Author: Widow Badass

L is for the Lake – Preparing for a Badass Retirement #AtoZChallenge

On By Widow BadassIn A2Z Challenge Post, Goals & Dreams, Good Times, Retirement, The Great Outdoors8 Comments
L is for living the Lake Life

When my sisters and I were little, my parents and grandparents would go for their annual 2 week vacation together. Each year during that time period we would head up to Mattawa, to a rented cottage. This was before the tent-trailer/trailer camping phase (sans grandparents) of our lives began.

I absolutely loved staying at the Blanchard family’s cottages, located on a private lake.

Every (very early) morning was spent watching the sun rise from our little aluminum boat, poles expectantly dangling above the water. Every evening was spent the same way, this time watching the sun go down and using a flashlight to get back to the dock in the near darkness.

We caught so much fish we had it for breakfast (catfish with our eggs and bacon) and supper (perch, bass or pike). At first it was great. But after a week of this we kids used to beg Mom: “Please, no more fish! Can’t we have pork chops tonight please???”

Days were spent exploring the property and swimming in the lake. There was a little pond at the end of a trail in the bush near the cottage, that housed the baby fish used to stock the lake. I loved to go there and check on their progress.

There was a tiny tuck shop at the main house and every day Mom would give us a dime (a whole dime!!!) with which to buy ourselves a treat – it ended up being a chocolate bar, usually. This was unbelievably thrilling to us as kids as we didn’t have any sweets at our house, except for special occasions.

My middle sister (the youngest was still too young to accompany us) would invariably pipe up that she wanted whatever I was getting, which earned her the nickname “Me-Too” from Mrs. Blanchard.

Once back home, I would often lay awake at night and relive those carefree, happy weeks every summer at the cottage. I felt unbearably homesick for that part of the province at times, and vowed I would find a way to live there – on a lake – when I grew up.

Well, I grew up and did not end up north of here, living lakeside, for a multitude of reasons.

But little Me-Too managed to do it! And I was reminded of my childhood vow when I visited her and her wife at their lovely property last summer.

Corry Lake Sunset

This got me thinking that I have nothing stopping me from relocating to a waterfront property, once I am no longer tied to an area due to proximity to work. There are so many lakes in this province of mine (including 4 Great Lakes) that it will be hard to choose the exact “right” one for me.

For sure, my dream property has to be close to hiking and walking trails and be ideal for kayaking, stand-up paddle boarding, and swimming.

(Fishing has lost its thrill for me so that doesn’t factor into my decision…something I never could have foreseen. I haven’t fished in years and last time I did I surprisingly felt so sorry for the beautiful fish I hauled out of the lake, I released it right away – much to my first husband’s chagrin. So I started leaving my pole on the shore and bringing a book onto the boat with him instead.)

Obviously a move like this is a huge decision and one that requires a lot of thought and research. Wouldn’t it be funny if it became my turn to be “Me-Too”?

Rock on,

The WB

K is for Knapsack – Preparing for a Badass Retirement #AtoZChallenge

On By Widow BadassIn A2Z Challenge Post, Goals & Dreams, Good Times, Retirement, Roadtripping, The Great Outdoors1 Comment
K is for Knapsack, which means hitting the road (or trail)!

When I see my knapsack I think of hiking trails, road trips and camping.

One of my biggest dreams for my retirement is being able to “hit the road” and explore North America (and it’s byways and hiking trails), for several weeks at a time. I haven’t quite settled on whether I will do this from an RV (but quite small, like a VW microbus) or haul a trailer behind me (also small, like a T@B or T@G or – if I win a lottery – an Airstream Bambi!), or just stay at motels. It may end up being “all of the above”, depending on the type/length of trip and as I try things out to figure on what’s best for me.

I camped a lot growing up, and also as a young wife and mother. Tents, trailers, tent trailers…I’ve experienced them all. I loved the camping life and am confident I will again. I have found people who camp to be generally the friendliest and most helpful of people. Wherever we went, campers were always there for each other.

