March Update on WOTY – Alignment

On March 2, 2020March 2, 2020 By Widow BadassIn Goals & Dreams, Hmmm?, Home Improvement, Retirement, WOTY50 Comments

Ugh. I continue to crawl back towards good health. I actually got outside yesterday (only 3rd time since I got home 11 days ago from Barbados) and was able to reach (and exceed) 10,000 steps for the first time since…uh, let’s see (checks journal)…FEBRUARY 22?! You know, getting ill every once in a while does have its advantage…you realize how amazing good health and full energy really is, and it reinforces how important it is to do the daily “maintenance” on your corporeal being to ensure more healthy days than not, going forward. Not that good health is ever guaranteed mind you (shit happens despite what WE want), but there is still plenty we CAN do to give us a fighting chance by making sure our bodies are fueled properly, rested adequately, and moved daily – all in the name of health. Good health is like a good relationship – it takes constant work and should not be taken for granted, especially as we age. Just some of the thoughts I’ve been having while being prostrated by this cold/flu thingy. Anywho…

I started drafting this post with the aim of publishing late January, but here we are. And not much has changed.

I’ve always leaned towards minimizing my environmental footprint. It’s just something that is important to me. Like working at keeping my personal good health, I want (in my own tiny way) to work towards the health of the planet. At the least: not damaging it by daily living anymore than I have to.

I have solar panels on my roof. I drive a plug-in hybrid car (my 3rd hybrid!) as minimally as possible. I support local business whenever I can and I walk to do errands most days. Recycling has been a passion project with me, from the beginning of it being offered in my community. I want to be buried au naturel in a biodegradable shroud in the ground, to nourish the vegetation growing above me. Etc.

Not exactly an eco-warrior but trying to do my bit…by bit.

My recycling centre. Organized according to my region’s specifics for recycling. Bins from IKEA.

Drone photo taken by the talented Mario Dabek, including a view of the snow-covered solar panels on the roof of my building (the corner one, with the clock).

Now that I’m retired though, I have the time and energy (OK – not right now for the energy, but soon!) to kick it up a notch. To come more into ALIGNMENT – my Word of the Year (WOTY) – with my values.

As I need to replace cleaning and personal care products, I am experimenting with more “natural”, less harmful and wasteful products. Actually, I have been using these types of options for years already: Before my 2003 hysterectomy I used a Diva cup. I use olive oil to cleanse my face at night (been doing this for 10+ years). I’ve been making my own body wash for the shower for at least 5 years. [Recipe: 1 part castile soap; 1 part liquid honey; 1 part olive oil. Mix together. That’s it!]

I’ve used Dr. Bronner’s castile soap for years but Sal Suds is new to me. So far, I love it!

Last month I made my own bathroom (with tea tree essential oil) and kitchen (with orange essential oil) cleaning sprays with Sal Suds and I am so impressed. I just now realized that my commercial bathroom cleaner was leaving a film that attracted dirt to my sink. I would clean my sink and by next use it was dull and spotted again. Not so with my Sal Suds mixture. Shiny, shiny! Even days later. And my black glass stove top? Gleaming! At pennies per liter spray bottle, I’m saving money too. WIN! I plan on using Sal Suds for more things as I run out of my current products. Supposed to be good for laundry too. Speaking of…

As I ran out of fabric softener, I replaced it with wool dryer balls instead (thank you Jeanette and Red Maple Homestead!). And they are working just fine! I don’t put a lot of wash in the dryer – I prefer to hang up to dry, whenever possible – but for what I do, it comes out nice and soft.

I’m out of plastic and foil wrap, and I have a replacement (along with the beeswax wraps I got from Red Maple). Behold:

Trying out these silicone lids, from Indigo.

Silicone lid in action. So far, so good!

I also found this cute little cup for car travel, while browsing at Indigo. I have numerous metal containers but I find them a bit awkward while driving. This one has a straw, making it easier for me to sip water from it while on the move.

And if you read my last post, you know by now that I have a mania for packing minimally and light. So the collapsible aspect of this cup delighted me thoroughly.

And, to wrap up this post, I am rethinking how I purchase clothing. Being retired now, my wardrobe needs are changing along with everything else. “Business casual” is now my “dressy”…hah! During a walk to do errands, I made a stop at Sail, an outdoor gear store near me. Just to browse, ya know? Well…

Last year I had picked up this t-shirt that I had just fallen in love with, at Sail.

