Author: Widow Badass

U is for…

On By Widow BadassIn Hmmm?4 Comments

U

…Up.

Which I am, most of the time. I find it very uncomfortable to be “down”. When I am “down” I spend a lot of time and energy trying to get back to “up” again, because that is my preferred state of being.

I think people tend to fall into either category. I have seen people who had nothing to complain about dig deep into their memories for long-past grievances to recall, so that they can be “down” again, if life happens to going a little too smoothly for their liking at the moment.

On the other hand, I can see how a person who is naturally “up” can sugar-coat or view rather rosily a tough or even appalling situation because of how uncomfortable it is to feel “down”.  Been there, done that. Earned that T-shirt.

I could never understand why someone would voluntarily bring themselves down. But maybe it is not voluntary. Are our brains hard-wired for one preference or another?

Can we change, or is this something like handedness? Sure, you can struggle to use the non-dominant hand but will always prefer the other.

If anyone reading would like to respond as to whether they consider themselves an “up” or “down” person in the comments, I think it would make for an interesting impromptu poll.

The ideal (in my mind) would be to live in the moment and see each moment clearly for what it is. Take action if required – deal with it and…

…learn the lesson and rock on,

The WB

S is for…

On By Widow BadassIn Hmmm?, I Got Married, Uncategorized2 Comments

S

…Singleton Status

Last year during this challenge I was writing about how I was never going to marry again.

That still stands. I still feel this is the best situation for me, going forward. Two tours of duty in matrimonial land have been enough for this woman.

I had dinner with a friend last night who is in the same mental boat as I am. He lost his partner 22 years ago and has never felt the need to have that kind of committed relationship again since.

In chatting over Indian food last night, we both realized we had experienced very special, deep relationships with our significant others. Once-in-a-lifetime-if-you-are-that-fortunate relationships. When you have that and then lose it through the loss of your loved one, you don’t want to settle for anything less ever again. And frankly, you don’t want to try to look for that again with anyone else.

You are complete, as is. You and your memories. And you don’t want to sully those with a subsequent sub-par relationship. It wouldn’t be fair to either of you.

It is very hard to explain to someone who has never experienced this.

I’ve had many well-meaning friends and acquaintances tell me that I will find someone again, and not to stay alone for the rest of my days. I appreciate that they think I am lonely or sad, and are thinking only of my happiness.

But I am not lonely or sad. I am happy and content. In fact, any mention of having another relationship with a man causes a real visceral experience in my body – I actually get sick to my stomach at the thought. Talk about your gut reaction!

So, I still say never and my body agrees. I’m going with my gut on this one.

Rock on,

The WB

R is for…

On By Widow BadassIn Home ImprovementLeave a comment

R

…Round 2 of Renovation Madhouse!

This time last year I undertook several major renovation projects at my place – new upper and lower roofs; installation of solar panels; kitchen and bathroom “to the studs” teardown and remodel. And, as luck would have it – they all occurred at once! And I continued to live there the whole time!

So. Much. Fun.

Yet. I. Survived.

Never. Again. I. Said.

Hah!

Now Round 2 is about to begin – more exterior work including painting, new entrance lights, new entrance doors, and restoration of the clock in the clock tower of my building. Inside, I am doing some improvements in the basement for my tenants as well having work done on my own place.

Three more rooms in my little aerie will be getting the spa treatment – new electrical, new ceilings, refinished hardwood, walls prepped for painting, and the pièce de résistance…a walk-in closet in the room to become my bedroom!

This will leave only my living room as yet needing an overhaul, and I hope to be able to schedule that (if time and budget allows) for later summer/early fall.

It’s gonna be another busy, dusty spring at Chez Badass!

Rock on,

The WB

Q is for…

On By Widow BadassIn Bruce Trail Adventure, Health TransformationLeave a comment

Q

…Quads (of steel!)

Quadricep muscles of steel are what I am trying to earn through all my physical activities of late. Also, hamstrings of steel, calves of steel, and – might as well put it out there:  buns of steel – would be great too.

Between hiking up and down and all around the Niagara Escarpment for my Bruce Trail hikes, and my 5K Learn-to-Run class, I should be well on my way.

Developing my lower body in this way would be a nice complement to my ever-present upper back, shoulder and neck muscles of steel. You know the ones we modern humans get from being hunched over our electronic devices AND from carrying the troubles of the world on our shoulders …the ones I pay a registered massage therapist to tenderize beat into submission work on, on a monthly basis? Yeah, those.

If only I could learn to carry stress on my butt instead of my shoulders. I’m not saying it’s a Kardashian-worthy butt. There will be no champagne glasses resting comfortably back there any time soon. But there is junk in my trunk. Definitely enough to carry some stress back there instead of in my neck and shoulders, for some respite.

In the meantime, I will continue to forge me some legs of steel.

Rock on,

The WB

P is for…

On By Widow BadassIn Home Improvement, See the Beauty2 Comments

P

…Patio!

The return of decent weather means it’s time to get the patio functional again.

I made a few improvements this year – namely a rug, and a set of lights. But basically it is the same patio set and sun shade I have been enjoying since 2014.

Sorry I couldn't capture the lights perfectly. I don't have the skillz.
Sorry I couldn’t capture the lights perfectly. I don’t have the skillz.
Or the camera.
Nor the camera.
Still, I think you get the idea that this is one of my favourite hangouts in the warm weather.
Still, I think you get the idea that this is one of my favourite hangouts in the warm weather.

I was hoping to be able to afford a real railing this year but unfortunately I have other projects at Chez Moneypit that are taking precedence.

