NaBloPoMo 2016

On November 4, 2016November 5, 2016 By Widow BadassIn Hmmm?1 Comment

Dear Long-Suffering Blog,

Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought of you…and then went on to do something else. Oops, my bad.

I have been pretty damn busy actually, if you care to know dear Blog. For instance, I had what we think was ANOTHER mini-stroke, which necessitated a whole plethora of testing. On the night before my damn birthday in case you were interested. How sad is that? While I was waiting at the kitchen counter for some goodies that I had baked to cool, so I could pack them up to take in to my staff at work. Instead of delivering the goodies the next day I spent it in bed, recovering from the sleepless night spent on a cot in the Emergency Department. One of my shittier birthdays, if you want to know the truth of it, dear Blog.

So far all results are negative and the cardiologist has offered up a hypothesis that it could have been some weird, rare type of migraine instead. Really, Blog. I shit you not. Hemiplegic migraine. Google it.

I just finished all the scheduled testing last week and am waiting not very patiently for the results of my 2 – count ’em – 2 MRIs.

In between all of this medical merry-making, I have been travelling (The Netherlands, Chalk River, Montreal) and nesting like a MOTHER. Yep, renovations are now complete at Chez Badass, dear Blog, and I finally get to gettin’ to the fun stuff. Hanging shit on walls, buying (many, many) throw cushions, and putting up drapes. Woohoo! After 3 long, busy years I live in a place that looks like a real home instead of a temporary camp in a long- abandoned office building. And that means I can now catch up on my socializing which I am also way behind on because of various life-altering events such as becoming a widow AND orphan, moving, becoming a landlord, renovating every damn thing, and completing a post-graduate degree while holding down a full-time job – all at the same effing time.

So now today I learned of this thing called NaBloPoMo 2016. How could I not know about this? I mean, I know all about NaNoWriMo or whatever the hell it’s called, and I have no intention of ever writing a novel. Yet it’s in my face every November. Huh.

Oh well, I have seen it now and it can’t be unseen. So here goes. I have some catching up to do and thankfully BlogHer has provided writing prompts for the weekdays, at least:

Nov. 1: When you’re having a bad day with your mental health, what do you do to help yourself?

Well, a big ol’ glass of Vitamin W usually helps my mental health considerably. It comes in 2 main colours but I prefer the red one.

Yep, a glass or 2 of this miracle elixir helps my attitude to adjust back to the correct, default setting of zero-fucks-to-be-given.

If for whatever reason I cannot or choose not to take my special vitamin, going for a brisk walk or doing yoga or even taking a luxurious nap can do the trick. Of course writing on you dear Blog, or in my journal – does this even need to be said? All of these actions help my mood and remind me that, for most things these days, I do or should have zero-fucks-to-give anymore.

Nov. 2: When was the last time you did something brave? What happened?

I try to do something brave whenever an opportunity comes up, which is way more frequently than one would imagine. Because when I wimp out on stuff, I feel way worse than if I had just done the thing I was scared to do. Being brave, for me, is way easier on my ever-present and very loud and annoying conscience. Almost always what happens is good stuff.

Like when I was a neophyte landlord and trying to negotiate my first all-by-myself lease. It was going south rapidly, due to some miscommunications, so I put my big girl panties on and circumvented the agent and talked to the prospective tenants directly and frankly about what I was expecting out of the deal. They did the same and we came to an agreement immediately. Now I consider them an asset – not only to my building, but also to my life. Knowing these people has enriched my life tremendously and I feel blessed by this experience.

Nov. 3: If you could be completely honest with no regrets, what would you say and to whom?

First of all I hate this “no regrets” shit. People who brag about having no regrets either live a totally fake, cotton-wrapped life, are sociopaths, or are as deep as a summer puddle. Anybody who has lived any kind of life and has the mental capacity to reflect on their life and their behaviour should have a boatload of regrets. We can always do better, people.