However, I’m a bit nervous about hauling something behind me as I’ve never done it solo. Luckily, there are support systems out there for female camping enthusiasts, like Sisters on the Fly and Girl Camper.

I believe SOTF will even assign the newbie a mentor to offer encouragement and answer questions about camping and hauling a trailer, as a lone female. I like their rules for their outings: “No Men, No Kids, Be Nice, Have Fun.” They are big on “me-time” and getting together as women-only to rejuvenate and re-energize, sans daily responsibilities – hence the “no men, no kids” rule. And their motto: “We have more fun than anyone.” It’s a group I think I will explore further as I get closer to retirement. From the information on their website (and the pictures of the so-cute decked-out trailers – many vintage), it certainly does look like they have a lot of fun. And you don’t even need to own a trailer or even a tent for that matter, to be a Sister.

Girl Camper (Motto: Going places. Doing things.) offers a regular podcast on all things “girl camper”, no surprises there. I’ve listened to a few podcasts so far and the interchange between the host (Janine Pettit) and the guest speaker is often a real hoot. These are the campers and camping enthusiasts I remember from my younger days! Having fun and living life, telling funny stories around the nightly campfire, and always available to help a fellow camper out.

Yep, that’s my tribe.

Rock on (and don’t forget your knapsack!),

The WB

 

 

 

 

J is for Joining – Preparing for a Badass Retirement #AtoZChallenge

On By Widow BadassIn A2Z Challenge Post, Good Times, Retirement2 Comments
J is for Joining

If there is no one available to share one’s interests (and that new-found free time), retirement could end up being a bit lonely, even for an introvert like me.

I’m already experiencing that to some degree. I have a hard time finding people to accompany me to some of the events I am interested in. Especially live music shows or festivals. Friends my age don’t always share my taste in or passion for live music. Friends that are younger than me don’t necessarily have the free time or cash to spare.

I don’t have a problem attending these events alone if there is a band I just have to see. However, it is much nicer to do this with other people. And wouldn’t you know it – there’s an app for just these types of situations. Meet Meetup.com!

I haven’t joined yet but I have creeped looked on the website for what is going on in my area. There are local meet-ups for hiking, book clubs, art, writing, language and culture, sports, travel…for just about everything.

Anyone can start a Meetup group and start attracting other like-minded individuals to…well…meet up, in real life! Meetup membership is free, and organizers may charge a fee for joining their group or certain events, to cover the cost. The basic plan for an organizer is about 10 bucks, USD per month. So, not outrageous especially if participants kick in a few bucks at each event to keep the group going.

Community centres also offer many diverse activities (also for a fee, albeit usually pretty reasonable) for retirees. There’s one within walking distance to me that also has a pool and fitness centre attached. I look at the quarterly activities guide that is published and see daily events and classes that I would love to attend if only the times offered didn’t conflict with this earning-a-living thing I am still involved with…Ahhh, someday!

Rock on,

The WB

I is for Interests – Preparing for a Badass Retirement #AtoZChallenge

On By Widow BadassIn A2Z Challenge Post, Goals & Dreams, RetirementLeave a comment
I is for Interests and staying Interesting!

Interests keep us interesting.

Interests keep us engaged and keep our minds active.

I is also for Internet – which means you can still pursue interests and be part of a community even if getting out and about becomes more challenging while aging.

Have you ever met an older person who spends all their time with you going over their past and talking about themselves (and people they know but you don’t) and never once asking about you and your life? And when you do get a chance to talk and update them with what you are doing, they can’t ever get it straight or remember what you told them (because they weren’t really listening, I think). I have met some people like this.  I hear the same stories every time I visit. And I smile and nod and listen patiently and plan my escape.

I’m not 100% sure why this happens but I think a lot of it has to do with being housebound and spending too much time watching drivel on TV. We turn inward instead of staying engaged and outward-focused.

I never want to be that old person.

My mother was never that old person. My stepdad is not that old person.

I hope that by pursuing various interests (of which I have an unlimited supply, it seems some days) I can escape that fate.