The shirt that started it all. Change IS good, yeah! And purple, with a dragonfly image to boot. How could it not come home with me? 😉

It was $35, which is pretty pricey for a t-shirt, IMHO. I am used to picking up plain t-shirts for $10 at Joe Fresh. But then I got to thinking. Does my Joe Fresh t-shirt really cost only $10? I doubt I could sew one for $10. Hmmmm. And I don’t take as good care of my $10 t-shirts as I do my Life Is Good one, let me tell you that! At $10, if one gets stained, out it goes (or gets relegated to the chore/paint drawer) and I buy a replacement. My $35 shirt though? I willingly invest hours applying Oxi-clean (made into a paste) to get that damn stain out.

Anywho, I found 2 more Life Is Good shirts while browsing on this trip, and it got me to thinking about my clothing choices, the real cost of things, and so on and so on, down the rabbit hole of consumerism. After some mulling, I did end up buying them. My thinking is that I would rather have less clothes that I value more, and to take care of them better. And Life Is Good seems like a good company to support.

New Life Is Good t-shirts. Yes, I hang my t-shirts in the closet. Less wrinkly that way.

Going forward in 2020 and my new, retired life, these are some of the ways I am coming more into alignment with, and expressing my values. I’m going to explore this further. I would like to break my paper towel addiction for one, and start using cloth alternatives instead.

After my recent illness though, I don’t see me eliminating tissues and replacing them with hankies. There are not enough hankies in the world to keep up with the snot factory I have been of late. 😉

Baby steps.

How about you? Are you making changes in your life in alignment with your values? Do tell.

Rock your crunchy-granola self on,

The WB

And Then There Were Two…

On December 29, 2019December 29, 2019 By Widow BadassIn Blogging, Hmmm?, Retirement, See the Beauty52 Comments

Days left in this year and my career, that is! Holy cats, how did I get here so fast? It seemed like only yesterday I was starting out, working (at minimum wage) even before officially graduating with my sparkly Bachelor of Science degree, at my first full-time job.

As the sun sets on the year and my working life…Late December Sunset on the river that is a few steps from my home.

I was one of the lucky ones – actually working in my field, thanks to a part-time job in a lab I picked up while working on my undergrad…that morphed into a full-time position once my studies were ended. But enough reminiscing on that for now. Maybe I’ll do a retrospective (or two) on my working life at some point on ye olde blogge, but that’s not the focus for today.

Some of you may have noticed it’s been a while since my last post – 28 days, to be exact. Although I am not the most prolific of bloggers, I’ve been doing pretty well for the past couple of years, so this was a long hiatus for moi.

For 2 reasons, mainly.

Reason #1 – this last month of work has been waaaay more draining than I had anticipated. My successor took over officially on December 16th, and I’ve been very focused on giving her a smooth start (by performing some unpleasant tasks that needed doing, so she didn’t have to deal with them); and trying to organize/categorize/put into words all of the things that are the Lab Manager’s responsibility and that I have to deal with on any given day. Her comment on the first day of the job: “Wow, here I am dealing with at least 7 time-critical things at the same time.” Only 7? You’ll get used to it…hehehe!

I’ve been so involved with a successful handover that it’s infiltrating my dreams. A few days ago I woke up terribly tired because it seemed like all night I was going through my computer files in my sleep – finding an apparently vital statistics spreadsheet that I’d been keeping and needed to remember to share with the new Lab Manager. When I woke up, I couldn’t remember what this damned important file was all about so I figured my anxious brain just made it up for my dream.

The point is: I’ve been coming home exhausted and needing my free time to decompress, unwind and recover/restore myself for the next day/week.

Reason #2 – not feeling the Christmas at all this year. Could be related to Reason #1, but I don’t think so. I’ve fallen out of love with Christmas for many years and many reasons. But this season it was especially severe.

For the first year ever, I didn’t put up a tree. Even though I probably should have if only because it would have given me an opportunity to sort through my Christmas decor bin, prior to my mid-year move to the West Coast. No tree or other decor, no Christmas cards or letter to friends – no nothing.

So this kept me off the blog because who needs to listen to me rant about how I ~~was~~ am feeling like Christianity is the one of the biggest hammers in the Patriarchy toolbox and other such angelic thoughts as I have been having this month…HAH! Especially at one of the most celebratory times of the year, for most people, regardless of religious leaning. Consider it a public service that I’ve kept quiet. 😉

However, I have enjoyed living vicariously through other bloggers I follow as they posted about their Decembers, and their celebrations with family and friends, and tried to keep my bitter thoughts to myself. As one should.

