What I did when Summer finally came to Ontario – October

On November 3, 2017November 3, 2017 By Widow BadassIn Bruce Trail Adventure, Gardening, Good Times, NaBloPoMo, See the Beauty, The Great Outdoors5 Comments

First a PSA: thanks to the power of the Twitterverse and a blogger named Kat of AsKatKnits, I learned that NaBloPoMo is still a thing! Another blogger (Aimie from Blissful Lemon) is hosting it this year. Go Aimie! Link up here, if interested in joining in the challenge (and the fun!).

Here is part 2 of how I made the most of Ontario’s better-late-than-never summer weather :

The Badass Rooftop Garden produced pole beans and cherry tomatoes until an overnight frost hit mid-October.

The warm weather meant lots of strolls at all times of day. Here is early evening on October 3.

Took a trip up to Mrs. & Mrs. Me Too’s place right after Thanksgiving!

And drinking beer on the dock while viewing stunning sunsets, natch.

Back in my neck of the woods again. More hiking, this time at Crawford Lake Conservation Area. Nassagaweya Canyon overlook.

I’ve been enjoying using a free hiking app downloaded to my phone, called All Trails. It shows you exactly where you are on the trail (blue dot)

And even more hiking! This time at Felker’s Falls with a delightful fellow blogger, Joanne from My Life Lived Full. This was a close as I dared get to the edge – my back leg is firmly planted as far behind me as I could extend it.

It was great to finally meet the person who inspired me to revive my own Bruce Trail Dream (in progress). We spent so much time hiking and chatting we forgot to get a picture of the both of us…hehehe. Next time!

And now the real fall is finally upon us. Dark mornings and early evenings and damp, cold, windy weather.

Thankfully, I have this to look forward to during these dark days ahead:

Ahhh, a Nespresso latte machiatto. Life’s little morning luxury.

Rock on until tomorrow!

The WB

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What I did when Summer finally came to Ontario – September

On November 2, 2017 By Widow BadassIn Bruce Trail Adventure, Good Times, NaBloPoMo, Roadtripping, See the Beauty, The Great Outdoors, Uncategorized10 Comments

This is going to be a two-parter, because Summer finally came to town in September and hung on through almost all of October.

Afternoon at Little Tract September 13. Blazing hot out.

Visiting Alton Mills Arts Centre September 16. Lovely spot and worth the drive!

Beaching it at Bayfield September 17. I even swam, twice – to get some relief from the heat!

Hiking with Mizz J September 23. Another scorcher of a day.

Watching the dancing at Jane Austen’s Country Ball (hosted by the Fashion History Museum) September 23. I felt a little sorry for all the revelers in their hot costumes. Obviously no one thought it would be so hot and humid so late in the season when the event was planned. It did not stop the festivities though!

Hiking at Rattlesnake Point September 30. Hasn’t cooled down yet!

I did try to make the most of the great weather while it lasted, and when I wasn’t working.

Tomorrow I will do a photo recap of the glory that was October.

Rock on,

The WB

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Happy September!

On September 3, 2017September 3, 2017 By Widow BadassIn Artistic Endeavours, Good Times, I Got Married, Roadtripping, See the Beauty, The Great Outdoors6 Comments

Well hello dear Bloggie,

Coming at you from a hotel room in Kelowna, British Columbia on this fine 3rd day of September – which would have been my 7th wedding anniversary. (Or would it? Hmmm…I’d like to think I would not have divorced my mentally ill, betrayer of a husband had he not died from cancer…but who knows what alternate reality I would be living by now had things turned out differently…) Anyhow, I don’t have a whole lot of emotion surrounding this day anymore…and I think that is a good and healthy sign.

August has been a stressful month for me. My sister has been quite ill and in hospital here in Kelowna – hence my presence. Most of the month I was on pins and needles, not knowing when her surgery would finally happen or if she would be healthy enough to even qualify. This, plus lots of goings on at work made the month both drag on and fly by simultaneously, if that makes any sense (and it does to me).