If not, I hope my kids are around to notice and then kick my ass (or at least get me to shut up).

Rock on,

The WB

H is for Health – Preparing for a Badass Retirement #AtoZChallenge

On By Widow BadassIn A2Z Challenge Post, Goals & Dreams, Health Transformation, Retirement2 Comments
Without health, there is no real wealth.

Health is wealth. The kind of wealth you take for granted if you have been reasonably healthy throughout life. The kind of wealth you didn’t realize you possessed until it is taken away from you.

What is the purpose of scrimping and saving throughout life, of putting off fantastic experiences, of delaying travel and life’s little luxuries, if you finally retire and the state of your health doesn’t allow you to enjoy any of the above?

Most of us no longer physically labour throughout our lives. That can be a good thing as we can arrive at retirement without the damage and aches from a lifetime of punishing our bodies each day. But it is often a bad thing as we enter retirement from a lifetime of being mostly sedentary at work, and then ending our days flopped out on the couch. Our muscles atrophy from lack of use, and our range of motion becomes increasingly limited.

I am fighting this right now. Since February I have been receiving physiotherapy and doing daily homework exercises to regain full use of my left shoulder. I am happy to report, that after much hard work, I have regained what seems to me to be full (albeit still somewhat painful at times) range of motion with my left arm. YES!

I am also working on regaining at least some of my lost youthful flexibility and balance through the practice of yoga and barre exercises. And I am currently training for my fifth (or is it sixth? Jeez, I can’t keep track…) half-marathon event, taking place in June. I plan to mostly walk this one. However, I recently started incorporating some sprinting intervals in my training walks thanks to OKs from my docs (post-TIAs, described here and here) and this article: The Best Exercise for Aging Muscles. So I might be able to break up my 21.1K walk with some periodic running time by the time the Niagara Falls Women’s Half Marathon rolls around.

Cautionary Tale: my maternal grandmother had decided in her 70s, that after a lifetime of raising kids and keeping house, she was now a retired lady of leisure and therefore finished with cooking and house-cleaning. She entered a retirement facility where everything was looked after for her, and guess what happened? In a very short time she was no longer physically capable of doing much of anything. And her mind deteriorated along with her body.

This, my friends, will not be me if I can at all help it.

Rock on,

The WB

 

 

G is for Goals – Preparing for a Badass Retirement #AtoZChallenge

On By Widow BadassIn A2Z Challenge Post, Goals & Dreams, RetirementLeave a comment
G si for Goals, Baby!

I’m a goal setter. You might have guessed that by now if you read ye olde blogge regularly. I don’t see me setting less goals once I retire. In fact, I see even more of this happening.

I come by this naturally.

My mother was forever learning new things and setting goals for herself.

Mom had a bad back and went through several surgeries in her 30s and 40s. In her early 50s she was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease and told she’d be in a wheelchair within 5 years. Once the doctor told her she couldn’t injure her back any further (so she might as well do whatever she wanted), Mom trained for and obtained her lifeguard certification (at age 54) and started teaching aqua aerobics. This led to her eventually supervising the pool full-time at a local seniors’ facility. When my dad died suddenly, her back flared up again and she had to leave that job.

Still not in a wheelchair, she started working at my (then) workplace, in a support role. Then her cancer diagnosis put her into an actual retirement.

Even then she was into doing new things. She decided to take up the guitar and taught herself some new crafts. As I mentioned a few days earlier on ye olde blogge, she also took up volunteering at her local cancer clinic and in Emerg.

In her “spare time”, she knit and crocheted chemo caps and squares to be sewn into warm blankets for people undergoing their infusions.

Still not in a wheelchair, she and my stepdad enjoyed travelling with their camping group and spending summers down at the lake in their ever-changing lineup of travel trailers. Mom walked or biked around the park every day to keep fit.

She didn’t actually end up in a wheelchair until the last few months of her life, and then only when she became too tired to walk more than a few steps at a time. She was 79 years old and finally in that damn wheelchair, 25 years later.