I did take some time out to celebrate the winter solstice, despite everything else going on in my life and my mind. A reflective and solitary celebration of my gratitude for my life and for the natural world that hosts me – welcoming the longest night, and then the rising sun the next morning.

Welcoming back the light on December 22, from my kitchen window. The beginning of actual winter – the time of dreaming – and of beginning a new year and new life.

In closing this last post of mine for 2019, I’m going to take a moment to also thank YOU – all of the readers of ye olde blogge for being “here” for me. For taking the time to read and comment; for your encouragement and humour; for your insights and oh-so kind words. I do love this community so, and can’t wait to keep interacting with you all in the coming year when I will have much more time to do so!

Rock on,

The WB

2020: Alignment

On December 1, 2019December 1, 2019 By Widow BadassIn Artistic Endeavours, Hmmm?, Retirement64 Comments

Happy December everyone! I hope you have plenty of celebrations and family/friend time to look forward to, in this month of festivities.

For me the countdown to retirement is in its final push – work is busy as you can imagine, as I not only keep working away at my job, but also have to think and plan about handing it over to another. In 2 weeks my successor assumes my role, and I will spend my last 2 weeks educating her and making for a smooth handover. I feel just fantastic about all of this; my days are just flying by; people are saying nice things to me about me; I have absolutely no regrets or second thoughts about what I am doing.

From the countdown app on my phone, as I finish off this blog post…

I have been hearing about a couple of people I know, who will also be retiring shortly, that they seem to be struggling a bit with their decisions; backtracking and saying they want to continue to stay on and work part-time; seeming to be having trouble “letting go”. I don’t understand this, as they chose to retire – it was not asked of them, nor forced upon them in any way. These people are also men, and that may be part of the difference?

For me, work has always been something I do and never something I am. I would love to hear how others retirees felt as their work life ended – was it something you embraced wholeheartedly? Or did you have mixed emotions? Did you choose, or was it chosen for you?

The other thing I am most excited about (besides anticipating my new, retired life) is an online art journalling course I signed up for. A couple of years ago, I signed up for and wholeheartedly enjoyed a year-long course by the same artist, called Mandala Days. Julie Gibbons is an artist residing in Scotland who works primarily with mandalas. Please check out her website (linked, in her name) if interested!

In a few weeks (on December 21, the winter solstice), I will be beginning a new course of hers, called Mandala Magic: Alignment. This course again focuses on mandalas and art journalling, and tying the lessons into the 8 “seasons” – the solar cycle – of the ancient pagan wheel of the year. This is so up my alley, it isn’t even funny!

I love the word Alignment so much that it will be THE WORD for my life going forward into 2020. Yes, my word of the year! My big intention for 2020 (and beyond) is to bring my life better into Alignment with my values and my intentions for how I want to live, going forward. During the next few days, I am planning on drawing up a mind map using the word Alignment to further suss out what it means to me and how that will impact/guide/inform this next important phase of my life.

So that’s what I’ve been up to, lately. If you care to share your thoughts on retirement, goals and intentions for 2020, art, whatever – I’d love to hear from you!

Rock on,

The WB

Today I Am Six With All The Feels

On November 14, 2019November 14, 2019 By Widow BadassIn Hmmm?, I Got Married51 Comments

Six years ago today – at a few minutes after midnight on November 14, 2013 – I became a widow, hence it is the 6th “birthday” of my alter-ego, The Widow Badass. To say my feelings on this are complicated would be correct, and also a complete simplification of my emotions. I don’t know if there are enough words in the language or enough time and space in anyone’s attention span to describe how I feel about…well…everything that happened during my relationship/marriage and JD’s demise and everything that I found out afterwards, and all that has happened since then. But I will try because it’s undoubtedly better than keeping it all rolling around inside my brain. If you want to skip this post and wait for something more entertaining/funny/silly, I ~~can’t~~ won’t blame you.

I feel guilty today because I don’t miss him at all and I love my new life so much I feel sometimes like my joie de vivre is equivalent to revelling in his death. Which I still feel awful about – nobody deserves to die from cancer, and at the age of 54 to boot. I’m not at all happy that he had to get cancer, suffer and die (blog posts about that start here) yet as a direct result of that I am living a happier, much more peaceful and contented life, with greatly reduced levels of stress.