I did manage to get up to see my other sister (Me Too) and her wife at their lovely lakeside home, on the Civic Holiday Long weekend…and stopped in at a National Park (another one crossed off the list) along the drive up there.

At Thousand Islands National Park. Check out how straight my teeth are becoming! #Invisalignlove

Just another peaceful misty morning at Me Too’s place.

And I did get to Riverfest Elora 2017. A fantastic festival with such a great vibe – I think this will be an annual event for me. Hopefully next year I can convince someone to join me. I didn’t mind going alone, but naturally it would have been even more enjoyable to have company.

As I fretted and stressed the month away, I decided to pour my feelings into the paint I was applying on some canvases.

Practically a copy of a painting done by another artist, Elspeth McLean. Don’t all artists start out by copying the greats? 🙂 This is for the sister I am currently visiting. I named it “Feminine Energy”.

Another finished piece. No name yet. This is an original.

I did find some time to get on the river.

And then I got word that my sister’s surgery had finally been scheduled and was happening within 48 hours, so it was a mad dash to get plane tickets and book a hotel. I arrived in smoke- and ash-covered Kelowna on Tuesday. This has been the worst season for forest fires in 60 years, I’ve been told.

My feet (de-Birkenstocked) after a day of trudging back and forth to the hospital.

Patio chair after a night of falling ash.

My sister’s surgery was a success and she is steadily improving. And the skies have cleared up too!

That’s much better! Still hazy but at least it’s blue!

I have booked my flight home for this coming Tuesday. Now there is nothing left to do on this Labour Day long weekend but enjoy visiting my sister and eat my fill of Okanagan peaches.

Rock on,

The WB

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When am I going to grow up?

On July 17, 2017September 3, 2017 By Widow BadassIn Badassery, Good Times, Hmmm?8 Comments

A former spouse of mine once infamously asked me that question.

Back in the late 90s, I had told him that we should take the kids to a music festival together (Edgefest, in Barrie) for the day. The lineup was awesome, and I thought it would be a great opportunity to show the kids what an outdoor rock concert was all about and how to do it safely and enjoyably. They were excited, as there were many groups/artists they liked; I was excited as there were many groups/artists I also liked. But he pooh-poohed all over the idea. He didn’t want to go. And he didn’t want us to go either. I said that’s too bad – we’d love it if you came too, but we were going, regardless. He then asked me when I was going to GROW UP and stop wanting to do “THIS SHIT”. Well, hello? I thought he had enjoyed going to concerts with me.

He ended up going, grudgingly – only because there was no way he wanted me to be having any kind of fun without him. (If only he knew how much fun the kids and I had when he left us alone to go up north to see his family for a few days!)

By the end of the summer, I had found a townhouse and was moving out, thus ending our 17 year marriage. Not because of this one stupid comment, obviously…but it speaks volumes about why we were no longer suited to be together.

I have been in love with music since I was a babe in arms. My mom told me when she took me to church as an infant tears would stream down my face whenever I heard the organ play. I asked her why and she said, it seemed to her that I was feeling the music on a visceral level, and it had moved me to weep.

Which is pretty cool – and you’d think a kid like that would be a natural musician – but no. I must have been standing behind the door when the Mystery was handing out musical talent ‘cos I got none.

But what I do have is a major love of music and attending live shows. However, as I am getting older it is getting harder to find people (in my demographic) to attend these shows with me. Especially as I continue to listen to and enjoy new and emerging artists, as well as those I grew up with.

My usual concert buddy – my daughter, Mizz J – is in British Columbia this summer – so what’s a badass widow to do, when there are so many great concerts happening all around me?

As much as it is not my preference, I am going to a 3 day outdoor music festival on my own:

Elora Riverfest 2017 Lineup. So excited!

I just have to go, even though I will be going solo. I learned my lesson from missing WayHome last year. There were at least 16 acts I wanted to see but I couldn’t find anyone to go with me. So I missed them all. Never again.