So no little ones, no pets, no dancing, no drinking to excess on the Badass Patio…yet again. Sigh.

Other than that, you are welcome to enjoy the patio with me.

Rock on,

The WB

O is for…

On By Widow BadassIn Hmmm?1 Comment

O

…Overbooked.

Last week I looked at my calendar and saw that I have to go out every night after work this week.

The old me wouldn’t have blinked an eye at this. The new me says that is way overbooked.

I like the way the new me thinks.

Now, to get the old me to stop doing this.

That is the challenge.

Challenge accepted.

Rock on,

The WB

N is for…

On By Widow BadassIn Bruce Trail Adventure, The Great OutdoorsLeave a comment

N

…Niagara region of the Bruce Trail.

Today was Hike #6 of 8:

Data from Hike #6
Data from Hike #6

I have to say that I have been pleasantly surprised by the beauty of the area. I mean, before this, when I thought of Niagara I thought of the falls, of course, and Niagara-on-the-Lake, and figured the rest of it looked mainly like this:

Acres of grape vines.
Acres of grape vines.

Although it can be densely populated in areas, and we did walk through or look down on many suburban neighbourhoods, we also were in many wild areas, like this:

P1010506

And this:

P1010487

And this:

P1010504

And we came upon many splendid waterfalls like this:

Ball's Falls. Notice the Canada Goose in the water at the edge of the falls.
Ball’s Falls. Notice the Canada Goose in the water at the edge of the falls. Also – sun’s out; guns out…hehehe.
What a badass bird.
What a badass bird. Casually grooming itself at the edge of peril.
Closeup of said badass fowl. Or is it a fowl badass?
Closeup of said badass fowl. Or is it a fowl badass?
Sign at Ball's Falls
Sign at Ball’s Falls
Ball's Grist Mill
Ball’s Grist Mill

Two more Saturdays of hiking and Mizz  J and I will have completed our end-to-end of the Niagara section of the trail. Someday I would like to come back and explore this area further.

Rock on,

The WB

M is for…

On By Widow BadassIn Go Back to School, Hmmm?, MBA2 Comments

M

…MBA

After 4 1/2 long grueling years, I have finally finished all of the course requirements for my Masters in Business Administration degree.

This past Wednesday, April 13, the powers that be at Athabasca University (AU) officially granted me my degree and said parchment is apparently on its way to me right now via snail mail. JD’s degree is coming to me too – shortly after his passing, AU contacted me to let me know that they would be granting his degree posthumously based on his stellar academic performance while he was alive. And to ask me to let them know when I was graduating, so that we could graduate together. Wasn’t that wonderful of them? I was very touched.

The official Convocation is going to be held in Alberta in June. I’ve already booked my flights and my hotel and rental car. To finally meet in person so many of my academic coaches, fellow graduates, and AU staff after interacting in a virtual environment for all these years is exciting, even for an introvert like me!

Before JD finagled me into this I started this journey, I had always thought that a business degree was not for me. I didn’t see myself as a “business person” at all. I saw myself as a scientist and a bit of an artist. I had some pretty strong ideas about what being in business was all about and I was having none of it.

How wrong I was about this.

My MBA studies have led to a deeper understanding of what business really is and (most importantly) can be, and has further shaped who I am and how I interact with this world. Whatever you may read or experience in the world of business, at business school there are strong underpinnings of ethics and corporate social responsibility in every subject area. Time and time again we were presented with examples of companies and business leaders that were not only financially successful but also good, thoughtful corporate citizens.

Unfortunately it is the Enrons and Chainsaw Als of this world that get most of the (bad) press. Because this is more interesting and sells more media than a little story about a little business doing good things?

Life is business and business is life. Think about this because I have, a lot. Read this next paragraph and think of yourself as a corporate entity (which you are because you literally have a body).

You have to come up with a product (yourself) that people are willing to invest in and “buy”, and market it accordingly. You have to decide how you are going to interact in this world with all of your stakeholders: your partners, suppliers, investors, customers, employees, alliances and competitors. You need to pay close attention to your financial data and set goals and targets – short, medium and long-range. You need to manage your resources effectively. You need to conduct yourself in an ethical, responsible and professional manner at all times. Some would disagree with this last statement, especially with their actions if not words but I am telling you YOU NEED TO DO THIS as a responsible, successful human being. It is your duty as a functioning member of society.

When you look at it this way, we are all business people – in the business of being humans. Who wouldn’t benefit from a business degree to help manage You, Inc?

Rock on,

The WB

L is for…

On By Widow BadassIn See the BeautyLeave a comment

L

…Lovely things.

I do love lovely things. I love to surround myself with lovely things. They bring me limitless joy as I admire their soothing and serene beauty.

What I am especially enamored of right now is this:

Ahhhhhh...
Ahhhhhh…

As soon as I saw this pattern for bedding on the Zara Home website, I knew I had to have it. And I wasn’t even going to wait for it to GO ON SALE. I know – I’m shocked at myself too.

I’d had a beautiful water colour floral duvet cover in my mind’s eye for several months already and was hoping I would come across one for real in the spring.

And behold, here it is:

My dream, realized.
My dream, realized. How lovely is this?

This spring I am planning on renovating another couple of rooms at my place, including my bedroom. So my new lovely duvet cover will eventually reside in a room deserving of its loveliness. Until then, it is the bright spot in an otherwise sad, scarred, closet-less, former office space.

My dog, Placeholder, is allowed to enjoy the loveliness too. Only because she is so well-behaved and a very clean sort of dog.
My dog, Placeholder, is allowed to enjoy the loveliness too. Only because she is so well-behaved and a very clean sort of dog.

Rock on,

The WB