I feel hurt and angry today because of all that I have found out about JD since he died. I was manipulated and lied to – by a master of the “craft”. The sheer magnitude of his hypocrisy regarding infidelity continues to stagger me to this day.

I feel cheated today because any happy memories I had of good times we shared together are now sullied by finding out his true nature after he passed. When I recall a happy or tender memory, my mind immediately goes to the many betrayals of my trust I uncovered after his death and any good feelings vanish like fog pierced by sunlight.

And every once in a while, I get a blast from his past that raises more questions than answers and drives home the point that I really was bamboozled by this man.

Like when I went to Birks a couple of years ago to follow up on some stuff regarding the diamonds he gave me and the helpful clerk told me the diamond and pearl necklace JD gave me was not covered under the trade-up plan. Except he never gave me that necklace (ummm…awkward) so now I know what the woman he cheated on me with got for Christmas that year – the year he decided we should forgo presents to each other, to save money.

Or like when I got the poisoned pen letter.

Or like when I went to the cemetery to pay respects to JD’s dad and found someone had left a necklace with JD’s astrological symbol on his dad’s headstone, on the backside of the stone beneath JD’s initials. His sister (with me at the time) asked if I had placed it there. When I said no, she quickly (and weirdly, I thought) told me that one of JD’s male cousins must have left it there, then. Sure. Whatever. Probably another girlfriend…

So I also feel like a fool today.

I know it’ll be good for me to leave this building he bought, that I emptied out, restored and poured my heart, soul and dollars into (once I had paid off the massive debt JD left me with, and no life insurance policy either). I go into certain rooms and closets and am reminded of the terrible stuff I found in there, stuff that painted a very different picture of the man I thought I knew, the man I thought was deserving of my heart and soul. I’ll be relieved to leave those triggers behind.

And yet I feel so much joy today because so many wonderful things have happened to me since he died. I’ve met some wonderful people and made some friendships for life – friendships that could not have happened if he were still alive. I’ve grown so much as a person. I’ve been tested and I think I have passed. I’m looking happily forward to a future I could never have imagined if JD was still alive.

He didn’t want me to retire…not even at 65 – he thought we both should keep working until 70, at least. JD also harangued me weekly to join him in a doctoral program, once we completed our MBAs. It exhausts me to think back to that time.

This day will pass. It always does. And my feelings will be left once again on the back burner – on simmer – instead of coming to their annual boil. As I continue to move forward in the Badass life that I love.

Rock on,

The WB

Shout Out to EventBrite (and other good peeps): The Roxodus Aftermath

On July 11, 2019July 11, 2019 By Widow BadassIn Hmmm?, Music33 Comments

In an alternate universe, I would be rocking out right now, up at the Edenvale Airport, instead of sitting in my dining room hammering out this post. My ticket money has been completing refunded as of Wednesday (thank you, EventBrite!) so I am not out any $$$ because of Roxobust, unlike many others who spent thousands on airline tickets and hotels, yet…

Here is a list of concerts I took a pass on because of blowing the entertainment budget on Roxodus: The Killers, Muse, Florence & The Machine, The Black Keys, Arkells, Cheap Trick (who played last month in a wonderful venue close to me BUT WHY WOULD I GO SINCE I WOULD SEE THEM SOON AT ROXODUS…ARGH).

Looking at the bright side (or is it more the Sour Grapes Department? No matter): I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Kid Rock – probably would have left early that particular night. Also on the bright side: I hadn’t transferred any money electronically for food, drink and other festival purchases onto my “bracelet” for Roxodus’s cashless system, despite their urging concertgoers to do so right up to “the end”.

I am so impressed by those that stood up for the cheated fans. Particularly EventBrite, who stepped in to refund money to everyone who bought tickets. They did not have to do this. They were not obligated to do this. Yet they did the right thing for the music fans while Roxodus promoters did…uh, nothing. Nothing except make lame excuses and blame each other for the fiasco.

Huh…what happened to the “festival grounds too wet” excuse? Seems to have melted away as quickly as a morning frost in May...

Shout out also to other music festivals, who stepped up to offer free tickets to Roxodus ticket holders – you guys rock! So far Slamfest (in Kitchener last weekend) and WTFest (in Brantford later in July) have offered good numbers of free passes to those burned by Roxodus. I passed on Slamfest and already have a ticket to WTFest. I won’t be taking advantage of these offers…I have my money back so I prefer to let someone else have the chance to one of the free tickets.