So this got me to thinking: how many major bands/artists have I seen over the years, since I was a teenager? I tried to write them all down.

I feel like I am missing a few, and a few major ones too. Well, I did come of age in the 70s after all.

I’m going to keep a few pages blank so I can keep adding to the list.

So, I guess I am never going to grow up. Sorry, Husband #1. (Not sorry).

I still see people at these shows who look even older than me, so there is that. Trust me, I look. I am not the only one still doing “this shit”.

Rock on,

The WB

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It’s Race Day but Not for Me (plus other updates)

On June 4, 2017June 4, 2017 By Widow BadassIn Artistic Endeavours, Gardening, Good Times, Health Transformation, The Great Outdoors5 Comments

Back in February I committed to another half-marathon race. I started training for the Niagara Falls Women’s Half Marathon (again). Things started out well but I began to struggle as temperatures rose and distances increased. I made the decision early in May that I would not participate, as I couldn’t meet the minimum pace required to finish the course in time.

This was a tough decision to make and initially I felt defeated and like a failure. I have successfully trained for and completed 5 half-marathons and I have never had this problem before.

I had no idea why I wasn’t improving despite adhering to my tried and true schedule of training walks. I wondered if maybe I was developing exercise intolerance due to the daily medication I now have to take (thanks TIAs!) or if work was kicking my ass even more than I suspected. What the hell has changed?

I made an appointment to see my doc for a physical and blood tests were ordered. My clever doc ordered a TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) test to be done along with the “usual suspects” of blood counts, lipid profiles, blood sugar etc. I downloaded my results on Friday and noticed the TSH levels were reported as abnormally high, meaning my thyroid gland may be under-performing. Hmmmm….this explains a lot of symptoms I am experiencing, not just my poor performance on my walks.

I am making an appointment to discuss this with my doc first thing Monday, to see what the next steps are. I do feel a bit better now about my inability to meet the pace requirements for today’s race. I know I made the right call to pull out, even though a part of me wishes I was on the course with all the other runners and walkers right now.

Anyhow, it does seem that indeed something has changed and I will get that investigated further and addressed. Stay tuned!

In other Badass news, I have experienced a setback with my rooftop garden as well. Thanks, Mother Nature.

Immediately after a microburst of high winds and rain.

Looks like this gardening adventure is going to be a “fall down 7 times; get up 8” type scenario. Still up for the challenge!

In Kayaking news, I took my newest acquisition out for its maiden voyage. (I’m stopping now with kayak purchases, I promise!).

Meet Smokey Robinson! Joining Pink Floyd and the Rev. Al Green in my kayak fleet.

When the weather is bad, I play around with my art supplies. I put together a new storage cabinet yesterday for my ever-expanding collection of pencils, crayons, markers, inks and paints.

Bringing order to – and hiding – chaos. Thank you IKEA.

Here’s a sneak peek at a work in progress.

Acrylic Flower of Life design inspired by “dotillism” artist Elspeth McLean.

Rock on,

The WB

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L is for the Lake – Preparing for a Badass Retirement #AtoZChallenge

On April 14, 2017April 15, 2017 By Widow BadassIn A2Z Challenge Post, Goals & Dreams, Good Times, Retirement, The Great Outdoors8 Comments

When my sisters and I were little, my parents and grandparents would go for their annual 2 week vacation together. Each year during that time period we would head up to Mattawa, to a rented cottage. This was before the tent-trailer/trailer camping phase (sans grandparents) of our lives began.

I absolutely loved staying at the Blanchard family’s cottages, located on a private lake.

Every (very early) morning was spent watching the sun rise from our little aluminum boat, poles expectantly dangling above the water. Every evening was spent the same way, this time watching the sun go down and using a flashlight to get back to the dock in the near darkness.

