2018 Intentions – Spring Equinox Update

On March 21, 2018March 22, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Artistic Endeavours, Blogging, Goals & Dreams, Health Transformation, Mindfulness18 Comments

Yesterday being the first day of Spring, I took stock of where I was at with respect to the intentions I set at the Winter Solstice. Seemed like an appropriate date, after all.

This is where I initially put them, on Ye Olde Blogge: here

So here is where I am at, as of this week:

Blogging – 100% at posting at least once per week (Yay!). I am having slow but steady success at connecting with other like-minded bloggers/readers, which suits an introvert like me just fine. Quality over quantity, I say.

Reading – Thanks in no small part to 2 glorious weeks reading on the beach in Barbados (A book a day, people. A. Book. A. Day.), I am already at 30 books. My goal for this year is 50 books. Should be a slam-dunk. (I’m WidowBadass on GoodReads, in case you want to connect there.)

reading on the beach — Looking up from my day’s book. This year I burned through Canadian mystery author Louise Penny’s series on Chief Inspector Armand Gamache. Recommended.

Mindfulness – I’m not meditating as much as I think I should be/could be doing. Since my winter holiday, I have fallen off the daily meditation wagon. This will be corrected!

Financial Security – I have a goal for this year to pay down an additional 10% of my humongous demand loan, on top of my regularly scheduled payments towards it. As of this week, I am 27% of the way towards that 10% number! Which is right on track for this quarter – even a tick ahead! How am I achieving this money mastery, you may be asking? Well, let me tell ya! By logging all of my discretionary spending (to gain awareness and accountability), and by the old cowboy trick of doubling my money by folding it in half and sticking it back into my pocket instead of spending it. Oh ho ho. Also I gave up cable (I don’t watch enough TV to make it worthwhile) and I no longer go to the salon twice a month to get my (once acrylic) nails done. Yep. I am au naturel – a veritable woodland goddess. And I’m back to scrutinizing grocery store purchases instead of throwing whatever takes my fancy (looking at you, cherries in winter at $9.99 per pound!) into my cart. And I’m brown-bagging it almost daily. Like in the bad old days. Little savings that really add up. Every payday I go to the bank and make a lump sum payment on the demand loan – and that, my friends, is satisfying beyond belief because it goes directly against the principal.

Intuitive Processes – become proficient at Tarot. Like Mindfulness, I’ve let this go a bit since coming back from Barbados. I was working with the cards daily but then I stopped and can’t figure out why. Something else to improve upon.

Health – Oh boy, I have been doing a lot of thinking about this one. Also plenty of moving around (Yay!). I exceeded 10K steps most days despite all that ~~laying around like a beer drinking slug~~ reading I did in Barbados. My blogger friend Karen, of Profound Journey, made an excellent post about Intuitive Eating a few weeks back. I remembered that I used to own a copy of that book when it first came out. Since dieting has not worked for me (*cough*anybody*cough*), and I’ve been exemplifying the definition of insanity for many years, by doing the same thing – dieting – over and over again, and expecting a different result, I was moved to repurchase this book AND the workbook. I’m working through the exercises in the book and allowing my body to tell me what to eat and when to eat it. I can’t fail at this any worse than I have failed at dieting, I figure.

Elevenses — My body has been telling me I want this. I’ve rekindled a long-lost love for “elevenses” – specifically, hot milky tea (or coffee) with a couple of these (OK, OK…sometimes four) biscuits. Damn fine, I say. Which carbs-watching, grains-scoffing, dieting me would never have allowed myself to have. At least not without a shit-ton of guilt.

I’m also still doing the mindful yoga and the Jessica Smith YouTube videos. I’ve recently added her workouts with free weights and also some balance work. This may sound a bit strange, but I’ve always loved working out with weights. And like most things I enjoy, I rarely make time for them. WTF? Why??? See also meditation, and tarot, and…

Art – I have to mark myself as “needs improvement” for this intention, too. I even brought a small sketchbook and pencil with me to Barbados but never so much as doodled the whole 2 weeks I was on vacation. See “A. Book. A. Day.”, above.