I’ll still be up in the vicinity of Roxodus this weekend – CJ invited me to come up anyways, and hang out at her place at the Beach. So that’s where I’ll be heading after work tomorrow. And I’m delighted to do so.

Taking pleasure in others’ misfortunes; that’s me in this particular instance.

I’m also delighted to see the shit raining down on the Roxodus promoters as the days go on. Bring. It. On. Yes, I am that type of person – call me The Widow Schadenfreude Badass. Not only is the OPP (Ontario Provincial Police) conducting an investigation, and EventBrite promising to aggressively pursue Roxodus for $$$…now the local conservation authority is investigating these guys for clearing hectares of trees off of the Roxodus property without the proper permits and approvals.

It’s kinda entertaining, to watch and read about all the blame-gaming and finger-pointing and mounting legal issues resulting from the collapse of this event. Not 4-days-worth-of-music-festival-entertaining…but one must take amusement where one can find it, in this ridiculous affair.

Perhaps this will result in a business school case study one day. Or a documentary. In the meantime, I am still mightily bummed and finding it hard to…

Rock on,

The WSB

Fyre Festival North: The Roxodus Debacle

On July 6, 2019July 6, 2019 By Widow BadassIn Hmmm?, Music49 Comments

Summer in Canada is a lot of things to a lot of people. One of the things summer means to me is the opportunity to attend music festivals. So late last December, when my friend CJ let me know that her family was buying VIP tickets to Roxodus (July 11-13, 2019) and that I was welcome to stay at her place nearby for the duration of the festival, I jumped on board too despite gagging a bit at the price – at $600+, by far the most money I have ever paid for a single event. For comparison, I plunked down $99 for another 3 day festival happening in August of this year: Riverfest Elora.

Initially the festival was running for 3 days but this spring they added a 4th day (Sunday) at no extra charge (with headliner, Aerosmith, one of my all-time favourite bands!!!!) so this got even better and I was beyond thrilled to be going. I had taken advantage of the early bird pricing; got onto the easier-to-swallow payment plan; it’s all good, right?

Wrong. With a week to go, the organizers pulled the plug on the festival, citing wet grounds as the ~~absolutely bullshit~~ reason. The first day of the announcement, there was a statement on the website that information on refunds would be available soon. The next day this statement disappeared. And I got pissed. And I (and 20,000+ other ticket holders, vendors etc.) had no direct means to contact the organizers, who were incommunicado. With no other outlet for my frustration, I took to social media with this meme, as this particular moment in this particular film represented my mood:

For those of you not familiar with the film, The Big Lebowski, it refers to this scene:

And if you’re not familiar with this cult-classic movie, I urge you to immediately get your hands on a copy and watch it. It’s a great movie that has launched a thousand t-shirts, memes, bumper stickers, social media groups, and even a religion, based on the character of The Dude (the victim of the toilet dunking) as well as other characters in the film.

There are developments happening every day with this Canadian “Fyre Festival”. And the story is still unfolding. I won’t go into the details here – if you are interested, just google Roxodus and you will see it all as it is happening.

On the urging of Mimi (another blogger friend to the rescue – goddess, how I love this community!), I had contacted my credit card company to report my purchase as fraudulent and to see if they could do anything for me. I was told they would start a file with my details, and to call back after 15 days (once the festival dates had passed and the ~~slimeball jerkface~~ promoters had been given every opportunity to make restitution).

Then this morning I received an email from the ~~wonderful amazing~~ good people at Eventbrite (who handled ticket sales), saying that they “set up an Eventbrite-funded Fan Relief Program to make all Roxodus ticket holders whole while we continue to aggressively pursue the return of funds from the festival’s creators.”

Current mood: Much less ~~orange is the new~~ black

And also in the email they let me know how much they were refunding. One teensky weensky problemo: in the email I noticed that they were refunding me the money only from my second-to-last payment on the payment plan. No mention of the rest of the money owing to me.

I emailed them back to let them know that there were still 3 other outstanding transactions that also require repayment before I would be “whole”. And now I wait, confident that Eventbrite will continue to step up, and make good on their promise.