We caught so much fish we had it for breakfast (catfish with our eggs and bacon) and supper (perch, bass or pike). At first it was great. But after a week of this we kids used to beg Mom: “Please, no more fish! Can’t we have pork chops tonight please???”

Days were spent exploring the property and swimming in the lake. There was a little pond at the end of a trail in the bush near the cottage, that housed the baby fish used to stock the lake. I loved to go there and check on their progress.

There was a tiny tuck shop at the main house and every day Mom would give us a dime (a whole dime!!!) with which to buy ourselves a treat – it ended up being a chocolate bar, usually. This was unbelievably thrilling to us as kids as we didn’t have any sweets at our house, except for special occasions.

My middle sister (the youngest was still too young to accompany us) would invariably pipe up that she wanted whatever I was getting, which earned her the nickname “Me-Too” from Mrs. Blanchard.

Once back home, I would often lay awake at night and relive those carefree, happy weeks every summer at the cottage. I felt unbearably homesick for that part of the province at times, and vowed I would find a way to live there – on a lake – when I grew up.

Well, I grew up and did not end up north of here, living lakeside, for a multitude of reasons.

But little Me-Too managed to do it! And I was reminded of my childhood vow when I visited her and her wife at their lovely property last summer.

This got me thinking that I have nothing stopping me from relocating to a waterfront property, once I am no longer tied to an area due to proximity to work. There are so many lakes in this province of mine (including 4 Great Lakes) that it will be hard to choose the exact “right” one for me.

For sure, my dream property has to be close to hiking and walking trails and be ideal for kayaking, stand-up paddle boarding, and swimming.

(Fishing has lost its thrill for me so that doesn’t factor into my decision…something I never could have foreseen. I haven’t fished in years and last time I did I surprisingly felt so sorry for the beautiful fish I hauled out of the lake, I released it right away – much to my first husband’s chagrin. So I started leaving my pole on the shore and bringing a book onto the boat with him instead.)

Obviously a move like this is a huge decision and one that requires a lot of thought and research. Wouldn’t it be funny if it became my turn to be “Me-Too”?

Rock on,

The WB

K is for Knapsack – Preparing for a Badass Retirement #AtoZChallenge

On April 13, 2017April 14, 2017 By Widow BadassIn A2Z Challenge Post, Goals & Dreams, Good Times, Retirement, Roadtripping, The Great Outdoors1 Comment

K is for Knapsack, which means hitting the road (or trail)!

When I see my knapsack I think of hiking trails, road trips and camping.

One of my biggest dreams for my retirement is being able to “hit the road” and explore North America (and it’s byways and hiking trails), for several weeks at a time. I haven’t quite settled on whether I will do this from an RV (but quite small, like a VW microbus) or haul a trailer behind me (also small, like a T@B or T@G or – if I win a lottery – an Airstream Bambi!), or just stay at motels. It may end up being “all of the above”, depending on the type/length of trip and as I try things out to figure on what’s best for me.

I camped a lot growing up, and also as a young wife and mother. Tents, trailers, tent trailers…I’ve experienced them all. I loved the camping life and am confident I will again. I have found people who camp to be generally the friendliest and most helpful of people. Wherever we went, campers were always there for each other.

However, I’m a bit nervous about hauling something behind me as I’ve never done it solo. Luckily, there are support systems out there for female camping enthusiasts, like Sisters on the Fly and Girl Camper.

I believe SOTF will even assign the newbie a mentor to offer encouragement and answer questions about camping and hauling a trailer, as a lone female. I like their rules for their outings: “No Men, No Kids, Be Nice, Have Fun.” They are big on “me-time” and getting together as women-only to rejuvenate and re-energize, sans daily responsibilities – hence the “no men, no kids” rule. And their motto: “We have more fun than anyone.” It’s a group I think I will explore further as I get closer to retirement. From the information on their website (and the pictures of the so-cute decked-out trailers – many vintage), it certainly does look like they have a lot of fun. And you don’t even need to own a trailer or even a tent for that matter, to be a Sister.