So there it is. I’ve taken my inventory and given myself good marks for blogging, reading, financial security and physical activity. I need to step it up with respect to mindfulness, tarot and art. Health is a mixed bag. Good marks for exercising. Still weigh the same as I did at the Winter Solstice.

Next check-in: Summer Solstice.

Rock on,

The WB

SaveSave

The Freewheelin’ Widow Badass

On March 15, 2018 By Widow BadassIn A2Z Challenge Post, Blogging22 Comments

Eek! It’s mid-March already. The A-Z Blogging Challenge for 2018 starts in a couple of weeks and I:

Haven’t signed up yet.
Haven’t come up with a theme.

I like this challenge because it:

Is a definite challenge to blog on the regular like this.
Makes the challenge even more of one by having to tie each post to a specific letter of the alphabet.
Invariably leads me to other A-Z participants who are an inspiration and joy to read and discover.
Makes me fall in love with ye olde blogge again, every damn time.

Here is what we are looking at, for this year:

Last year, I did well (in my inflated opinion) with a theme, for the first time. 2017 was my 3rd year participating, and the first with a definite theme in mind. Having a theme (Preparing for a Badass Retirement) was actually helpful as I could plan ahead a bit as to what I was going to blog about, for each letter of the alphabet as it came up during the challenge.

Because I had to figure out if it would even work, to make each letter be the start of a word related to my theme.

In advance.

So I could think about it, and jot down ideas and stuff.

As I am typing these very words I am pondering why I just can’t come up with 26 unrelated yet alphabetically driven post subjects ahead of time. You know, like REAL bloggers do? I believe it’s called an editorial calendar. Or so I’ve heard. Ahem!

I ~~am pretty sure I~~ AM going to sign up again. I’d hate to break the streak I’ve got going. Although I am theme-less, so far. And will probably stay that way.

Prior to 2017, I’ve freewheeled it. Yep. Just used the letter of the day and blasted out whatever was rolling around my monkey mind at the time, that tied into the letter. Twenty six days of a stream-of-alphabetized-consciousness. Hoo doggie. Doesn’t that sound a treat?

This year it looks like the Freewheelin’ Widow Badass will ride again! Oh goody, you are saying to yourself, remembering the drivel of previous offerings. Not that you actually remember because none of them were memorable, so there’s that tender mercy at least.

Come back in April and come back often! Around Chez Badass at A-Z Challenge Time, you never know what you are gonna get.

(Or, you could sign up for email notification of new posts! Check out the subscription box on the right sidebar of ye olde blogge. That way I show up at your house instead. Not at all as creepy as I just made it sound!)

Rock on,

The WB

SaveSave

The Trip after THE TRIP: To the Hyde Collection

On March 11, 2018March 11, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Artistic Endeavours, Good Times, Roadtripping, See the Beauty9 Comments

Just before leaving for Barbados, I learned that a museum in upstate New York was hosting an exhibition of Alphonse Mucha’s works, until March 18. So I knew I had to work in a trip shortly after returning home. I asked my intrepid beach travel buddy, Mizz CJ, if she was interested in accompanying me, and got an affirmative once I mentioned the art museum was in the Hyde family home. I didn’t even have to mention the world class collection of art – I had her at “historic home”, apparently.

So, off I hop onto the interwebs, to find us accommodations:

Package offered at the Queensbury Hotel, in Glen Falls. Also: historic AF. Win-win.

After a scant week of work, I was off again for another 2 days – this time driving to Glens Falls, NY.

The weather gods were with us on this trip – no snow, sunny, clear dry streets and highways, and above freezing. We got to the hotel in time for happy hour.

House red in Fenimore’s Pub at the Queensbury – delicious. The hanger steak with parmesan frites I ordered from the pub wasn’t too shabby either!

Our room was newly renovated and overlooked the park. We really enjoyed our stay at the Queensbury and would come back.

Night view from our room. Pardon the reflection.

After a scrumptious breakfast the next morning (the pork sausage with sage – to die for), we made it to the Hyde Collection, nearby.

Entrance via the Education Wing and Exhibition space, attached to the former Hyde home.

I loved seeing the full sized Mucha posters, as they would have hung on the exterior walls in Paris, advertising Sarah Bernhardt’s latest plays. There were also some creatively framed pieces, and actual paintings and sketches, showing the range of Mucha’s talent.

The house itself was lovely and the art collection of the previous owners was displayed with their furnishings. And what a collection: Rubens, Rembrandt, Picasso, Degas, Renoir, Botticelli, El Greco, Seurat, Whistler, Homer…and they are still adding to it, with modern and contemporary artists.

The house is on an estate, along with 2 other homes that belonged to Mrs. Hyde’s sisters’ families. The plan is to eventually open all 3 homes up to the public and restore the gardens.

Behind the house still exists the original source of the family’s wealth – the pulp and paper mill.

Unfortunately I couldn’t take any pictures inside, but I did pick up a book on Mucha before we left to head home through the Adirondacks.

Lovely museum. I would definitely go back to it, and Glens Falls and surrounding area.

Now I am home to stay for a while, and settling back into domesticity. I used the self-clean feature on my oven for the first time ever today.

That white stuff is the ash left over after the oven cleaned itself.

I’ve never had a self-cleaning oven before. I am used to cleaning my oven the old-fashioned way – by moving to a new house and leaving the dirty one behind. 😉

I like this new way.

Rock on,

The WB

Year of the Dog?

On March 2, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Adventures with dogs, Goals & Dreams8 Comments

One of the thrills for me on my recent trip to Barbados was meeting and being greeted by a dog during my morning beach/boardwalk strolls.

I didn’t meet a lot of dogs on the island but there were 2 (accompanied by their owners) that I saw a few times in the early hours of the day. One was quite elderly and it was sad and painful to watch it hobble along the beach beside its ever watchful mistress.

I was thrilled beyond measure when this dog went out of its way to greet me one morning. It even pressed itself against my leg while I was petting it. Swoon!

This encounter flared up the pilot light of my dog-love furnace. So much so that I have started stalking area humane society adopt-a-dog pages, my thinking being that I could adopt an older dog NOW, that wouldn’t need so much care and training as a new puppy (my original “someday when I am retired” plan).

Unfortunately any suitable dogs I found (in terms of small size and being less allergenic i.e. non-shedding) were loaded with lots of baggage. There were 2 rescues from a puppy mill – neither were house-trained, or knew how to walk on a leash, and one was blind. The recommendations from the humane society were that these dogs needed to be brought into homes that already had a dog, to show them how to be a pet.

Then there was another little fellow, who was used to living in an apartment, whose owner passed away. He needed expensive daily medication to be administered and was prone to seizures. I thought yeah, there’s potential there…and then I saw that his adoption was pending. OK, moving on…

Moving on, there was nothing else that would have been suitable for my home and current lifestyle. Which I guess is for the best. I don’t have a fenced yard and I live downtown, in a second floor apartment.

I also have a jam-packed year in terms of work projects on my plate. Which means there will even more days when I have to leave early/work late, and come in on weekends to get caught up on regular work. Activities not conducive to pet ownership. Especially not pets that need extra care. Like rescues or a new puppy.

Yet, for a few brief moments, I thought this could be my Year of the Dog.

Oh, I’ll probably keep stalking those Humane Society web pages, but I doubt I’ll find that perfect low-maintenance, non-shedding little dog of my dreams. She already exists, but only in my dreams.

Yesterday was Lucy’s birthday. She would have been 18.

Rock on,

The WB

Home – The Changing Seasons for February 2018

On February 25, 2018February 25, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Good Times, Mindfulness, See the Beauty14 Comments

I flew back to Canada on Friday evening, my 2 weeks in Barbados having come to an end.

I have to say that 2 weeks was the perfect amount of time to be away. Last year I felt that 1 week was just too short but I wondered if 2 weeks on the beach would be too much.

It wasn’t. It was perfect.

Boardwalk, South Coast Barbados — Sunrise skies as seen from the Boardwalk

I was and still am so grateful to be able to take a winter vacation to somewhere warm. Even though this was my 3rd year to head south to Barbados, I still pinched myself daily during my sunrise strolls, at my good fortune to be outside in sandals, tank top and skort…at 6 am, in February.

Barbados sunrise on the south coast — The beginning of another beautiful Bajan day on the south coast.