I still hurt for those that invested much more than me into this event – people who booked flights, campsites, hotels, arranged their summer vacations around this event…I hurt for all the businesses small and large that also invested heavily into Roxodus happening.

The only people who aren’t hurting are the bands that were scheduled to play – apparently they were paid 100% upfront.

I used to take certain things for granted. One: that when I bought a ticket to an event, it was most likely going to happen. Two: that if it didn’t happen, I would get my money refunded immediately. I don’t think it is unreasonable or naive to think either of these two things when plunking down hard-earned $$$ for a show. I (and other concert-goers) deal in good faith and expect the same in return.

I will never think this way again. Thanks ~~shitheads~~ Roxodus.

If you’re still reading, thanks for letting me rant. Has something like this ever happened to you? Do tell, in the comments.

Rock on,

The WB

When Badassery Goes Too Far

On May 18, 2019May 18, 2019 By Widow BadassIn Badassery, Hmmm?50 Comments

A few weeks ago something pretty much unheard of where I live happened. A woman was shot to death in a parking lot in broad daylight. Police weren’t releasing too many details, other than her name and a couple of pictures of the vehicle they think that the suspect was using at the time the crime was committed. A couple of days later, the police acted on a tip and found the suspect and his vehicle in another parking lot in town. But as they closed in, he shot himself, and – despite intense medical efforts – passed away. So ends another tragic, shocking story in my part of the world – with two sets of grieving families and friends (victim’s and murderer’s).

The woman’s name sounded strangely familiar to me so I paid this story more attention than I normally would. It didn’t take me long to piece together that the victim was indeed the sister of someone that lived one house away from me during my first marriage. In another lifetime, the victim’s sister and I used to hang out once in a while when our kids were small and we were both ~~lonely and bored out of my mind~~ stay-at-home moms.

Then, as these things happen, I became privy to more details about the murder, through another acquaintance. Here’s what I was told.

The victim was irked that the murderer was dealing drugs in plain view in the parking lot of the victim’s building. She confronted the murderer about it and then started taking photos of the murderer’s car with her cell phone. That’s when she was shot with intent to kill (which happened), and her cell phone smashed by the murderer and left on the ground in the parking lot. The police were able to get the photos of the car from the broken cell phone they retrieved from the scene of the crime.

No doubt in my mind this woman was a Badass. She was of a certain age (very close to mine), where latent Badassery will manifest itself, whether resulting from life circumstances, declining hormone levels, increasing wisdom, or all of the above. I like to think all women eventually come into this Badass stage of life, and that it is one to be welcomed and applauded. Also known as the Zero Fucks Given, Sick of Always Being “Nice”, Sick of Taking Other People’s Shit stage of life.

However, there is a cautionary tale here. No doubt about it – realizing your true nature as a Badass is a wonderful thing…BUT! There is a BUT…and it’s a big ‘un.

BUT! PLEASE BE CAREFUL. The world needs us wise old lady Badasses (whether they know it or not) and now there is one less of us in the world. Don’t risk your personal safety to right the world’s wrongs.

You ~~may be~~ are fierce, but not fierce enough to stop a bullet or to overcome someone who is physically bigger and stronger than you. And then there is the futility of dealing with someone who may be mentally unstable.

Choose your battles wisely and with care, and think first and foremost of your own safety and well-being.

That is certainly the personal lesson I took away from this tragic event.

Stay safe out there fellow Badasses – and rock on,

The WB

Spring Equinox: Thoughts on Intentions, Life and Death(!)

On March 20, 2019March 20, 2019 By Widow BadassIn Blogging, Goals & Dreams, Health Transformation, Hmmm?34 Comments

It’s Spring!!!! Let me just speak for all (OK, maybe not you guys on Vancouver Island…grrrr! 😉 ) Canadians and say how relieved we are that IT IS OFFICIALLY SPRING ON THE CALENDAR and Winter 2019 is now behind us.

As is my habit, I use these times of the year to check in on my progress towards my intentions. This provides me with a quarterly reminder and opportunity for course-correction, if needed. It’s like using the Daylight Savings Time changes to remind you to check the batteries in a smoke detector, except more in keeping with the natural world!

So…so far, so good. I am keeping up with making good on my word for 2019: Record, entering a few bon mots (or not so bon mots) every day in my journal.

Wish I’d said that. I tend to be more of a wise-cracker, but hey! Calisthenics! That’s like exercise, right? Exercise is good. Even if it’s only brain exercise.