If I could be completely honest with no regrets (no such animal), I would choose to be kind no matter what I thought I wanted/needed to say to someone. You never really know what other people are dealing with. No one was ever born an asshole. And even if they were, are your words gonna change anything? Or just cause more suffering – both for yourself and the other person? Yeah. Dwell on that one for a bit before you shoot your mouth off.

Nov. 4: Which fall shows should totally be canceled already?

Can’t comment. Haven’t watched network television in a bazillion years. I think the last network show I got excited about was Northern Exposure. Cancel ’em all I say. Or just shove them onto Netflix so I can watch a whole bunch at a time and not have to try to remember who’s who or what is going on between episodes or have to schedule my life around when the damn thing airs. Yes, I know I can set the PVR but that is yet another DUTY and RESPONSIBILITY. Sigh.

Now dear Blog, I hear a glass of Vitamin W calling my name on this fine Friday night. See ya tomorrow, old chum.

Rock on,

The WB

Pacing One’s Self – Part 2

On August 2, 2016 By Widow BadassIn Good Times, MusicLeave a comment

Sunday brought us the Temperance Movement show at the Toronto Festival of Beer. Still very hot and humid, but thankfully mostly overcast so walking around outside was that much more bearable.

Mizz J and I left for Toronto as late as possible. Timing was perfect actually. We arrived about an hour before the band went on, which left us just enough time to spend our beer tokens (came with admission, along with a sampling mug) on tasting some new libations:

Crabbie's Hard Ginger Beer....YUM. — Crabbie’s Hard Ginger Beer….YUM.

And time to fuel up, thanks to the the Fidel Gastro food truck:

Pad Thai fries...which I can't get out of my mind. Damn you, Fidel Gastro! — Pad Thai fries…which I can’t get out of my mind. Damn you, Fidel Gastro!

Everyone has a VW hippie van, it seems. I see these things everywhere. Except my driveway, that is. 🙁

We checked out the merch tent, of course. But alas, as with Macca, the t-shirts did not inspire me to get out my wallet. How hard is it to design an attractive band shirt, I ask you? Apparently too hard for either of these artists…sigh. Actually there was a nice shirt design (rainbow-y, psychedelic-looking) at the Paul McCartney concert…but it only came in kids’ sizes. What does this say about my taste???

At least the band did not disappoint:

High energy show by The Temperance Movement

I love how close you can get to the band when at the CNE bandshell.

After a great show, it was back on the Go train to the car, then home.

And that is how to pace one’s self to get through 3 musical events over 4 steamy, energy-sapping days.

Rock on,

The WB

Pacing One’s Self – Part 1

On July 25, 2016July 26, 2016 By Widow BadassIn Good Times, MusicLeave a comment

Since Thursday Mizz J and I have been on a bit of a marathon, musically-speaking.

When not working, doodling in the drywall dust that covers every surface of my home, or obsessively watching Die Antwoord videos (Don’t ask, I can’t explain it. I can’t even figure out what they are rapping about half the time. In fact I understand the English lyrics in equal measure to the Afrikaans.), I took in a lot of live music Thursday to Sunday.

Thursday night was the long anticipated Paul McCartney show at the First Ontario Centre, in Hamilton.

Hamilton was…er…interesting. Plenty of street people. Even more so than Toronto, it seemed to me.

We got there early and, because it was so stinking hot outside, hung out in Jackson Square Mall beside the event location.

We had to wait for a bit to use the washrooms off of the food court as 3 of the 5 stalls were out of order. Not a good sign. One stall was occupied for a very long time. A mom and her 7 year old daughter were waiting there too, for the occupant – her other daughter, as it turned out. Finally she emerged, looking all of about 12 (Mizz J said she looked 14), and waving around a pregnancy test in progress. I don’t know what the verdict was or how it was received. It was so awkward I avoided any eye contact with the whole scene and thankfully we got our business done and outta there very soon after that.

And then there was Macca, worth every moment of heat, discomfort and being exposed to the seedier, sadder side of life:

Sir Paul put on an incredible 3 hour show without a break – not even to take a sip of water. For a brief moment there I too could see my future self as a 74 year old ball of vegetarian energy but then I remembered who I really was…*cough*carnivore*cough*.

