphy and marvel at how it’s still raised and looks like it was recently done. I used a dipping pen for that. I very much like the idea of signing important documents with a special pen, though…..
But for the most part, I just enjoy a fine tip ball point pen, until and unless the ink gets gloppy.
P.S. For some reason, my WP account that I am signed into here won’t link to me. So I am trying to change that!
I have that problem too, Kim. The phone app, my laptop – no problems. On my iMac I have lots of problems commenting on other people’s blogs. Urgh. Thanks for commenting and persevering!
Oh Debbie! Your newly procured stash sounds like the bag we would have walked away with … except maybe we would not have been quite as responsible and would have gotten the new pen as well!
Enjoy playing with you new & new/old toys!
Thank you Ju Lyn!
I can so relate. As a teenager, my mother read my diary one day, and I got into a ton of trouble because she found out I had spent the night with my boyfriend and had lied about it. In actual fact I was of the opinion I had done nothing wrong and thought her act was a terrible violation of my privacy, and like you, it was years before I would write in a journal again. The trust had been shattered and the end result was the feeling that true feelings better not be put into print.
Oh those glorious fountain pens!
Peta
Thanks Peta. Sorry you had to go through that. It sucks to be silenced that way.