My health journey – also so far, so good! I’m killing my 10K step goal. And, as of today, I have lost just over 13 pounds since I joined WW last October. I feel great, with lots of energy and enthusiasm to get me through my days. My jeans fits nicely – even a bit loose – for the first time in a long time. I love everything about WW – I love the app; the flexibility; the variety; the focus on healthy, whole foods and daily activity; the support and sharing at the workshop; and of course (so important for me) – the accountability. I even lost 1/2 pound after coming back from my winter travels – and believe me, I did not track my food/liquor intake or even try to restrict myself while vacationing!

One of the best things about this weight loss is that already my blood pressure has come down significantly. I may soon have to adjust how I take my BP medication, and hopefully can get off it completely at some point.

Treated myself to a new water container at work when I noticed I was not drinking enough during the day. I saw this at the store and was drawn to it, like a magnet. I likes the SHINY. 🙂

The A-Z Blog Challenge is coming up at the beginning of April, and for the first time in 4 years, I won’t be participating. Because I’ll be travelling again (AGAIN!!!) in the middle of the month. This is turning out to be quite the year for me. So here’s what’s happening: my SIL and BIL have put their names in every year for the past 10 years, for the opportunity to buy passes to the Masters Golf Tournament in Augusta, Georgia. And you guessed it – this year they got notified their names were drawn. So guess who got invited to join them down there? That’s right. THIS GAL!

We’ll be staying in an “executive home” and meals and transportation to and from the course are included. I don’t have much more details than that, at this point. Except for knowing the dress code and rules for being a spectator (no cameras, cell phone, no electronics PERIOD). This last part has me a bit stressed. What is a blogger without her camera??? Speaking of …

I decided, after months of thinking about it, to treat myself to a new camera.

My new baby. With the video screen flipped up. Yet something else to learn how to work. Check out the size of this “getting-started” manual. I downloaded the “real” manual from ye olde Canon website. Oh yes, brain calisthenics for the win!

My previous camera is 5 years old. Which is like using a 5 year old phone or computer. Ancient technology. I’m looking forward to using the video function more and more. I may eventually post the odd video diary to YouTube if I feel confident enough to try out this vlogging thing. Speaking of YouTube…

My new obsession: Caitlin Doughty, and her channel

Caitlin is an author and YouTuber, and the founder/leader (or at least one of them) of The Order of the Good Death – a death-positivity movement. I hope I haven’t lost you yet! She is a mortician and an advocate of helping families take back control of their loved one’s death and funeral rites, helping them to choose greener burials (usually much lower in cost than the traditional way too) and to say goodbye in a healthier, more personal and meaningful way. She is trying to change the dialogue around death and empower families to stand up to pushy funeral homes, and does it with short, fun videos that I find very entertaining and educational. Her channel has hours of content about death-related topics and rituals from around the world (Ask a Mortician! Iconic Corpses! Morbid Minutes!) that are addictive to watch!

Here’s a really good one about grief, to give you a sample. One that’s not quite so macabre – not that there is anything wrong with that! A-hem!!!

What she says really resonates with me because I consider myself a pretty death-positive person. I don’t shy away from the topic or people who are dying. (Let’s face it: we are all dying. Just some of us sooner than others).

In fact, with all the deaths I’ve had to experience in my family lately, I’ve found that I have kind of an aptitude for it, if that’s the right term. Someday I may volunteer in some capacity to help people with death. Like at a hospice.

And I feel really strongly about having a green burial. I sent Mizz J a random text this week telling her (again) of my wishes to be sewn into a biodegradable shroud and dumped, un-embalmed, into a hole in the ground, to nourish the soil and plant life. I even sent her a link to a green burial cemetery – you know – just in case something happens before I can arrange it for myself. As one does…

Thinking of and planning my death is not at all morbid, to me. My mom planned and paid for her funeral years in advance and it brought her great peace of mind. And made our job of caring for her in her illness and death so much easier at a difficult time. Because we knew exactly what she wanted done, at the end.

That’s it for me. Happily thinking about death at the start of this season of new life. 🙂 How are you all doing at this point in 2019? Please feel free to share in the comments.

Rock on,

The WB

What Else Am I Missing in Life: a lesson from makeup samples

On March 10, 2019March 10, 2019 By Widow BadassIn Hmmm?27 Comments

This post could also have been called: Beware of Falling Into Ruts.