Got back to the Village around 130 am and hit my new bed around 2 am:

True fact: the bedding cost more than the bed. But so pretty and worth every penny. More photos of my newly renovated bedroom and closet to come as I finish the room.

I will not lie. Up at 6 am, Friday was a struggle to get through. So much so that I despaired as to how I was going to manage Hillside Festival on Saturday and seeing the Temperance Movement at the Toronto Festival of Beer on Sunday. (And then back to work on Monday). It didn’t help that the temps were in the mid thirties (degrees Celsius) with the humidity making it feel like the forties. And both events were outdoors.

So Mizz J and I did the wise thing. We went to Hillside fairly early and left fairly early too – the heat and humidity were relentless and no amount of shade, breeze or misting could alleviate it – only make it barely tolerable.

Junkanoo at Hillside – they must of been dying in those costumes!

Mizz J in the Misting Tent right after we arrived

View of the Main Stage – notice the parched grass

Many more folk than this in the water as the day went on.

Adorning the Henry Kock Bike Lot — Adornment of the Henry Kock Bike Lot – I once took a gardening course with the late, great Mr. Kock

I really enjoyed the relaxed, inclusive and friendly vibe of Hillside. I kinda felt like I had found my tribe. Mizz J and I took in several workshops as well as overhearing some performances as we wandered around, trying to stick to whatever shade was available. I would go again, but this time take my bathing suit and maybe even camp there for the weekend.

But in the end the heat did us in, so we left a lot earlier than we had planned, to get into some air-conditioned comfort and recover for the next day’s festival in Toronto.

To be continued.

Rock on,

The WB

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Poisoned Pen Letter

On July 22, 2016July 22, 2016 By Widow BadassIn Hmmm?4 Comments

The most extraordinary thing happened to me this week.

I received a poisoned pen letter regarding my late husband.

It’s not extraordinary that I received communication from someone angry with JD. He must have left wreckage and chaos in his wake throughout his adult life, given his mental health issues. He certainly left enough for me to deal with.

To be frank, what is extraordinary is that I have not gotten more of this kind of stuff.

What has me puzzled is WHY NOW? JD has been gone for almost 3 years. What has triggered someone to put (poisoned) pen to paper and snail-mail me this anonymous note after all this time?

The writer’s intent is also to upset me, I believe.

Sorry dear writer, you will have to do better than this meagre offering.

Instead of being upset, I find myself quite intrigued to know more.

I feel like the plucky protagonist in my very own mystery story. How cool is that?

I hope I can inspire the writer to reach out to me again. We really should talk.

Rock on,

The WB

Jumpin’ June

On July 3, 2016July 3, 2016 By Widow BadassIn Goals & Dreams, Home Improvement, MBA, See the Beauty1 Comment

I had a feeling that June was gonna be a bit crazy and it did not disappoint.

First there was the wedding of the son of a good friend, which was delightful and took place on one of those perfect June days that make it such a popular month for nuptials.

Then there was prepping for renovations AND for leaving for Edmonton for my Convocation:

Accepting MBA degrees for both myself and JD.

It was emotionally draining, to say the least. But I was glad I did so that JD got his recognition. He received a spontaneous standing ovation and many eyes were filled with tears. The dean broke down several times while reading the short biography I prepared about JD. Afterwards so many strangers approached me to say how touched and inspired they were, and to offer me a hug.

After the ceremony, with JD's hood draped over my arm. — After the ceremony, with JD’s hood draped over my arm.

Meanwhile, back at Chez Badass floors were being sanded down and refinished! I came back home on a Sunday evening to my planned interior and exterior renovations in full swing.

There was nothing to do but put up with the disruption and hit the trails. Almost every night that week I was at the Dundas Conservation Area for the annual 4 Day-Evening Walk (a Dutch tradition brought home to Canada):

Walkers ahead of me got their Dutch on, wearing orange for the Dutch royal family (House of Orange). — Walkers ahead of me got their Dutch on, wearing orange (official colour of the walk) for the Dutch royal family (House of Orange).