Even after she refused further treatment and knew she was dying shortly, she was still knitting and crocheting for her first great-grandbaby. To add variety to her day, Mom had also taken up another new hobby to keep her mind busy as her body was failing her – colouring in adult colouring books! My son framed 3 of her coloured-in mandala pages as gift for my stepdad, at her request. She had a goal to complete this before she died so he could have this as a Christmas gift from her. Mom died a week before Christmas 2015 but those mandalas were completed first. Oh, yes!

See what I mean about goals? With an example like that to follow, I can’t NOT have any no matter what age or condition I am in.

Rock on,

The WB

F is for Flexibility – Preparing for a Badass Retirement #AtoZChallenge

On By Widow BadassIn A2Z Challenge Post, Goals & Dreams, Retirement2 Comments
F is for the flexibility needed to bend (not break) in the storm.

Housekeeping AGAIN (sigh): People (not me anymore) are still facing the white screen of death when trying to comment, unfortunately. I will try to figure this out this weekend though I don’t know where to begin. Please bear with me – I love your comments! I’m not even getting spam anymore. Who knew I would ever miss spam?!?!?!?

I have decided to live until at least 90, then re-evaluate my situation every 10 years after that. Of course, this flies in the face of my shitty family genetics, which includes lots of cancer and heart disease. No matter.

Hehehehe.

So that means I will be retired for a long, long time.

A lot can happen during that amount of time – a lot that I won’t be able to plan for. Think about how much the world has changed in the past 35 years. Try to imagine how much it will change during the next 35 years.

I think it is of the utmost importance to remain flexible at all times, and I ain’t talking about yoga. It’s all well and good to have a plan for retirement but shit will does happen. So contingencies and adaptability are musts.

I usually like to have Plans B, C and maybe even D as backups when enacting a major Plan A scenario. I imagine the worst that could happen if Plan A didn’t work out…can I live with having to enact Plan B instead?

Let’s say for some reason I had lost all of my retirement savings and had to rely only on the Canada Pension. My Plan B would be to liquidate my assets (my home being the major one) to free up some spare cash, find a cheap apartment (or room) to rent and maybe even pick up some work if I wanted some mad money (or the Canada Pension went belly up). I’d scale back my lifestyle as much as I had to…it isn’t grand to begin with, but I could always go back to the way I lived when I was poorer. I know I would survive, and still find life cool and interesting. Because I have done this throughout my life.

I can’t predict the future (damn damn damn) but I predict I can get through life. I’ve managed so far despite abusive relationships, little money, and shouldering most, if not all, of the load. See this post.

I know I have that resilience and flexibility, that adaptability that is needed to weather life’s storms now, at my current age.

I hope I can retain this going forward. Attitude is everything…nay…it’s the ONLY thing that we have total control over.

Rock on,

The WB

E is for Experiences – Preparing for a Badass Retirement #AtoZChallenge

On By Widow BadassIn A2Z Challenge Post, Bruce Trail Adventure, Goals & Dreams, Good Times, Retirement, Roadtripping4 Comments
E is for Experiencing Life More Deeply

First – Housekeeping: for the past couple of days myself and some readers have been experiencing trouble making or replying to comments on ye olde blogge. I replied to 2 comments this morning without issue. This is since upgrading to the latest version of WordPress. I hope this means the problem is resolved. If you do get the “white screen of death” when trying to publish a comment, please try again. It has worked for me the second time, each time. I am now in the habit of copying my comment before hitting publish, just in case. But I had no issues this morning and am hopeful this means things are back to normal now.

Retirement is a time for experiencing things you didn’t have time for when working. Like taking a month-long road trip across Canada. Or volunteering your time in a developing nation. Or participating in a 10 day Vipassana retreat. Or going to India to study yoga. Or visiting Australia, New Zealand and Japan – all in one trip.

Or committing to an intense, time-consuming goal. Like training for a full marathon, or committing to do every race in the Rock ‘n Roll Half Marathon series. Or hiking the Bruce Trail in its entirety in one year. Or spending a whole week just drawing and painting. I could go on but I think you get the picture.

These things are infinitely more do-able with that extra 40 hours per week and unlimited (hehehe) vacation days.

These are just some of the ideas I have rolling around in my brain. I am sure if I gave it some more time and thought I could come up with a list as long as my arm of experiences I would like to commit to. Or at least investigate further.

I plan on being very open to new experiences and to keep on saying yes! to them for as long as I can. This widow has a lot of catching up to do, once she lifts her nose away from the grindstone.

Rock on,

The WB

 

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D is for Defining – Preparing for a Badass Retirement #AtoZChallenge

On By Widow BadassIn A2Z Challenge Post, Hmmm?, Retirement6 Comments
D is for defining what retirement means to you (and only you!).

What constitutes “retirement”?

How does one define retirement? If you retire from your job and then pick up some part-time work, are you still retired? If you go back to full-time work for a contract position are you still retired? If you take up other work, or a hobby becomes a paid gig, are you still retired?

This argument discussion is played out brilliantly here, at Our Next Life – a delightful blog I came across recently. Mr. and Ms. Our Next Life are a young couple who are planning on retiring early – later this year in fact, at the tender ages of 38 and 41.

It is definitely worth a read. Go ahead, I’ll be here when you come back:

https://ournextlife.com/2017/03/29/retirement-police/

I like Ms. ONL’s definition of retirement: I define retirement not as playing shuffleboard or any other tired old images, but as leaving your primary career to do the things you’d rather be doing.

And really, why are we arguing about this? Who the hell cares what constitutes retirement, and who are these retirement police anyways?!

I’m retired if and when I say so, no matter what I happen to be doing at the time. So long as it’s not what I have been doing full-time for the past 30+ years for my career. If we don’t agree, what are you gonna do about it? Fire me???

Wait, you can’t…because I. WILL. BE. RETIRED.

Rock on,

The WB

C is for Community – Preparing for a Badass Retirement #AtoZChallenge

On By Widow BadassIn A2Z Challenge Post, Goals & Dreams, Hmmm?, Retirement2 Comments
C is for (giving back to your) Community

Often when people retire they offer to work for free (volunteer) as a way of staying active and involved and giving back to the community. Volunteering can also be a way to find a “community” of like-minded (or not) souls and there is also the  potential for growing your social network. You may even end up with paid work as a result. I know many people that this has happened to.

Regardless, volunteering is as good for the volunteer as the recipient of the free labour, from what I have seen. My dear late mother (and long-departed father too, for that matter) loved to volunteer. Her diagnosis of non-Hodgkins lymphoma meant the end of her working life and the beginning of her volunteering at both the Emergency Department and the Cancer Clinic at her local hospital, when her health allowed.

Mom volunteered a couple of days per week up until the last year of her life, when her own cancer finally got the upper hand for the last time. Because she was dealing with cancer at the same time she was volunteering, she was especially empathetic and effective in helping others navigate their own cancer journey while at the clinic. And I think being needed and appreciated as a volunteer helped Mom stay engaged with life and gave her the purpose she still needed despite no longer having the energy for full-time work. She had a couple of long-lasting and spontaneous remissions during her 15 year battle, which baffled the oncologist and led her to remark: I don’t know what you’re doing, but just keep doing it! I’d like to think her volunteering contributed in some way.

I also have plans to volunteer once retired. Because I’ve experienced so much death during the last 4 years, I’ve come to realize that I am someone who can handle that situation better than others. Somehow I can manage to keep my own emotions on the back burner and focus instead on ensuring the dying person is heard and has their needs met.

I am not afraid of death or dying. I’ve looked into how I could translate this “talent” of mine into a volunteer opportunity, because in our death-phobic society there are not many that want to or are capable of spending time with a dying person. Let’s face it –  we are all in the process of dying as long as we are living – just some of us are facing it sooner than others. I believe I will end up volunteering for a local hospice when my working life is over. If I don’t die first (hehehe). And this is how I plan to give back to my community once full-time work life is over.

Rock on,

The WB