Dear Em

On July 6, 2011 By The Widow BadassIn Hmmm?Leave a comment

A few days ago, I read this posting by Yarn Harlot. She, without fail, publishes a great Canada Day post – one that I love to read and makes me feel so proud to be a Canadian. This year’s was no exception. I urge you especially to click on the link in her posting, to read and savour former Prime Minister Paul Martin’s speech about same-sex marriage, in its entirety.

In this year’s posting however, she did something uncharacteristic, which was to prematurely complain about the critical emails and comments she was sure to receive from some of her readers for being pro-Canada and for being accepting of gay people and gay marriage. I think I understand her frustration, although I have not experienced much of this kind of response myself, and I hope under the same circumstances I would think twice before hitting the publish button with that remark in the posting…but (sigh) I probably wouldn’t.

I scrolled through the comments (and there were a TON of them, as usual) and most were very positive. Of course, some weren’t. She did, after all, pretty much ask for it. One commenter’s thoughts in particular, really have stayed with me, days later. The commenter, Em, left several comments about gay marriage and her view of homosexuality. “IT IS AN ABOMINATION AND A SIN and God hates it”, is how she put it.

Wow. Strong words.

Then later, in the comments (copied exactly, spelling/grammar errors included), Em reveals that she is all of 17 years old and about to enter the military:

Well I really don’t know what else to say that hasn’t already been said. I’m only 17, a week a way from leaving for bootcamp for the United States Navy. Despite everything, I am honored to serve my country.
The botom line is if you don’t belive in the Bible, then you have no reason to think that gay marriage is wrong. Period. Quite frankly if our founding fathers wanted gay marriage to be legal they would have put it in the constitution, or there would have been an amendment soon after when people saw that it wasn’t legal and became outraged. Fact is, that didn’t happen, back then people would have been outraged if the idea of it being legal was even thought of. Its only been in the last couple of decades that people have wanted equal rights. It tells you something about the way our thinking has gone.
If you don’t like gay marriage being illegal in most of the United States of America, then go live in Canada. And quit harping about how you are embarrassed of the United States, which despite most peoples thinking, is the greatest place in the world. Just go ask the people living in Haiti, or Uganda if they would like to move here.
One more thing, I am not a hater, although I have never personnally known a gay person, or at least I didn’t know if I did. I don’t hate them nor do I think they are disgusting. I think there sin is disgusting, just as is mine. I can only fall on my knees and thank Jesus Christ for dying for me so that I can be with him forever. And I would pray that everyine would find HIM.
“Every way of man is right in his own eyes; but the Lod pondereth the hearts” Proverbs 21:2

When I read this comment, my heart just melted for Em. I think she is a thoughtful and passionate young woman and I wish her only the best. If she was commenting on my blog, this is what I would say to her:

Dear Em,

How I would love to hear from you again when you are 27, 37 and 47, to hear your thoughts on this subject at those times in your life, as you progress and gain life experience! I hope in later years, that you do get to know some gay people (you probably already do, but they are afraid to be honest around you due to your beliefs) and perhaps your mind and heart will open a bit, and you will begin to think independently and critically, and question the motives of those telling you what is a sin and what isn’t.

There are many people who believe that being gay is a lifestyle, a choice (your comments suggests you might think the same). And to those people, I’d like to say: Is your sexuality a choice? Did you get to choose to be attracted to whichever gender you are attracted to (whether that is the gender you publicly profess to be attracted to or not is another story)? Did you choose to be right or left handed? Did you choose your eye colour or your height? I would be surprised if you say yes because that has not been my experience nor the experience of any people I know. In the words of certain pop star – I was born this way. Being 5 foot four (on a good day), green-eyed, right-handed, and straight is something I am, not something I choose to do or be.

And let me paraphrase Dolly Parton here, to share with you my views on the subject of homosexuality. She said it best for me when she said being gay is not something you do, it’s something you are. Then she followed with: How can it be a sin to be who you are, when that is who God made you to be?

I’d like you to consider these statements, now at 17… and later, as you gain more life experience.

And Em, I hope you came back to the Comments to read this one, from Aidan. He pretty much sums up exactly how I feel about love – there isn’t even close to enough of it on this earth to then limit it only to those who “qualify”, according to certain religious groups:

I don’t believe in Gay Marriage. I believe in Marriage. Period. If teh ghays wants to get married, well, all right by me! Let me know where you are registered.

Twenty-something years ago, when I was younger and thinner and had more hair, Reform Rabbis in North America were getting together to vote on whether or not teh ghays should be allowed to serve as Rabbis or Cantors. Our congregation held a meeting to provide our Rabbi with counsel. At this meeting there were some horrible words springing from the mouths of people I cared a great deal about — words like “abomination” and “evil inclination”.

Then an old man I had never seen before stood. He rolled up his sleeve and he showed us the tattoo on his arm. And he said “I want you to see my credentials for speaking to you today. I lived in time when I thought love was dead. The sun had disappeared, tolerance was gone, G-d was dead. Well, somehow, love survived. And I don’t care if men love each other, or women love each other, I’m going to side with love every time. If they want to be Rabbis? They will have my support. If they want to marry on the bimmah, under a chuppah? I will dance at their weddings. G-d only survives as long as love and tolerance survive.”

I cried there. I have cried every time I have thought about it over the last twenty-some years. I am crying now, as I type. I never saw the man again, and I never learned his name. But as G-d is my witness, I will always come down on the side of love and tolerance. And G-d survives.

Em, I wish you only the best and I hope that your experience in the military is a positive one, that you serve proudly and escape harm. Continue to be passionate about your beliefs. Too many of us are afraid to stand up for what we believe. Or afraid to even think deeply on the subject of WHAT IS IT exactly, that we do believe and feel in our hearts. I hope that as you mature, you do continue to think deeply about your religion and your beliefs and will not be afraid to challenge those ideas that don’t sit quite right with you.

And mostly, thank you Em, for creating for me this opportunity to think deeply about what I feel on the subject of love between two consenting adults, whatever their gender.

Best regards,

Anyone who knows me very well, knows I struggle with my feelings about organized religion, though I consider myself to be a spiritual person. Most days my feelings are leaning towards viewing organized religion as among the worst of the evils that escaped Pandora’s box.

Is there any human-controlled force on Earth that has caused more war, death, persecution and suffering than organized religion?

Are there any teachings, that have been abused more, twisted more, promoted more, to push and control people to live and behave a certain way in order to further the agendas of others, than those found in religious materials?

I wonder. When I read comments such as posted on YH’s blog (mild compared to some I have come across on the web), this only reinforces my thoughts on the subject.

I am sure there are those who will tell me there has been a lot of good done by individuals in the name of religion as well, but I wonder if these people wouldn’t have been compelled to help the less fortunate among us anyways, and organized religion just afforded them to an outlet to express their basic nature and altruism? (Just as organized religion provides the perfect vehicle for those with evil, self-serving motives . Unfortunately, there are examples of this in the news just about every day.)

We human beings are slow-learners. We are getting there – women are considered to be human nowadays in most parts of the world, as an example – but we still have a long way to go.

July Challenge: Become an Iron Maiden

On July 1, 2011 By The Widow BadassIn Uncategorized2 Comments

Looking back on my Workout Log (see left sidebar for link) for June, I see a lotta pink (daily steps), a fair smattering of blue (brisk walks), sprinkling of purple (C25K training), and one lonely little green entry (strength training).

Oh Data, it’s such a marvelous thing! It allows you to make objective decisions based on the facts, just the facts, ma’am. And the fact is, I need to make strength training as much of a daily/weekly habit as snapping on my pedometer and going for a walk!

So, here is the July Challenge pour moi:

At least 10 minutes of strength training per day for every day in July. Simple yet effective, non?

I have three DVDs (Tamilee Webb’s Tight on Time Hot Spots, & Tight on Time Body Blast, and Spark People’s Fit, Firm and Fired Up in 10 Minutes a Day) to choose from, that offer just that – 10 minute workouts with weights, each workout focusing on different area of the body…and even one whole body 10 minute blaster. A month of these 10 minute workouts will lay the foundation for bigger and better sessions come August!

Happy Canada Day everyone!!!!

(especially my Canada Day baby…Mizz J. Happy Birthday dear daughter!)

About the Noise Level…

On June 26, 2011 By The Widow BadassIn Uncategorized2 Comments

An Open Letter to my Fellow Gym Members who need Ear-Splitting Levels of Music to Work Out:

Isn’t it great that we belong to a 24 hour gym? One that lets us in to work out even when there is no one there to supervise? Yeah, I think it’s great too. Keeps costs down, and hey, we’re all adults, right? Meaning we are responsible users of the gym and won’t abuse the privilege of being able to be there at any time we want. Right?

So how come when I go in during unsupervised hours, often the gym’s sound system is cranked to brain-puddling levels? So loud, that I have to dial up my iPod to the max just to hear my workout music, AND I CAN STILL HEAR the gym’s sound system playing thrash-metal over top of it. I don’t think it’s particularly fair that I have to choose to between getting fit and keeping my hearing, do you?

Forget it. Don’t bother to answer. It was a rhetorical question, dumba**. There is no good reason/excuse to damage everyone’s hearing, including your own.

Speaking of iPods/MP3 players…why don’t you get one and crank it till your ears bleed. That’s right…YOUR EARS…and no one else’s.

So, the next time I go to the gym and I feel like my head is going to explode as soon as I walk in the door, I am heading straight to the sound system and pulling the plug. Please try to keep your ‘Roid Rage in check.

This has been a public service announcement for/by sane people everywhere.

3 weeks later and 4 pounds lighter…

On June 19, 2011 By The Widow BadassIn Uncategorized1 Comment

…I am seeing benefits of my renewed dedication to my health.

I have a significant increase in physical and mental energy.

My legs are firming up and regaining their shape, from the running and the walking I am doing.

I have been successful at integrating running workouts into my schedule. Just completed week 3 of a Couch – to – 5 K plan.

My weight training workouts – well, I am not so successful there. This is because it is not as easy and mindless as jumping onto the treadmill, tapping on my iPod to get the workout playing, and taking off from there. I have to concentrate on proper form, and at this stage for me, it means referring to the print-outs of the exercises I carry in my gym bag. Plus it takes longer than my treadmill workouts. According to the Body Sculpting Bible, I am supposed to be resting for 90 seconds in between sets. So, I perform a set then…la di da di da ho hum la di da…I set up for, and read up on the next exercise. I wait for the time to pass… and fret just a bit about how my lunch hour is running long and I need to get back to work…and by that time my pretty little pink Gym Boss rings and away I go again.

So, when I feel pressed for time, I ditch the weights and jump onto the treadmill. For that mindless, feel-good workout. Yes, I do realize the stupidity of this. I am a big believer of strength training so this bugs me, that I can’t get into a regular routine with weights. I have to come up with a different solution – a faster workout to get me into the habit of lifting weights again as I am now in the habit of running again.

I have a lot of weight training DVDs that offer 10-20 minute workouts of particular muscle groups (legs and glutes, arms & chest, etc.). But I’m not really too jazzed about bringing my DVD player to the gym – I feel that would be like bringing my own personal trainer onto the gym trainers’ turf. It just doesn’t seem too “nice” – rather rude, in fact. Like bringing a bagged lunch to a restaurant and eating it there. So I will have to be doing this at home or in my office since I am not willing to shell out for personal training at this time. (Not that I have any thing against personal trainers – after all, it was through my former personal trainer that JD and I became re-acquainted!)

I will switch to DVD for now, and come back to the “Bible” once I am more re-acquainted with the exercises and the strength training is firmly established in my routine. There’s nothing like an exercise video to get the job done and do the thinking for you. 😉

My first strength-training goal – to be able to do a set of 12 full, on-the-toes, manly-man-type push-ups. Not going to happen soon, but it will happen! You read it here first. 🙂

Next week: I’ll be taking my measurements again after my weigh-in. (I plan to do this every 4 weeks – another measure of progress, perhaps even a better one than the scale.)

Holland Trip – May 2011

On June 19, 2011April 2, 2015 By The Widow BadassIn See the Beauty3 Comments

Time at last to publish some photos of the trip I took last month to Holland, with my daughter and my mom. The purpose of the trip was many fold: spend time with, and introduce my daughter to her heritage, celebrate my mom’s 75th birthday and the successful end of her recent bout of chemotherapy, re-connect with my extended family (aunts, uncle and cousins), and just take a break from everyday life, of course!

(JD couldn’t make it this time due to work constraints, but we are looking forward to a trip to Holland together, hopefully in the not-too-distant future).

Because of space restrictions, Mizz J and I stayed with Peter and Adel in Amsterdam, and Mom stayed with her sister, my Tante Julia, in Haarlem. Even though we were apart, we did spend many days together visiting with family as the two cities are only a 20 minute train or car ride away from each other.

We did the tourist things, natuurlijk (naturally)…

Old style windmills (still around and some still working)…and now new style windmills, much more abundant and definitely working:

Statue of Hans Brinker, Spaarndam. Note Hans has his whole hand in the dink, not just a finger. — Statue of Hans Brinker, Spaarndam.

Statue symbolic of the struggle of the Dutch to reclaim (and maintain) their land from the water. Note: Hans has his whole hand, not just his thumb, in the dyke.

View of Haarlem and Grote Kerk from Vroom & Dreesman (Dutch department store chain)

P1050929 — Overlooking Het Strand (The Beach) at Zandvoort

Mizz J photographing the shells in the surf, Zandvoort

P1050982 — Afsluitdijk, North Sea on one side, Ijsselmeer on the other

Dutch engineering, transforming land and water, 1933

And we really enjoyed being together with family and experiencing Dutch culture and everyday life.

Our gracious hosts, Cousin Peter and his lovely wife, Adel

Peter and Adel live in an airy, bright, spacious apartment in Amsterdam overlooking a canal. They couldn’t have made us feel more welcome and we loved staying with them. Adel treated us to delicious Indonesian home cooking and Peter spoiled us with a dish made of white asparagus with ham, eggs and smoked salmon – a more typical Dutch meal for this time of year.

Cousin Ton and Tante Julia, enjoying country living at Ton and Helen's in beautiful Breezand — Cousin Ton and Tante Julia, enjoying country living at Ton and Helen’s in beautiful Breezand

My cousin Helen and her husband Ton took a big risk a couple of years ago and moved from the city to the country, in order for Ton to set up his own business. Ton is a mechanical genius and of course, his business has become a success. They love their new life and what’s not to love? Peaceful, beautiful Dutch country village living!

Canal in front of Ton and Helen's, Breezand — Canal in front of Ton and Helen’s, Breezand

Tante Tineke and Oom Roel's gorgeous tuin (backyard) in Driehuis — Tante Tineke and Oom Roel’s gorgeous tuin (backyard) in Driehuis

Mom enjoying a herring on the Cronje Straat, Haarlem

Oom Nan, far right, singing with the Zandvoort Mannen Choir

Each of my aunts,and my uncle too, belong to some kind of singing group, and perform regularly. There’s talent in the family, that’s for sure. I think that is pretty cool.

Oom Nan, Tante Tineke, Mom and Tante Julia (Helen and Ton cutting up in the background) Mom's 75th Birthday Celebration @ Tante Julia's beautiful place in Haarlem — Oom Nan, Tante Tineke, Mom and Tante Julia (Helen and Ton cutting up in the background) Mom’s 75th Birthday Celebration @ Tante Julia’s beautiful place in Haarlem

How do you find your own bike in a pile like this? Outside of train station, Haarlem (and many more bikes behind me)

Flower fields, flowers cut off to allow energy to be put into bulbs - Notice how flat the land is — Flower fields, flowers cut off to allow energy to be put into bulbs – Notice how flat the land is

Typical street scene, Amsterdam...with Mizz J. Note the ubiquitous bikes. — Typical street scene, Amsterdam…with Mizz J. Note the ubiquitous bikes.

Another typical view of Amsterdam, city of canals

A lovely trip. Time spent with lovely people. Many happy memories and connections re-formed. Good times, good food. Heritage, culture, art, recreation and entertainment. Everything a vacation should be.

Cousin Peter and Mizz J, in front of Centraal Station (train station), Amsterdam

Project Me Update

On June 15, 2011 By The Widow BadassIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I really should be blogging about my recent trip to Holland and the ensuing reuniting with my far-flung relatives, and the even more recent reunion with my two sisters (also far-flung but still on the same continent as me), but those posts will take some time to put together as they are going to be picture-heavy.

And right now uploading pictures to the blog postings is more than my patience can handle, so it will have to wait until I am:

More rested
More interested in learning how to do this in WordPress without pulling my hair out as I try to figure out the best way (upload them all first, or write post first…hmmmm?)
More patient (not my strong suit, but I can dream, can’t I?)
Less inclined to suffer shoulder and neck pain from too much time spent in front of the computer. I see the chiro tomorrow night so that should help a bit. I live mostly in my mind as opposed to my body, so if it hurts enough for me to notice it, I am in a lot of pain.

Anywho….

I’ve been seeing a naturopath since I am not getting anywhere with my family doc in figuring out why I am so tired and in a state I call “brain fog” most of the time. Perimenopause, malfunctioning thyroid, anemia….all possible suspects. I had my blood tested for all manner of things in April and the doc proclaimed my results were “perfect”, so apparently there is nothing left to be done, according to modern medicine. Great doc, so why do I still feel like crap a lot of the time? Hmmmm?

I looked at these same results and saw my TSH levels were still high, according to newer thinking by medical professionals….although my doc says she can’t prescribe anything till my results get a tiny bit higher. So what do I do in the meantime, suffer? Hell no, I shall do my own research and be my own doc, says I.

And so I did. I learned an awful lot about hormones. And not just the female/male kind either. Adrenal and thyroid as well. And how all 3 (adrenal, thyroid and sex) glands work together to keep things running tickety-boom in our bodies. And how if one is out of whack, it puts extra pressure on the other two to perform and can burn them out too. And mostly I learned that I am quite possibly a hormonal hot mess.

During this time, JD cut an article out of the paper about a visiting speaker, Lorna VanderHaeghe, who just happened to be coming to the Village Hotel to talk about….Hormones. Mizzus J and I went to hear Ms. V, despite my initial skepticism/cynicism upon researching her online, that she was the modern day equivalent of a snake oil salesman. I was pleasantly surprised to find that she was warm, sincere, and made a lot of sense. So Mizzus J and I walked out of the seminar with several bottles of her products. I tried the Ironsmart drink – it really does taste like a Werther’s candy, which is a welcome relief after Floradix – a great product that tastes yucky. I also started taking Estrosmart, and after a couple of weeks of this regimen I noticed something quite amazing. I had gone from experiencing 15-20 hot flashes a day to ZERO. Yes, my hot flashes are gone.

And I actually am feeling a bit better. But not 100% yet so the naturopath has given me a little bottle of pills that contains actual ground up porcine thyroid in it. It may be a bit soon to tell, but I think it is working.

Among the other things Dr. Dao did during her 90 minute (!!!!) initial exam (just try to get a “regular” Dr. to spend 90 minutes with you, without having to resort to having a medical emergency in the exam room), was an in-depth lifestyle interview. She also performed a body composition analysis. After my trip to Holland, I saw her again – and again, a body composition analysis was done. I was pleased to find out that:

My weight stayed the same, despite enjoying many, many Dutch goodies. Stroopwafels, I am looking at you. For example. One of many. 😉
I had actually lost 1 pound of fat and gained 1 pound of muscle, due no doubt to all the walking that was done while in Holland.

This has inspired me to see how much more fat I can lose and muscle I can gain before I see Barbara again, for another body composition analysis.

I have taken a long, hard and realistic look at one of the things I was hoping to accomplish this summer – signing up for, and training for another half-marathon. Ain’t gonna happen. Not this summer. Not ready for it.

This summer I am going to do the smart thing instead, and redo my Couch-to-5K running regime. I am also going back to weight training, as with my running program, as a beginner (yet again). I am starting off by following the workout plans in The Body Sculpting Bible for Women, a really great book on the subject I picked up recently.

Progress so far: on week 3 of C25K and really enjoying it. On week 2 of “The Bible’s” Break-In Routine #1, not minding that at all either.

I am also logging my food and exercise at My Fitness Pal.com, a website I really enjoying using (and it’s all free!).

I’m feeling good about the changes I am making, and I think the changes I am making are making me feel good too!

I’ll keep you posted.

Welcome to my new home….and about the new name…..

On June 3, 2011 By The Widow BadassIn Uncategorized5 Comments

Hello Subscribers and Internet Surfers!

How do you like my new place?

The old place (The Next Year of My Life) was a very comfortable and cozy home, but I felt it was time to stop…ahem…”renting” (not really – it’s free but I think you get my drift) from Blogger, and “buy” my own place (really – I am the proud and happy owner of my first domain name.) The irony of the above statement is not lost on me: now I am truly a renter, of hosted space on the Internet for my new home.

Those of you who know Dutch probably know what Hete Bliksem is and those of you who don’t know Dutch are probably wondering how to pronounce it and what the heck it is.

What it sounds like: “HATE-uh BLIK-sem”. Say it out loud. There. You spoke Dutch, and no phlegm was required. (If you’ve ever tried to speak it, or know someone who does, I hope you are laughing at this point.)

What it means: Hot Lightning or Hot Flash of Lightning. Not sure which translation is the most accurate and really, does it matter?

What it is: a hot dish made of mashed potatoes and cooked apples, with some kind of smoked pork product (like bacon) thrown in for extra tastiness! I’ve been told the name comes from the fact that the dish stays hot for a very long time. Recipes abound in many variations on This Very Internet. Google it!

What possessed me to choose this name for the blog:

It’s Dutch.
It’s a hot dish of tasty comfort food * – these are good qualities for a blog!
I just came back from a trip to Holland to visit family, and having All Things Dutch on the brain, purchased a Dutch cookbook (Let’s Go Dutch, by fellow Canuck Johanna van der Zeijst Bates). I saw the recipe in the book, and the rest is history.
I could have called it Blote Billetjes in Het Groen (another recipe from the book), but “Bare Little Bums in the Grass” might send the wrong kind of traffic to my site, if you know what I mean. (What IS IT with these Dutch recipe names?!?!)
I like watching lightning, from a safe, dry place of course.
I am in the “Hot Flash” time of my life, though I am currently no longer experiencing them thanks to a herbal remedy I am taking.
I think it’s a cool name. Did I mention it was Dutch?

*Nope, can’t recall ever eating it and I’ve certainly never made it. But every Dutch person I have talked to about this perks up at the mention and tells me it’s delicious. So now I just have to make it in the fall when the weather is right for this type of dish.

So here it is…Casa Hete Bliksem. Come on in and make yourself comfortable. Hope you like it here as much as I do!

Update on the Name (June 19/2011):

My cousin Peter informs me that Hete Bliksem is also a slang term for a “hottie”, an attractive woman who’s got it goin’ on. This usage is news to me and didn’t turn up on the internet when I was researching the name. Don’t feel it applies to me and don’t really need it to…but maybe someday, if I get my mojo back…50+ mojo??? One can dream, I suppose. 🙂

Hurting

On April 8, 2011 By The Widow BadassIn Hmmm?4 Comments

JD’s Auntie Hazel passed away last night. And, unknowingly, JD and I visited with her just before she died.

We arrived at the hospital just before visiting hours ended. We had been trying to pay our respects to an acquaintance who lost his brother, but the receiving line at the funeral home was so long, we left so as not to miss a visit with Auntie Hazel, who was recovering from surgery from the broken hip she suffered on Sunday. We are so thankful now that we did this.

When we entered her room and greeted the departing, exhausted immediate family members, we were shocked to see how much she had deteriorated from our visit the day before. The day before she had been so bright and lively with good colour, and was quick to demonstrate how she was able to do all of her rehabilitating exercises – moving her legs and arms, and rotating her feet. An unsettling thought went through my mind at the time: “a candle burns brightest just before going out”, but I quickly pushed it away.

Yesterday a whole ‘nother Auntie Hazel greeted us. She was uncomfortable and restless. I asked her repeatedly if she wanted me to get the nurse but the answer was always no. As visiting hours ended, I disobeyed her and went to the nursing station to get them to check in on her and investigate her discomfort. Then JD went back to her room to let her know a nurse was coming and away we went after kisses and proclamations of love.

A few errands later, we arrived home just as the phone was ringing – JD’s dad calling to tell us the sad news that his sister had passed away. We were shocked. I was overcome with guilt – why hadn’t I been more forceful, both with Auntie Hazel and the nurses. Why hadn’t we risked a scolding and stayed beyond the visiting hours, to make sure she was looked after properly?

Today I researched signs of dying to see what we had possibly missed. What I learned actually gave me more comfort than I had thought it would. What we didn’t realize, was that Auntie Hazel had been showing signs of dying for days already, perhaps the process had started even before she broke her hip. I think the hospital staff knew this, as she had been moved to a private room the 2nd day after her surgery (another little “uh-oh” thought that I had at the time, but also quickly pushed away).

She had no appetite, she was having trouble swallowing, she had that burst of energy and liveliness the day before…perhaps there really had been nothing we could have done. Perhaps the last natural process of each life had begun and couldn’t, wouldn’t be halted. I try to take comfort from that.

Auntie Hazel would have turned 88 later on this month. She was a truly great lady and an inspiration to me on how to grow old. She was an avid and talented oil painter, a long-time member of the choral group: the Sweet Adelines, a homemaker, a gifted writer, and that all-too-rare someone who really believed in AND exhibited Christian values. She really walked the talk of compassion and kindness and love. I have never met anyone more humble than she. Auntie Hazel saw the absolute best in everyone, and, in the nine years I was lucky to know her I never heard her complain about her circumstances (not always great) or speak ill of anyone she knew.

These characteristics meant that more than a few people commented negatively on her “rose-coloured glasses” approach to life. Auntie Hazel chose to focus on the cup half full rather than half empty. She chose to focus on the good bits in everyone she met, rather than the faults. She believed in the power of love and family and thus was rich in both.

A brilliant mind, Auntie Hazel had to leave her beloved school by grade eight to keep house and raise her younger siblings when her mother had to go to work. (Her brother – JD’s dad – also left school and got a work permit at the tender age of 11 to keep the family going, when their alcoholic father was kicked out of the family.)

After a somewhat Dickensian childhood, she fell in love and married, and she and her husband Jack spent 11 years sleeping on a pull-out couch in their living room so her mother could have one bedroom and the kids the other in their tiny war-time home (the same home she left on her final journey to the hospital this past Sunday).

And still later she spent many years nursing her beloved “Jackie” through his final illness, learning to feed him through a tube and ensuring his comfort at all times.

These things I learned, not through any complaining on her part, but through her simple story-telling, describing her life and its “happy” memories. For she really did have so many happy memories, as that was always her focus, her choice.

I am the better person for knowing this extraordinary woman.

I try to comfort myself in thinking that Uncle Jack was waiting in her hospital room last night, waiting for all of their kids to gather to say goodbye (and they did all make it there in time, amazingly), so he could gaze on them gathered together once again, and then finally bring his Hazel home.

Spring is finally here?

On April 2, 2011 By The Widow BadassIn Uncategorized1 Comment

Mizz Lucy, before

Spring IS here, as evidenced by the change in Mizz L’s appearance.

Mizz Lucy, after

My little puppy is now 11 years old and still spry and active as ever. I hope to have her as my running coach again this summer because……

….I’m getting the fever to start running again….I already have a fall half-marathon race picked out:

Currently on week 2 of a Couch to 5K running plan to get back into form enough to start training later this spring…Wish me luck!

What I have been doing instead of blogging…

On February 18, 2011 By The Widow BadassIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Ahhh me. I suppose the correct answer is living my life. But that might not be quite correct, if by living life you mean doing a lot of enjoyable and exciting things.

But it hasn’t been all that bad either. I am working away at my 2011 goals, and although I am not making progress as quickly as I would like, I am making progress.

Still aiming towards that MBA program starting next fall…however I made a major shift in the way I want to do it. Instead of attending a “bricks and mortar” school part-time in the evenings, I have decided to apply to an online MBA program. It’s even more highly regarded than the bricks and mortar program, and I will be in class with other students with similar background to me in terms of managerial experience. (And I don’t have to write the GMAT for this one either – WOOO HOOOOO….er…I mean, that’s cool…ahem.)

Still trying to live a healthier lifestyle too, and incorporate more physical fitness into my daily life. That is proving to be quite challenging, especially since we are having such bitter temperatures this winter, and my inner diva just wants to curl up under the blankets and nap and eat carbs all day!

So I keep trying, and keep trying new stuff. My latest thing is to have my little personal DVD player set up in my office at work, so I can follow some 10 minute strength workouts during my lunch or after work before I go home. Ten minutes might not sound like much, but if you are 100% focused on the exercise it’s worth much more than 20 minutes of half-a**ed lifting at the gym, while chatting to someone or watching TV.

My focus on creating and maintaining a healthier lifestyle is such that I have come up with an idea for a new blog that I hope to set up within the next couple of months. This has stopped me from more regular blogging here, funnily enough. I get an idea for something I want to write about, and then think – hey, that would be great for the new blog! So, since the new blog is just a gleam in my eye at this point, I do nothing. Hmph.

I’ve also been stretching myself somewhat. I did something I’ve never done before. I entered a recipe into a contest. I saw on the Eat -Clean Diet website (my new role model, Tosca Reno’s website) a promotion for the “Good Morning Eat-Clean Diet Contest”, asking for breakfast recipes. So I submitted the recipe I created for making a mixed whole grain porridge with fruit in my rice cooker. And today I found out I won!!!! By next week I will be receiving an autographed (by Tosca Reno herself!!!!) copy of her Eat-Clean Diet Cookbook. Swoon.