Four 5 km walks earned me my Year 5 participation medal.

Renovation work continued, both inside and out.

New entrance doors and exterior lighting. — New entrance doors, just installed…and new exterior lighting (LED).

Another escape from all the dust and debris and flaking paint, onto the Speed River:

Kayak parking only...hehehe. — Kayak parking only…hehehe.

Breakfast on the water. A grain-free Morning Glory muffin.

Wish Floyd came with a cup holder. Don’t possess a thigh gap really – more of a tea gap 😉

When indoors, I have been working away at the Badass Budget and have set up another automatic savings account (Emergency Bucks) as a result, and in addition to my pre-existing Travel Bucks account. Lest I fritter away all my discretionary cash on stuff like these lovely Fluevogs:

Is this truly the last pair of shoes I will buy in 2016? Check back with me after my upcoming trip to the Netherlands.

And I have placed myself on a shoe moratorium for the remainder of 2016, after having to find new homes for my clothing and shoes during the apartment renovation. I’m not approaching Imelda Marcos territory with respect to shoe collecting but damn…I realized I do have many pairs….and many pairs I cannot or will not wear any longer. So I did a bit of purging in June also.

So badass yet so practical. Yes, those are skulls on the buckle.

And finally, on the last day of June, my dining room dreams came true as I took delivery of the table I had custom-made, from reclaimed threshing mill floor planks (hemlock):

Dining room furniture: check! — Renovate room and acquire dining room furniture: check!

A bit of mixed feelings on this one, as this room was last in regular use as my mom’s bedroom. But I know she would be very happy that I have a table again at last, for everyone to sit down at.

Party ready for my Canada Day baby's birthday on the 1st. — Party ready for my Canada Day baby’s birthday on the 1st.

Hope everyone had a lovely June and has an exciting July on deck!

Rock on,

The WB

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A Plan is Born

On May 21, 2016May 21, 2016 By Widow BadassIn Goals & Dreams, Roadtripping5 Comments

I love to plan things. This is no secret to those that know me. The J in my personality profile (INFJ) needs decisions to be made, like NOW.

The sooner I get shit nailed down, the better I like it. I’m OK with changing plans – even at the last moment – but I want there to be a plan in place to begin with. I am not happy with drifting along aimlessly. Course corrections/deviations are always allowed but there needs to be a flight plan first!

I have just come off of a long period of my life in which my ability to plan or control it was extremely limited – living with someone with OCD meant “the plan” was always gonna be his plan. And try as I might to have some control over my life and jointly plan our future, there was very little input I had as the disease had the final say on just about everything.

Then, after JD passed away I was left with the issues that the OCD had created…to clean up this huge mess literally and figuratively. But at the same time I was feverishly planning my new life as a widow.

Confession time: the planning actually started as JD’s disease progressed and my tiny fragile sliver of hope for his survival evaporated. That sounds cold but it is the truth. While caring for him as he withered away from the cancer, a part of my mind was also busy drafting a plan for dealing with the aftermath of his passing. This is how I was able to hit the ground running right away and get his messy, chaotic life and hoard cleaned up in just under a year. They say not to make any major decisions in the first year after a spouse passes away, but in my circumstances these decisions were absolutely necessary and thought out well in advance.

My new life plans only existed about a year or two out up until yesterday, and they lived in my head and nowhere else except for some brief mentions on ye olde blogge. I was flipping through the new National Geographic Travel Magazine while eating lunch at work when I came across this article:

Route 66: The Mother Road turns 90 this year.

Holey moley! It hit me all at once. In less than 10 years I will be retired from full-time work if all goes well. In 10 years Route 66 will be turning 100. And I will be 66 for part of that year. Getting my kicks on Route 66 when 66…how can I NOT do this?

As I was thinking this and looking at the article, I felt like I’d been really close to a lightning strike and a huge thunderclap was reverberating through my body. I knew I had to make a long-term plan to get from A (now) to B (The Mother of All Road Trips) successfully.