Girl Camper (Motto: Going places. Doing things.) offers a regular podcast on all things “girl camper”, no surprises there. I’ve listened to a few podcasts so far and the interchange between the host (Janine Pettit) and the guest speaker is often a real hoot. These are the campers and camping enthusiasts I remember from my younger days! Having fun and living life, telling funny stories around the nightly campfire, and always available to help a fellow camper out.

Yep, that’s my tribe.

Rock on (and don’t forget your knapsack!),

The WB

J is for Joining – Preparing for a Badass Retirement #AtoZChallenge

On April 12, 2017 By Widow BadassIn A2Z Challenge Post, Good Times, Retirement2 Comments

If there is no one available to share one’s interests (and that new-found free time), retirement could end up being a bit lonely, even for an introvert like me.

I’m already experiencing that to some degree. I have a hard time finding people to accompany me to some of the events I am interested in. Especially live music shows or festivals. Friends my age don’t always share my taste in or passion for live music. Friends that are younger than me don’t necessarily have the free time or cash to spare.

I don’t have a problem attending these events alone if there is a band I just have to see. However, it is much nicer to do this with other people. And wouldn’t you know it – there’s an app for just these types of situations. Meet Meetup.com!

I haven’t joined yet but I have ~~creeped~~ looked on the website for what is going on in my area. There are local meet-ups for hiking, book clubs, art, writing, language and culture, sports, travel…for just about everything.

Anyone can start a Meetup group and start attracting other like-minded individuals to…well…meet up, in real life! Meetup membership is free, and organizers may charge a fee for joining their group or certain events, to cover the cost. The basic plan for an organizer is about 10 bucks, USD per month. So, not outrageous especially if participants kick in a few bucks at each event to keep the group going.

Community centres also offer many diverse activities (also for a fee, albeit usually pretty reasonable) for retirees. There’s one within walking distance to me that also has a pool and fitness centre attached. I look at the quarterly activities guide that is published and see daily events and classes that I would love to attend if only the times offered didn’t conflict with this earning-a-living thing I am still involved with…Ahhh, someday!

Rock on,

The WB

E is for Experiences – Preparing for a Badass Retirement #AtoZChallenge

On April 6, 2017 By Widow BadassIn A2Z Challenge Post, Bruce Trail Adventure, Goals & Dreams, Good Times, Retirement, Roadtripping4 Comments

First – Housekeeping: for the past couple of days myself and some readers have been experiencing trouble making or replying to comments on ye olde blogge. I replied to 2 comments this morning without issue. This is since upgrading to the latest version of WordPress. I hope this means the problem is resolved. If you do get the “white screen of death” when trying to publish a comment, please try again. It has worked for me the second time, each time. I am now in the habit of copying my comment before hitting publish, just in case. But I had no issues this morning and am hopeful this means things are back to normal now.

Retirement is a time for experiencing things you didn’t have time for when working. Like taking a month-long road trip across Canada. Or volunteering your time in a developing nation. Or participating in a 10 day Vipassana retreat. Or going to India to study yoga. Or visiting Australia, New Zealand and Japan – all in one trip.

Or committing to an intense, time-consuming goal. Like training for a full marathon, or committing to do every race in the Rock ‘n Roll Half Marathon series. Or hiking the Bruce Trail in its entirety in one year. Or spending a whole week just drawing and painting. I could go on but I think you get the picture.

These things are infinitely more do-able with that extra 40 hours per week and unlimited (hehehe) vacation days.

These are just some of the ideas I have rolling around in my brain. I am sure if I gave it some more time and thought I could come up with a list as long as my arm of experiences I would like to commit to. Or at least investigate further.

I plan on being very open to new experiences and to keep on saying yes! to them for as long as I can. This widow has a lot of catching up to do, once she lifts her nose away from the grindstone.

