Well, it wouldn’t be 2020 if I wasn’t having some tasty yet spectacular fails in the kitchen, now would it?
First up – my attempt to make a dupe for Claxton Fruit Cake. Gluten-free, no less. I kinda mashed together the best bits of 2 copycat recipes I found on Ye Olde Interwebs, and was generous with some Kraken.
This no-bake fruitcake tastes very similar to what I remember of Claxton fruitcakes, but is very sticky and goopy, and super sweet. I blame the sweetened condensed milk. It was definitely NOT THE RUM I GENEROUSLY EMBELLISHED THE RECIPE WITH. Next year I will use less of the milk and keep the rum…maybe even add more rum. So there.
I tried to use up all the fruitcake mistake as best as I could. Created a trifle out of the damned thing and foisted it upon my “bubble”. It was well received.
Other fails from this month include repeated attempts to make rustic, gluten-free loaves of bread, with yeast. Otherwise known as “doorstops”. No picture can capture the true extent of the denseness of these bread fails. The black holes of baking.
Moving on.
One of my successes was rum balls (requested by my daughter). Except I couldn’t get the chocolate hail to stick to the balls as I was rolling them in the hail. But you know what solved that problem? MORE KRAKEN. Hehehe!
And then there was my attempt to make gluten-free boterkoek (Dutch butter cake). I just subbed GF flour for regular – the rest of the recipe stayed the same.
And then there was an old standby (and much needed by this point): Homemade Irish Cream Liqueur. AKA Bailey’s. My only change to this recipe was to use an espresso shot instead of instant coffee. Because I has the technology!
I’m done baking for now. Until just before Christmas, when I promised to make a black forest trifle for the day itself. A recipe I haven’t attempted since I was newly married (the FIRST time) and didn’t know any better had the time and energy to create it entirely from scratch. Even the custard.
Pray for me.
Thank you for joining me in this month’s Virtual Tea Party – hosted by Del and Su.
Rock on,
The WB
This entire post made me smile, Deb, beginning with the ornament. It looks like you are using a silicone bread pan? I have silicone muffin pans, yet have not thought about bread pans. Goopy can still equal tasty. Haha, foisted it upon my bubble. I am sure they enjoyed it! Homemade Irish Cream? I forgot about this popular recipe. Your photos are great! Merry Christmas to you and yours. ❤️
Thank you Erica 💕 Yes, silicone loaf pans! They are great. Merry Christmas, back at ya!
I’m impressed with all the cooking you did, sticky or not!
Well, I’m not packing for a move (like some people I know 😉) and not supposed to socialize so the devil makes work for idle hands…thanks, Kate 💕
I sense a pattern. There seems to be a lot of alcohol in your cooking. Could some of your fails be due to sampling the ingredients while trying to follow the recipe?
🤣 Good catch, TG! 💕 But I don’t sample while cooking. Maybe I should start? 😉
As long as it tastes good Deb, that’s all that counts.
Leslie xoxo
Well then, successes all ‘round! Thanks, Leslie 💕
I love that you have holly just growing outside your home for garnish! That made me laugh out loud. I love that little light up tree! Your home looks so cozy and lovely. I haven’t baked much this season. I made mashed potatoes the other night from scratch and felt like Julia Child. 🙂
That tree is one I made for my mother, years ago. It’ll be 5 years since she left us, tomorrow 🥲.
Aww, friend. Memories. Sending you a hug. 🙂
Thank you, friend ☺️
Thank you, Kari 💕 I made mashed potatoes using my pressure cooker recently and I’ll never make them any other way now!
Merry Christmas, Deb. Wish I was in your bubble! In my house we worship sweetened condensed milk and blame any baking failures containing the elixir on malevolent elves. Of course, now that I know I’m lactose intolerant, I know what to blame for the post-baking explosions. I’m guessing gluten is an issue for you or someone in your family? I’ve tried a number of gluten free baking recipes and honestly have yet to find anything that works or that I like. But do carry on in your exploration because I’m looking forward to enjoying more of your fails in the new year!
Thank you, Susanne 💕 My daughter is gluten-intolerant. And so am I for that matter…well, wheat-intolerant at least – it can give me a lot of grief from heartburn. Weird, no? I love sweetened condensed milk too but I think I added too much to the fruitcake recipe. IT COULDN’T BE THE BOOZE. My story and I’m sticking to it. 😉
As usual … laugh-out-loud funny! I actually snorted at the line ‘Pray for me’ 😆
You’ve been in rare form, my friend!!
Well, I haven’t posted in a while so there was a lotta pent-up Badass that needed to come out. 😉 Thank you, Joanne 💕
Do not let the Badass back-up! In this weird new world, god-only-knows what might happen if you do 😜
Could be a good thing? 🤷♀️ But yeah, considering everything else, probably not 😉
Deb, Lovely One, you have outdone yourself! Such gorgeous decorations and all that YUMMY food! Can’t decide what to try first – I’m on my way, so save me a slice o’ something!