So then I got to thinking about retirement and how I don’t really have much of a plan from now until then either. Except for some vague thinking about what to fix on my building for the next couple of years AND to start putting the equivalent of my car payment into savings each month once Edward II the Sparkly Prius is paid off next December…

I realized I didn’t even know the year of my retirement off the top of my head, except that it is about 8 years away (that’s 2024 for those that are still reading).

So WB (I said to myself), how ARE you gonna get from here to adventuring off into the Western sunset in your hippie van/Airstream Bambi/ragtop convertible/Harley Davidson/Mercedes Sprinter Camper/whatever? Aha! The zygote of a game plan was conceived at the moment I asked the question.

That night the 10 Year Plan spreadsheet was born. Not only that, it’s fraternal twin (surprise!) – the Badass Budget – took its first breath as well. Both babies are doing well and Momma couldn’t be more thrilled. More about them later…

Rock on,

The WB

A-Z Blogging Challenge Reflections

On May 12, 2016 By Widow BadassIn Hmmm?, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Another April, another 26 posts.
Got through them again, without too much angst although some posts were pretty durn lean due to time and creativity constraints.
I am disappointed I didn’t get to visit as many blogs as I was intending to, ~~before the madness that is the challenge began~~ pre-April. No one to blame but myself.
However, I do have the list of 2016 participants bookmarked and it is my plan to dive in to it throughout the next 12 months to find more great bloggers to visit.

I am so very thankful to the A-Z Team for making this possible every year! I find this exercise revitalizes me and reminds me how much I get out of ~~spewing my guts on~~ keeping up ye olde blogge.

My goal for 2017 is to come up with a theme. There, I said it.

Rock on,

The WB

It’s been a Mother of a Day

On May 9, 2016 By Widow BadassIn Health Transformation, Hmmm?, Uncategorized2 Comments

I hope everyone had an absolutely delightful day yesterday because I know I did!

I had been dreading Mother’s Day a little as this year marked my first motherless Mother’s Day in 56 years. But the anticipation of how I would feel was, as usual, worse than the actual way I ended up feeling.

I was determined to make it a good day and that in itself paved the way for me to have a very good…no, great day! Because I had planned ahead to make Mother’s Day my bitch.

I woke up early , raring to clean and reseal the slate tiles in my bathroom. I also did laundry and finished binge-watching the rest of Season 2 of Grace and Frankie. Goddess bless Netflix, I say. And Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin and the writers and the rest of the cast. And yam lube and Count Drinkula and Hitler’s Circumcision. And so on.

Then I went to the Village Rec Centre and signed myself up for a 10 visit pass and got ready to attend my first drop-in fitness class. Of which I ended up being the only participant. SHIT. No hiding in the back or dogging it. I was the centre of the instructor’s attention. THE. WHOLE. CLASS. And today I hurt where I didn’t even know I had muscles. It was glorious. Especially watching Instructor Ian show off all his killer fitness moves (which I am supposed to be aspiring to perform myself, one day) as I was egging him on. Hah!

I kinda committed myself to trying out his yoga class tomorrow night too. Damn.

Anyhow, while I was wrecking myself at the Wreck Centre all hell was breaking loose back amongst the famille. Mizz J had been trying to reach me and I wasn’t answering my cell phone since I left it at home. As this was unusual behaviour for me, she enlisted her brother, Miztah K (lives 5 minute walk away), to come over to my place to recover my certain-to-be-dead body before she could drive across town to do it herself. Before a pack of wild cats came in to eat me, I suppose.

So this was the situation I dragged my sweaty self home to, after Instructor Ian handed me my ass.

Miztah K had told his sister that I was just probably out and about since there was no dead body (or cats) to be found in my place. So I found her making herself breakfast in my kitchen and relatively calm by the time I arrived back home.

The rest of the day was nice and peaceful. I made supper for us all, including Miztah K’s delightful girlfriend, Mizz C. I also made my kids work, carrying a bunch of stuff down to the basement in preparation for next month’s renovation of 3 rooms. No free lunch at Mom’s house…hehehe.