Rock on,

The WB

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Reading for (Guilty) Pleasure and Book Club Dreams

On March 5, 2017March 5, 2017 By Widow BadassIn Good Times, Read Books5 Comments

While I was on vacation what already seems like years ago, but was actually only 4 weeks ago, I happily devoured 4 fiction books. I got started on a detective series (the Hieronymous Bosch series, by Michael Connelly) and this became my beach (and nighttime) reading for the week. Oh yeah, and I finally got around to reading Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander, which I thought was kinda meh – seemed to me to be “yer typical bodice-ripper”, albeit with a time travel twist – a genre I have not dipped into since my early 20s.

I had almost completely given up reading for pleasure when I was pursuing my MBA studies (and everything else that was happening at the same time) and now a year later it still feels weird/guilt-inducing to be doing it. I try not to let this stop me but it’s something I struggle with yet. (The mandatory reading I do every night to shut down my brain and get into sleep mode is exempted from these feelings of guilt.)

Part of this is being cognizant that my pleasure reading could veer from being a harmless indulgence to an addictive escape from my reality.

I feel my reality is pretty great right now so this is not so much a worry as a niggle in the back of my brain. Like if drinking alcohol moved from being a social/relaxing thing to a required, nightly solo ritual (something else the back of my mind monitors for me). I wouldn’t be the first widow to become a secret or not-so secret lush. So I ask myself what my motivation is when I reach into the cupboard for a wine glass. So far, so good…not to worry, dear Blog!

Anywho, I do hear my inner ~~nag~~ voice nagging at me for reading for pleasure.

Especially when the book(s) are not…um…”heavy”, in my opinion. A heavy or weighty book to me is not meant literally, especially now that most of the books I read are digital editions. No, by that I mean it’s a book that stays with you. One that you are still thinking about days later. One with characters so fully fleshed that you feel you know them as friends. One that describes the human condition. One that resonates with you. One that changes you and how you see the world somehow, however subtly. One that finds you talking to yourself in the author’s “voice” afterwards (or is that just me?).

I don’t feel (as) guilty having consumed one of these books. Examples of those books for me would be: The Diviners, by Margaret Laurence and Winter’s Tale, (don’t discount it because of the terrible movie) by Mark Helprin. Books that I must reread every so many years.

During last year’s vacation in Barbados, I burned through 6 books in 7 days. Still reeling from my mother’s death only a few weeks before, I was definitely escaping from reality into fiction! But I gave myself a pass on that, due to the circumstances. I quickly read all of the books I had brought with me plus my daughter’s books. Then I was forced to peruse the hotel’s bookcase for my next read. Among the novels written in German (!?) and the thin drug-store paperbacks, I found I am Pilgrim by Terry Hayes. Not a genre I would have sought out normally (suspense/spy novel), but it was HUGE and I thought it looked interesting.

OMG, I loved it! I consumed it in a little over a day. This book reintroduced me to reading just for the sheer pleasure of the story – something I had forgotten about. Something I want to get back to and without guilt, if I could only shut down my inner ~~nag~~ voice…

In direct juxtaposition of these feelings, for a couple of years now I have had this vision rolling around in my head of starting a book club. WTF. I know, right? I guess I want to “legitimize” my reading in this way. Makes it seem important and mind-expanding vs. a “waste of time” (my inner ~~voice~~ nag’s words, not mine!).

In my fantasy book club dream, I see a diverse group of women….ok, and maybe a gay man or two…gathering once a month or every 6 weeks for fabulous, sparkling conversation and nibblies. We only disagree respectfully, politely and constructively; we always all show up; we have all read the book; we have the most concise, witty and illuminating comments about that month’s pick. Everyone goes home feeling great about themselves and what they learned from each other and we can’t wait until we meet again!

Yeah. About that…OK, OK! I get that it’s a total fantasy.

But what if I (we) started a virtual book club? Who’s with me on this one? Give it some thought. And let me know what books resonated with you please. I am always looking for a great next read, inner ~~voice~~ nag be damned!

Rock (and read) on,

The WB