Last weekend my pal Mizz K took me out for lunch and to play with makeup at Sephora and MAC – a highly enjoyable pastime, that we have enjoyed before.

I picked up some eyeshadow and lipstick that I didn’t need, but that made me happy. As I was checking out at Sephora, the girl behind the counter dropped a couple of lipstick samples into my bag.

Usually I get “anti-aging” product samples (unasked for) dropped in my bag, by the ever-so helpful beauticians (really? why can’t I get some fun stuff instead?) so this was very welcome.

When I got home I pulled the samples out and immediately judged that one had potential but the other had absolutely none.

Dior Addict Stellar Shine Samples — Sorry about the mess. If I’d known I was going to write a blog post about this, I would’ve snapped a picture before I dug into the samples.

I don’t do orange. I feel at this age, I know my colours. I know what looks good on my body and my face, and browns and oranges are colours I avoid. I am a pink/plum/burgundy lipstick kind of gal. So immediately, I gravitated toward the colour on the right and dismissed the colour on the left.

However, some spirit of adventure momentarily took control of my senses and I opened the orang-y Dior Charm sample and applied it to my lips.

Mind. Blown.

Whaaaaa? I not only like this colour on me. I LOVE IT.

I don’t know if it’s because I am rocking the Barbados tan still or what. But this coral-y, orang-y, avoid-at-all-costs colour not only looks pinky-natural on me, I love what it does for my whole face.

I was so surprised by this, I didn’t trust my own eyes.

Wait, this can’t be right. I’m just imagining it. This isn’t my colour. It’s gotta be a trick of the light. HOW. CAN. THIS. BE. A. THING. Did I mention THIS IS NOT MY COLOUR? WHO AM I ANYMORE?!?!?!

I had to ask my friend – fashion historian and overall arbiter of good taste – Jonathan Walford, if the colour actually looked as good on me as I thought it did.

He said it did – looked very natural, he said. Well, OK then. Confirmed!

Coral lipstick – where have you been all my life?

So this begs the question: what else I am missing out on because I’ve become stuck in a rut or think I KNOW what to use and what to avoid?

I tell you, this experience has made me question a lot more stuff that I thought I knew for sure. Who knows what other surprises are in store for me!

Ooooh, the power of makeup to transform not only your outsides, but your insides!

I should write an advertisement. Dior makeup people – you know where to find me, right?

How about you? Ever had a moment where everything you thought you knew went straight out the window? Do tell.

Rock on,

The WB

You Better Work (unless sick; then You Better Stay Home)

On January 10, 2019 By Widow BadassIn Hmmm?22 Comments

Sick! That’s how I started off my 2019. As opposed to Sickening.

One of my goals was to take 10,000 steps per day every day in 2019. I don’t think I have even taken 10K steps, YET!

It started already on December 31, with a headache that just wouldn’t die, and swollen neck glands. I was determined to tough it out. But instead I got sicker each day, until I just let the flu virus have its way with me. So I stayed home and kept my germs to myself (as we should always do). If I couldn’t thwart the evil bug any other way, I was determined that THIS ENDS WITH ME.

During my self-imposed isolation from humanity, I kept myself amused by catching up on RuPaul’s Drag Race on Netflix, between naps and coughing and sneezing and shuffling to the kitchen for drugs and more drugs. I had watched Season 1 way back when and then Season 8 last year, and had a lot of catching up to do, obviously. I found when I was watching Season 8 that I was getting quite frustrated and pissy. It was like joining a new group (with its own language) and not getting any of the in-jokes. Heck, I couldn’t even determine WHAT they were saying, half the time. Let alone what they meant by it. I felt like an outsider.

However, now I am pleased to report that I have earned my certificate in Drag-ology. Yep, this past week and a half has been like going to Drag Immersion School. There are still a few terms I am not 100% clear on the meaning of, but I am sure they are probably dirty. Yes, because I have learned that drag queens are mostly dirty shady, sickening, fierce lady-boys.

I could listen to Alyssa Edwards give commentary all day. Don’t judge. (Also, I believe the correct quote is “Look how fucking orange you look, girl.”)

But watching them gives me life so I don’t really mind.

Just so you don’t think I was totally lazy while ill, I was also determinedly growing in my eyebrows. It was and continues to be exhausting. Constantly using your left hand to slap the tweezers out of your right hand is SO. VERY. TIRING. Ugh.

Perhaps I should just do this instead: