First of all, for making it hard (if not impossible) for people to comment.
Secondly – and this is new – now you are making it damn hard to post pictures. Correction: it is still easy to post pictures. It is hard to post pictures that haven’t been cropped by you dear Bloggie, such that people’s heads and more are missing.
I’m going to have to change my blogs’ theme again, or maybe learn some damn code so I can try to address all these problems I have been having with YOU lately.
In the meantime, I am doing other, easier shit with my free time than get my blood pressure up trying to figure out what the hell went wrong with you, Blog.
Today Mizz J and I went to the Big Smoke to see the Georgia O’Keeffe exhibition at the Art Gallery of Ontario. Picture taking was verboten but here (fingers crossed) is a picture of the art book I purchased afterwards, at ye olde gift shoppe:
Most of my picture of the book I bought. GRRRR!
Once again, dear Bloggie, you have taken it upon yourself to crop my picture even further than I had done so before I uploaded it. ARGH.
Anyways, I am not going to spend any more time on this.
What I really want to say about this exhibit is that I LOVED getting up close and personal with the paintings. I generally always do but today especially so. And here’s why.
I saw the artist’s pencil sketching on the canvas that didn’t get completely covered up the layers of paint applied (Red Poppies). I saw the tiny triangle of bare canvas in the painting where the artist didn’t quite fill in the design (Jimson Flower) where 2 colours met. I saw where the artist tried to refine the edge of the stem by painting a lighter colour over dark green and the green of the oopsie was still apparent underneath (Cala Lily).
It was wonderful to see all the little errors because it gives me freedom and permission to not be perfect either. If it’s good enough for Georgia O’Keeffe and the entire art world, well….
Hello, Yellow Lady’s SlippersHello, Dog VioletHello, MayappleHello, last of the TrilliumsHello, ButtercupsHello, TeaselHello, fresh new FernHello, favourite tree trunkHello, CeladineHello, FrogIt’s a great day to be alive, doncha think?
I was up with the sun every morning, walking the beach and boardwalk.
Bajan Sunrise on the South CoastMorning GloryBajan sunrise through the palm frondsMoody morning shotPottery wall behind Blakey’s On The Boardwalk.Street Mural just off the Boardwalk near the pottery wall. Looks like the artist was inspired by it.Sea Turtle trail in the sand (and nest)Bougainvillea on the BoardwalkGorgeous wall and steps along the BoardwalkOne of the friends I met along the wayShy crab scuttling awayAnother crabby friendBoardwalk ended, walking back to the hotel for breakfast and a snorkel
We did an island tour one day – to see the wild, eastern coast of Barbados.
Looking down on the eastern coast from Cherry Tree Hill. Our guide explained the haze as dust blowing across the Atlantic from the Sahara desert.Big rocks at BathshebaBarbados – rugged East CoastSalt spray-ravaged St. John’s ChurchHistorical St. John’s Church, Barbados
Sunsets were also a good time to be strolling on the beach. Usually on the way to dinner at one of the many great restaurants near us.
Sun setting in beautiful BarbadosAnother fine day slips into nightTypical Bajan sunset on the South Coast
My beautiful country turns 150 years old this year. I have been wondering what I could do in this special year to celebrate/commemorate the milestone. I was around when Canada turned 100, though at age 7 there wasn’t a whole lot I remember about it, other than that catchy Bobby Gimby song.
And Expo 67, in Montreal. Not that I visited but boy, we sure heard about it in school. I recall there was a mobile unit that toured the country’s schools, giving us a mini-version of it along with other Centennial stuff.
I’m not likely to be around for Canada turning 200. Or if I am, I’ll be too damn old to do much more than watch others celebrate.
SO THIS IS IT, WB. NOW WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?
I once had a baby on Canada Day – the lovely Mizz J – but I can’t keep dragging that up as my commitment to/celebration of this country all these years later. Or can I? Hmmmm…
I could have been drinking beer and watching fireworks like everyone else, you know.
I have been stewing away on this for about a month now. Then this morning I heard a DJ on my local (rock, what else?) station mention that Parks Canada was handing out free passes to all National Parks to celebrate the sesquicentennial. EUREKA! Maybe I could visit all the National Parks in my province of Ontario as at least one way of me celebrating Canada 150?
I hopped on Ye Olde Interwebs and quickly ordered my pass from the Parks Canada site. Then I checked out which National Parks were located in Ontario.
Only 6 – 5 within an easy day’s drive (or less) of my usual stomping grounds – totally doable, amiright?
OK, OK – so not exactly the stretchiest goal I’ve ever committed to, but that’s not what I am trying to do here. Part of me thinks it would be so cool to hit every National Park in Canada this year, but that objective is not realistic for this (still) working woman.
I think I’ve only ever been to one – maybe two – of these Ontario parks so far in my life. For shame, for shame! Shit, I realize I have probably been to more National Parks outside of Ontario than in it.
I’ve been very close to some of them, driven by others…but actually making a point of visiting the ones in my own province? Nope.
Merry Christmas ya filthy animal dear olde savings and loan blogge!
Oh my, it has been a fun coupla days around Chez Badass – thanks to birthing new traditions, my kids, sparkling cider and help from my badass cousins overseas!
Before I begin this tale, let me fill you in on the origin of the Seashell Jesus, whose picture shall grace this blog in mere moments.
Remember when I told you about cleaning up the hoard and shared a picture of the outdoor storage area? Well, one of the only items that survived the purge of that space was a very colourful, homemade-looking old-schooly picture of Jesus, adorned with seashells. I have no idea of the provenance of this picture – it could have even belonged to one of the many tenants that abandoned their junk belongings on the property – but I just couldn’t find it in me to fling it into the dumpster (#4 or 5, can’t remember which). So Seashell Jesus, as he came to be known, ended up hanging in my old kitchen for about a year.
When it came time to renovate the kitchen, Seashell Jesus survived yet another purge and ended up in a box of other wall “art”, in the boiler room of my building. Until Christmas Eve 2016, that is.
I had planned for weeks already to try a new tradition for my family. The Dutch meal of “gourmetten.” In researching how to pull this off, I came across the following article – Gourmetten” A “gezellige” evening of classic Dutch diningVery funny and tongue-in-cheek. The author claims that Jesus and his disciples actually “gourmetted” the last supper and there is a picture in the article to prove it. When I told my daughter Mizz J about this, she said Seashell Jesus needed to be part of our Christmas Eve meal. So up from the basement he rose…
Seashell Jesus oversees the abundance of food to be grilled.
Like a good guest, Seashell Jesus also offered something to grill.
When I shared these photos on Facebook to my Dutch cousins, they were not to be outdone.
Jesus (and family!) does gourmetten in Amsterdam on Christmas Day.
Virtual Jesus shows up at my other cousins’ in Breezand.
Suffice it to say, much Facebook merry was made over Jesus being sent on to our various homes to partake of gourmetten.
Meanwhile, in real life, our meal was fantastic.
Let the grilling begin!
Even after all that food there was still room for dessert, obviously.
Before the food coma took a full hold, we cleaned up supper and then got artsy-crafty with it.
Using glitter glue and acrylic paint to make ornaments.
Continuing the creativity on Christmas morning. Glitter glue is mostly dry, so time to pour in the acrylic paint.
After a relaxing day spent on the couch (mostly), Christmas dinner was a clean-out-the-fridge stir fry – liberally doused with left-over satay sauce and served over rice. “Sooooo gooooood”, to borrow a phrase from my Amsterdam cousin.
The world lost my badass momma one year ago today.
She had been diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma about 15 years before. Most of the 15 ensuing years were high quality. Mom experienced several remissions and used that time to enjoy life to the fullest with her second husband, who she met at a grief class about a year after Dad died. They travelled and camped, and generally enjoyed retired life together.
But eventually the cancer came back with a vengeance and Mom got sicker and sicker.
In the summer of 2015 the doctor advised that we move up the date of my sister’s wedding and host it closer to home, to ensure Mom could attend.
My sister and her new wife flanking Mom and Stepdad on their wedding day. Mom had lost her hair again due to the latest (and last) round of chemotherapy.
So I volunteered to host the wedding at my building and what a joyous occasion it was!
Shortly after this Mom made the decision to not proceed with any more chemotherapy. She had had enough, and it was only making her sicker at this point anyway.
Soon she was too ill for her husband to manage so I offered for her to come to stay with me. My newlywed sister made arrangements to take compassionate leave, to be with Mom while I worked and did homework (yes, I was still plugging away at my MBA that fall). And my far flung sister was ready to board a plane and come as soon as she was called, which was a short while later.
All parties agreed to the new plan for Mom and thus we made it happen. A stair lift was installed so Mom could get into and out of my second-floor abode, and we transferred her medical care to my city. Bedding arrangements (and bedrooms) were created to accommodate everyone.
Mom worried about getting into hospice care in a new city. This was something she was considering when living with my stepdad. When I asked if she really wanted to go to hospice when the time came the truthful answer was no. I told her she didn’t ever have to go there – she could die at her new home, my place. She said she would like that, so that is how we proceeded.
The sisters and Mom – the care team
Granddaughter Mizz J and her Oma – also part of the care team
What a wonderful, awful fall that was – the fall of 2015. The fall of our mom’s dying. Mom had a typical Dutch practical attitude about her impending death. It didn’t bother her and she didn’t want to be a bother to anybody else. She hoped her death happened at a “convenient” time for everyone, so as not to interfere with any Christmas or vacation plans. We joked a lot with her about these wishes. It was freeing for Mom to be able to speak and joke about her dying with us. It was not something her husband could bear to hear, understandably so.
Mom’s sister, My Tante T asked to come over from the Netherlands for a last visit with her sister. This visit was welcomed by all, especially Mom of course.
Mom and her sister
We took the ladies out shopping. Mom had an ultralight collapsible wheelchair at this point which made it possible for her to get out more easily. They had a lot of fun looking for cute clothes at the local mall. This was tiring but also joyful for Mom. She loved getting out while still able, and picked up a couple of pretty tops to wear for hospital appointments and when receiving visitors.
I had bought tickets to take Mom to see a live performance of the Jersey Boys many months back, and we were able to get an extra ticket for her sister at the last moment. Seating had to be changed to accommodate the wheelchair. Tante T also had to change her flight so she could attend the show. A lot of changes but we were so glad it all came together. Mom had wanted to see this show for many, many years.
With a good friend, Mom and Tante at Jersey Boys – waiting for the show to begin
Tante T went backstage at intermission and somehow convinced the Jersey Boys cast to come out to say hi to Mom after the performance. What a woman!
Mom with Jersey Boys cast
During all this time, Stepdad faithfully visited his wife every day.
We treated Mom to pedicures and massages and accompanied her to her cancer clinic appointments. We tried to tempt her with all her favourite foods but her once hearty appetite was quite diminished. Palliative care nurses and personal workers visited many times and provided Mom with a hospital bed and special equipment to assist with bathing. Spiritual care was provided as well, at Mom’s request. We were trained to give Mom her medication intravenously, as the end drew near and her discomfort increased.
Mom loved having visitors and all were welcome to come whenever they wanted to see her.
Death and dying are not easy for anybody. By the 17th of December we were all exhausted as Mom was very restless, day and night. A night nurse was brought in to allow us some shuteye. Mom passed away in the wee hours of the 18th, partway through his shift. We were all at her bedside when it happened.
I was grateful for all of the resources and comforts provided to Mom, and for so many visits from friends and family. It was a blessing to be able to keep her at home as she wanted.
Last picture of Mom and me. Taken ~2.5 days before the end. Mom lost the ability to communicate soon after this photo was taken. Notice the pink polka dotted sheets. Mom wanted to die on pink sheets, she remarked with a smile. What a badass. Wish granted.
My favourite memory of this time is of being called into Mom’s bedroom one night by my sister. Mom was crying and wanted to talk to me. I asked her why she was crying and she said, “I am so happy and I can’t stop crying. It is wonderful to be here surrounded by my family. I feel so completely loved, like I have never felt in my whole life. I’m not crying because I am sad or afraid to be dying. I’m crying from happiness.”
I think of that night almost daily. If there is a way to “do” death and dying correctly, I think that as we came together as a family during that horrible, wonderful fall of 2015, we just might have nailed it.
Today’s NaBloPoMo prompt is “What was your most precious possession when you were a kid?”
That reminded me of something that – while not exactly qualifying as a precious possession to me then (although it is one now) – certainly captivated me as a kid and started a little obsession that is still going strong today: dragonflies.
Last week I had a little person (and parents) visit me at my place. Dad pointed out the dragonfly symbol to be found all over the house, and encourage the young man to seek them out in all the rooms. Then came the inevitable question: “Why do you like dragonflies so much?”
Well, here is how it all began:
Oma’s dragonfly tea spoon
When I was 2 years old, my mother took me to the Netherlands to show me (off) to all the relatives, being the first grandchild in the family and all. To keep me amused, my grandmother (Oma) let me play with her teaspoons and apparently I became especially enamoured of the one with the dragonfly on the handle. So much so, that it was given to me. And I still have it to this day.
I don’t know for sure the origin of this spoon. I do know that there was (and still is) a women’s magazine in the Netherlands called Libelle. Which is the Dutch word for dragonfly.
Stamping on back of spoon
I think this may have been a promotional item for the magazine but have no way of knowing for sure as both Oma and Mom are gone now.
Since that time I’ve had a fascination with dragonflies. Across the street from my childhood farmhouse home was a pond and some abandoned fields. As kids, my sisters and I spent hours playing there – exploring the ruined foundations of old buildings and chasing tadpoles, frogs and bugs, including dragonflies and damselflies.
When I got older, dragonflies came to represent various things to me – creativity, adaptability and transformation/rebirth. Dragonfly nymphs start out living under water and only leave the water to become the flying adult form. Quite the change of venue and form! I’ve had to start my life over a couple of times already so transformation resonates with me.