By week 2 my friend and I were ready to get our relaxed butts off of our beach loungers and do some island exploring. We booked a half day tour of Hunte’s Gardens and St. Nicholas Abbey (with a stop at Bathsheba and the Morgan Lewis windmill).

towering palms Hunte's Gardens — Veranda view of the towering palms of Hunte’s Gardens

gorgeous foliage Hunte's Gardens — Gorgeous foliage – Hunte’s Gardens

flowers Hunte's Gardens — Hanging flowers – Hunte’s Gardens

St. Nicholas Abbey is not an abbey at all, but a beautiful and historic English house surrounded by a working mahogany and sugar cane plantation.

Seashell Chandelier at St. Nicholas Abbey

An actual Thomas Crapper…er…crapper. At St. Nicholas Abbey. Yep, I go to a historic home and take a picture of the toilet. 🙂

View from Bathsheba – on the rugged east coast of Barbados. Not safe to swim here, but the surfers love it, apparently.

The Morgan Lewis windmill. Still used to crush sugar cane.

Our half day tour ended up being closer to a full day, thanks to traffic and being on island time. We kinda figured that might happen so we had packed snacks, figuring we might be an hour or so late getting back. Instead of returning at 12:30pm, we didn’t get dropped back to the hotel until after 4 pm. Next time we are packing a full lunch! Just in case.

sunset dining at Champers — Sunsets and Sangria at Champers, while the sea turtles frolic in the waves below. We ate at this nearby ocean-front fine dining establishment 3 times during this trip. Worth making and eating ham and cheese sandwiches for our beach-side lunches so we can splurge here in the evenings. Always a treat.

At the end of the trip, on the flight home I reflected on how happy I actually was to be returning to my home, and how for so many years this wasn’t the case for me. Home used to be a place I dreaded entering. Towards the end of my first marriage, coming home meant returning to my verbally abusive, controlling husband and his often-drunk, miserable mother. In my last marriage, coming home meant returning to Crazytown – a place filled with clutter, dirt and disorder – and all the other OCD-related shit I felt I had no choice but to put up with, from my last husband.

I don’t know if I can express in words how grateful I am now, to be able to say that returning home is pure joy. Home is my refuge, my sanctuary, my little corner of the world that is safe, warm, clean and welcoming. That is finally and truly mine.

And I came home to mild weather! Sunny skies and 9 degrees Celsius! Amazing!

Can this be really be the view from my rooftop patio in February? Where is the snow and ice?

This is my Changing Seasons post for this month.

Rock on,

The WB

Beach Blogging Part 2

On February 17, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Blogging, Good Times, See the Beauty, The Great Outdoors14 Comments

palm trees and beach and flag of Barbados — Welcome to the beach. Long live Barbados!

cement sea wall — Gorgeous salt-ravaged wall

weathered beach gate — Beach gate, leading to boardwalk

Bus stop sign at beach — Island humour. Even the bus stop signs want to be at the beach!

Ceramic sea turtle — Sea turtle embedded in ceramic wall. By Blakey’s on the Beach

beach flower — Closeup of flower seen on boardwalk

coconut palm on boardwalk — Coconut palm closeup

plant life on sea wall — Plant life cascading down wall

sunrise on boardwalk Barbados — What I see on every morning walk. Bajan sunrise Feb 17.

Beautiful Bajan sunset last night, as viewed from our balcony.

Rock on,

The WB

Beach Blogging

On February 11, 2018February 11, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Blogging, Good Times, See the Beauty, The Great Outdoors14 Comments

Sign on the Beach. Appropriate for this post!

First night. Checked in, unpacked and made it down to Charlie’s Beach Bar in time to catch the tail end of happy hour.

First morning, capturing the rising sun through the palms.

Thought this was the quintessential tropical photo. Kept waiting for this guy to move out of the frame. Then realized this local fisherman was actually posing for me. Nice!

What can I say? Dedicated AF to meeting my blogging goal for this year. P.S. my friend thinks I’m nuts but she did take my picture, which is what a true friend would do.

Rock on,

The WB

WTF is with Blog Badges?

On February 4, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Blogging, Hmmm?8 Comments

This week I received another email, telling me I earned a badge for being a “top 30 widow blog”.

This is what it said:

Hello!

We are a team of experts who are in search for the best blogs in the world. We find your blog to be pretty awesome and very informative. Your articles are well-written and possess the qualities of being one of the best.

We are glad to announce that your blog is included in the Top 30 Global Widow Blogs: https://www.startdating.dk/top-30-global-widow-blogs on our website.

We would like to commend you for your passion and as recognition, our team has created a special badge that you can post on your blog: https://www.startdating.dk/banners/top-30-global-widow-blogs

If this interests you, please send us a message and we more than willing to answer your queries.

Thank you and hoping to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,

Lisa Kok
Junior Project Manager
StartDating.dk

I clicked on the link to see what they had to say about my blog:

A chronicle of how a woman went through loss and came out stronger than ever, widowbadass.com is a resource that is definitely worth reading. It’s got a lot of great content to share about the matter of overcoming the sadness after losing someone and then looking forward to living again.

OK. I guess that’s all right. It sounds like someone actually read my blog.

Then I went directly to the website to figure out what this site was all about. Just the name of it (StartDating) is giving me a serious case of side-eye.

Serious side eye happening — You and me both, Prince. You and me both.

There is no English language option on this site. Near as I can figure it is an online dating site, though. For Europeans. But a team of experts that search out the best blogs in the world and they found lil’ ol’ me?

Indiana Jones side eye — Yes we do, Indie. Indeed we do.

I wonder how many more of these emails I will receive, now that I have a contact form and email address for the blog.

I won’t be grabbing this badge and I’m removing the other badge too. As far as I’m concerned, they are meaningless and/or a ploy to get bloggers to put something up on their blog to advertise their own site.

I don’t like wearing clothes that have a brand’s name (as opposed to a band’s name, which I am in favour of!) prominently displayed on them and I certainly don’t want to be advertising a dating website on my blog.

On a more upbeat note, by this time next week I will be cavorting with the tropical sea life in Barbados again. I’ll also be lulled by tropical breezes while reading lots of books under the palms and chugging back icy Banks beers with my 50 years of friendship pal, Mizz CJ. For 2 glorious weeks!

Rock on,

The WB

SaveSave

Three Lessons I’ve Learned So Far About Making Art

On January 28, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Artistic Endeavours18 Comments

sea turtle dot painting — Yet to be named. Destined as part of a baby shower gift. Riffing on a design I found on the Interwebs.

side view of sea turtle dot painting — Carrying on to the side of the painting

Inscription on painting back — Operating in fairy godmother mode with the wish bestowing…hehehe.

Lesson One – It’s OK to ~~be inspired by~~ steal from others. There is no such thing as original artwork or original anything, really.

This was a toughie, and to be truthful, still is. Years of writing papers has instilled in me a deep fear of being accused of plagiarism. Even though I know that artists are inspired by and often copy other artists’ work (especially starting out), I feel like I have to make a disclaimer every time I do this, even though I am not selling any of stuff I am painting or drawing. HEY PEOPLE, THIS PIECE IS BASED ON SOMETHING SOMEONE ELSE DREAMED UP FIRST. So far I seem to be the only one doing this. Huh.

Here’s a quote taken from Austin Kleon’s “Steal Like An Artist” (required reading AND re-reading for moi):

“What is originality? Undetected plagiarism.”

– William Ralph Inge

Here’s another one, from Mr. Kleon himself:

“What a good artist understands is that nothing comes from nowhere. All creative work builds on what came before. Nothing is completely original.”

And my favourite:

“The only art I’ll ever study is the stuff I can steal from.”

– David Bowie

Hell, if it’s good enough for Ziggy….

Lesson Two – You can get an art education from books and the internet.

You know, when I was deep in the middle of my MBA studies I came across an article that really burned me up. In it the author claimed that business school was a complete money-grubbing scam and that anyone could pick up an MBA education just by reading articles online. All the information was out there, free for the taking.