I was the beneficiary of the most wonderful Mom’s Day gifts. Behold:

108 bead Mala necklace created by Mizz J. So pretty!!! — 108 bead Mala (Tibetan rosary) necklace created by Mizz J. So meaningful and pretty!!!

Kayaking and hiking gear, colour-coordinated to go with Floyd the Pink Kayak. From Miztah K and Mizz C. So damn nice!!! — Kayaking and hiking gear – colour-coordinated to go with Floyd the Pink Kayak. From Miztah K and Mizz C. So damn nice and thoughtful!!!

After supper, it was time to ~~sleep through make fun of bitch about~~ watch a couple more installments yet in the never-ending James Bond film festival ongoing at Chez Badass. Roger Moore’s interminable reign had finally ended so it was Timothy Dalton’s highly forgettable turn. Next up is Pierce (Mamma Mia) Brosnan.

All I can say is I appreciate Daniel Craig more with each movie I watch in this series.

Hope you remembered your momma and/or your kids were good to you.

Rock on,

The WB

Survivor!

On May 2, 2016May 2, 2016 By Widow BadassIn Bruce Trail Adventure, Hmmm?, The Great OutdoorsLeave a comment

And congratulations to all my fellow survivors! We did it! Some of us did it again! (Year 2 for me.)

Yay everybody!!!

What a weekend for finishing up challenges this was. Mizz J and I got our Niagara section end-to-end badges on Saturday – look:

Yes, we were also awarded chocolate "Congratulations" bars. Which were inhaled immediately after this selfie. — We were also awarded chocolate “Congratulations” bars from Monk’s Chocolate. Which were inhaled immediately after this selfie.

Eighty kilometres down. Only 805 to go. Tobermory or bust! 😉

Saturday was another stellar hiking day. Eight Saturdays spent outdoors with nary a drop of rain. Incredible luck with the weather.

The previous week's hike, as captured by the Garmin. — The previous week’s hike, as captured by the Garmin.

Saturday's hike data. — Saturday’s hike data.

We saw at least a thousand of these. Trilliums - the provincial flower. — We saw at least a thousand of these in the woods. Trilliums – the provincial flower.

Only a trickle right now, but still more falling water.

Always seeing Lake Ontario through the trees and in the distance. — Always seeing Lake Ontario in the distance, through the trees.

Forest floor carpeted with trilliums and trout lilies. — The forest floor was carpeted with trilliums and trout lilies.

I think I’m suffering a bit of a post-challenge let-down right now.

Mizz J and I are wondering if to continue on our own or leave off hiking for a bit till the fall. The next few weekends are tied up with other scheduled events and by the time we are free to hike again, the heat/humidity and biting insects will be out in full force. It may be time to switch to other pursuits like kayaking instead. Oh goody!

Rock on,

The WB

Z is for…

On April 30, 2016 By Widow BadassIn Health Transformation, Hmmm?4 Comments

…Zen Habits.

I have been subscribing to Leo Baubata’s blog posts for years now.

Yesterday’s post on upward and downward spirals in health and productivity resonated with me more than usual.

I had noticed this tendency in myself many years ago. That I could be in a downward spiral with respect to health and emotional well-being until….little by little, tiny positive change by tiny positive change, I was spiraling my way back up again to a more positive, happier place.

This is a post that I could have written over 10 years ago (but not nearly as beautifully as Leo), except I wasn’t blogging then. (It wasn’t until 2009 that I joined the blogoverse in a real, committed way.)

Leo’s blog is all about changing your life one positive habit at a time. You don’t need to quit your job or leave your relationship or trek up a mountain and meet with a guru.

Although you may eventually do one or more of those things at some point along your journey, instead Leo asks you to make one small positive change at a time. Then build on that with another one. And another one. Until one day you notice you are living a very different (in a good way) life from one you were living a month or 6 months or a year ago. Because this is how he became fit, lost weight, quit smoking, got out of debt etc., etc. Read his story here.

Rock on,

The WB