In some native cultures, dragonflies represent the souls of the departed.
People that care for me love to gift me with items that include a dragonfly motif. I happily accept these and as a result, I have many, many dragonflies everywhere in my home and my life.
I’m not sure if this means the dragonfly is my spirit animal…but hey, a girl could do worse.
I picked up the tickets tonight for the winter get-away Mizz CJ and I have planned, in Barbados. Wheee!
This is a special trip to commemorate our being friends for 50 years. We met in Grade 2, you see.
My daughter Mizz J and I had such a lovely time there in January of this year that I resolved to try my best to make an annual getaway to somewhere warm – if not Barbados, then somewhere that didn’t need a coat, boots and mittens – every winter from now on.
When Mizz CJ heard about our trip she thought it would be perfect to celebrate our milestone there, in 2017. Of course I agreed!
We have a week booked at a small family-run hotel on the beach in Hastings.
Looking forward to those early morning ocean dips and laying under a palm tree devouring a good novel while ocean breezes play with my hair.
I have the Bridgetown weather (along with Amsterdam’s and that of my area) displayed every time I go to the Weather Network webpage. It is 30°C there. Every. Damn. Day.
Last week, on one day it read 28°C. I almost fell off of my chair when I saw it. I wonder if the Bajans grab for their sweaters when the temperature dips down like that.
I had a feeling that June was gonna be a bit crazy and it did not disappoint.
First there was the wedding of the son of a good friend, which was delightful and took place on one of those perfect June days that make it such a popular month for nuptials.
Then there was prepping for renovations AND for leaving for Edmonton for my Convocation:
Accepting MBA degrees for both myself and JD.
It was emotionally draining, to say the least. But I was glad I did so that JD got his recognition. He received a spontaneous standing ovation and many eyes were filled with tears. The dean broke down several times while reading the short biography I prepared about JD. Afterwards so many strangers approached me to say how touched and inspired they were, and to offer me a hug.
After the ceremony, with JD’s hood draped over my arm.
Meanwhile, back at Chez Badass floors were being sanded down and refinished! I came back home on a Sunday evening to my planned interior and exterior renovations in full swing.
There was nothing to do but put up with the disruption and hit the trails. Almost every night that week I was at the Dundas Conservation Area for the annual 4 Day-Evening Walk (a Dutch tradition brought home to Canada):
Walkers ahead of me got their Dutch on, wearing orange (official colour of the walk) for the Dutch royal family (House of Orange).
Four 5 km walks earned me my Year 5 participation medal.
Renovation work continued, both inside and out.
Painting the trim around the building.New entrance doors, just installed…and new exterior lighting (LED).
Another escape from all the dust and debris and flaking paint, onto the Speed River:
Kayak parking only…hehehe.Back to Black BridgeBreakfast on the water. A grain-free Morning Glory muffin.Wish Floyd came with a cup holder. Don’t possess a thigh gap really – more of a tea gap 😉
When indoors, I have been working away at the Badass Budget and have set up another automatic savings account (Emergency Bucks) as a result, and in addition to my pre-existing Travel Bucks account. Lest I fritter away all my discretionary cash on stuff like these lovely Fluevogs:
Is this truly the last pair of shoes I will buy in 2016? Check back with me after my upcoming trip to the Netherlands.
And I have placed myself on a shoe moratorium for the remainder of 2016, after having to find new homes for my clothing and shoes during the apartment renovation. I’m not approaching Imelda Marcos territory with respect to shoe collecting but damn…I realized I do have many pairs….and many pairs I cannot or will not wear any longer. So I did a bit of purging in June also.
So badass yet so practical. Yes, those are skulls on the buckle.
And finally, on the last day of June, my dining room dreams came true as I took delivery of the table I had custom-made, from reclaimed threshing mill floor planks (hemlock):
Renovate room and acquire dining room furniture: check!
A bit of mixed feelings on this one, as this room was last in regular use as my mom’s bedroom. But I know she would be very happy that I have a table again at last, for everyone to sit down at.
Party ready for my Canada Day baby’s birthday on the 1st.
Hope everyone had a lovely June and has an exciting July on deck!
The return of decent weather means it’s time to get the patio functional again.
I made a few improvements this year – namely a rug, and a set of lights. But basically it is the same patio set and sun shade I have been enjoying since 2014.
Sorry I couldn’t capture the lights perfectly. I don’t have the skillz.Nor the camera.Still, I think you get the idea that this is one of my favourite hangouts in the warm weather.
I was hoping to be able to afford a real railing this year but unfortunately I have other projects at Chez Moneypit that are taking precedence.
So no little ones, no pets, no dancing, no drinking to excess on the Badass Patio…yet again. Sigh.
Other than that, you are welcome to enjoy the patio with me.