Having committed to spending 44K to get the (nicely framed, mind you) piece of parchment that is now displayed on my work office’s wall, naturally I took offence to this. And still do. Yes, the information (and much, much more) is out there. But nobody is curating it – pulling out the acknowledged, peer-reviewed, up-to-the-moment best stuff and guiding you as you take it in, process it and let it shape your own thinking.

But now I am attempting to do just that, with my artistic journey. At this point I can’t envision committing to much or anything in the manner of formal art education, so do-it-yourself it is! It helps that there are so many artists putting up how-to videos out there, and also dropping great tidbits (colour theory, brush selection, canvas prepping, composition…to name just a few) in their painting patter while showing you step-by-step how they create a particular piece. I have gleaned so much from these little nuggets, it’s worth watching just for them…even if I never intend to ever make that particular painting.

Lately I’ve been watching videos in which artists discuss their favourite books – the ones that really helped them grow in their art. One of those books I already own – Betty Edward’s Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain. I bought it over 20 years ago, and had started some of the exercises but then life (as it always does) got in the way. It has survived multiple book purges and moves since then and is still in almost pristine condition. For this moment, apparently. Because I am going to work through it FOR REAL this time.

And maybe the most important lesson I have learned so far on my journey is this:

Lesson Three – Every piece you create will have its “hot mess” stage. Wait a bit, then keep going.

Resist that urge to (dramatically, with loud cursing and hair pulling) rip it up or paint it out and start over. Let it sit for a bit. Leave it alone. Go watch some Bob Ross till you feel calm again. Watching Bob, you can Netflix and actually chill.

Bob Ross Meme — If all else fails, add some happy little trees to your piece

You may grow to like what you’ve done better after some away from it. Or you may figure out the fix it needs. Or you may just paint it out and start over.

At the very least you will create some detachment from it, and be able to look at it more objectively later than when you were in the passionate midst of creating. As with writing, time apart from your piece will do you both good.

Rock (and steal, and create) on,

The WB

SaveSave

Where did the Weekend Go? And My First Changing Seasons Post, for January 2018

On January 21, 2018 By Widow BadassIn Artistic Endeavours, See the Beauty, The Great Outdoors18 Comments

Well, I am not entirely sure how it got to be Sunday night already but here I am, needing to make a blog post to keep up with my target of at least 1 post/week!

I might be jumping the gun a tad as it’s not quite the end of the month…but I have some lovely wintery photos burning a hole in my iPhone, so here goes my first attempt at a Changing Seasons post. (Su, I hope I am doing this right!) All of these photos were taken on the Mill Run Trail that starts in the Village:

river ice formation — Closeup of interesting ice forming in the river. Taken on First Day Hike with Mizz J – Jan 1, 2018

Ducks on the river — Ducks trying to stay warm Jan 1, 2018. This was as close as we could get without alarming them.

pampas grass — Pampas Grass against a beautiful winter sky Jan 1, 2018

This weekend I was back down on the Mill Run Trail again, this time with Joanne of My Life Lived Full. This was our second get-together, and my pleasure to host her at my stomping grounds. The weather was a lot milder than on New Year’s Day, and the snow showed it:

snow crust revealed — Evidence of typical January freeze/thaw Jan 20, 2018

Back indoors, when not binge-watching Grace & Frankie, I was “arting around”:

sea turtle painting — Sea Turtle painting, almost complete. Not happy with the sky at present. Need to figure out a fix.

painting of blossoms — Blossoms, almost complete

This painting came to life while following instruction from Angela Anderson

I love the way the background came out but I could have done better on the blossoms. I want to fix some stuff and do some glazing, and then it will be done!

I haven’t proceeded any farther with my Queen of Wands idea. I’m trying to figure out the best way to take a small drawing and transfer it to a bigger canvas. I’ve looked up the process of using a grid technique (cheap but looks tiresome) and also have discovered (cue angelic singing): the Artograph. Yep, that’s about 800 dollars worth of awesome technology that I won’t be buying anytime soon. Back to reality I go…

This weekend’s January thaw also meant it was finally a good time to wash Edward II, without risk of his doors freezing shut. If the sun would come out, he’d be all sparkly again. For about 5 minutes. Until covered with wintry road goo once again…

My weekend was jam-packed with fun stuff. How was yours?

Rock on,

The WB