Definitely, Del! Thank you 💕, and thanks for hosting this fun event! 😘
💕 Right back at’cha, Lovely❣️
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Thank you for bringing huge smiles to my face this morning. I love your self-deprecating humour and am sure what you’ve baked tastes really, really yummy. If nothing else, you’ve added booze!
I haven’t baked bread with GF flour, but I have learned (from the production of many door-stop loaves) that bread proofing always takes more time than you expect, and putting loaves into a really hot oven (preferably with a pan of water that’s been allowed to get hot too) will help. The heat encourages the trapped gas to expand (that sounds disgustingly medical I know), and the steam stops the crust getting to hard and burned. You only need this for about the first 10 minutes or so, then you can remove the steam source and turn the oven down a bit.
Thank you, Su 💕 The bread recipe I use is no-knead – allowing the bread dough to rise for a full 8 hours and placing the dough in a pre-heated Dutch oven to bake (thereby eliminating the need for a pan of water). I have made this same recipe with wheat flour and the results were amazing: the chewy, tasty, airy, rustic bread of my dreams! So, it’s gotta be the GF flour blend I am using. I will continue to experiment, never fear!
Yes; it has to be the flour.
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What a fun and brave post! Brave because I wouldn’t be woman enough to showcase my failed dishes in my blog but your ‘save’ was brilliant…the fruitcake truffle. And it looks so yummy.
Screwing up only makes me try harder 😁 Thank you, Jean 💕
I love everything about this–from the doctored ornament to the festive food pics and the fun descriptions. Wishing you a very merry Christmas and a spectacular black forest trifle!
Thank you, Christie 💕 All the best of the season to you as well!
Gluten-free baking is such an adventure, isn’t it? And those 1-to-1 flours have generally been a lie for me, especially when it comes to cakes and such. I fare better with cookies and brownies.
It really is quite the adventure! Thank you, Akilah 💕
I’m also impressed!
Your self-proclaimed fails look delicious.
And the make great stories too! 😀
Thank you, Donna 💕 At least my fails are tasty. And they inspire me to keep trying!
It all looks and sounds mouth-watering, Deb! I’d love to be a guinea pig for ALL of it! Rum and Bailey’s are my favorite (alcoholic) drinks. And, of course i’d devour your boterkoek. Or almond cake. How I miss an oven in this van about right now! :-‘
Thank you, Liesbet 💕 Maybe you can find a Dutch store nearby and get some boterkoek that way?
My Mom used to make homemade Irish Cream Liqueur and somewhere I kept her Recipe for it. She had a great backstory to go with it, that may or may not have been True, but a good Story nonetheless, Mom was a great Storyteller. All of my Holiday Kitchen attempts would be flops since I am no culinary Jedi, so at least you’re brave enough to see what happens?
Brave enough or silly enough 🤣 Thanks, Bohemian 💕
Looks like a lotta Christmas happening in your house. Even your fails are successes! The Covid ornament is priceless and I love the dragonfly lights. I had an age related baking mishap with a tray of cookies this week – set the oven at 475 instead of 375 because I didn’t have my ‘cheaters’ on! Not good.
Ahhhh! That is exactly why my cheaters are glued to my face, for the most part 🤣 Thanks, Suzanne 💕
Hi Deb – all looks amazing … the cake especially! I love the altered 2020 ornament … three eyes – clever … enjoy Christmas with all the goodies – and yes VI is probably the best place to be … just enjoy – take care – Hilary
Thank you, Hilary 💕 All the best to you and yours!
It all looks fabulous to me. The humour was a bonus. Your claxton cake looks great. I bought a 3kg christmas cakes for the family, because christmas. Unfortunately I said they could start eating it and within a couple of days I had to tell them no more eating! I had a tiny slice but the gluten or wheat or whatever in it, meant it didn’t go well for me. I live in eternal hope. I find a dash of plain yoghurt helps dampen down the sweetness.
Great tip! I have plain yogurt and will try! Thank you 😊
Rum improves every homemade holiday dessert. Matter of fact rum improves every family laden holiday… or maybe that’s just me.
I’ve come to that same conclusion too. I used to hate rum in my younger years, can you imagine??? Thank you, Rivergirl 💕
As a person who NEVER bakes (I loathe following directions) I’m pretty impressed by your success and even your failures, well, aside from the doorstoppers. And you added rum and then some more rum=win win.
Aliens in 2020; seems logical.
Kari sent me your way and I’m so glad to meet you. Merry Christmas!
Thank you, Suz 💕 and Merry Christmas to you too! I just read Kari’s post (blush!!!!). Rum does seem to be the answer, doesn’t it? 😉 Off to see your blog now!
I’ve finished with my Christmas baking for the moment. All gluten and egg free… rocky road, fudge, fruit mince slice, caramel slice. I’ll bake cinnamon scrolls Christmas morning and lemon slice boxing day. Luckily I have two Barbarians and the Hub to eat it all 😉
Sounds delicious, AJ 💕
Aside from joining my neighbourhood cookie exchange, I did exactly zero baking this Christmas. Every time I had the urge to bake, I thought “waistline” and desisted. So I am vicariously enjoying your baking efforts.
Jude
Thank you, Jude 💕