Humble apologies to Paul Simon, for riffing on his song title. This (see below) is a great song from a timeless, stellar album that I still listen to, 47 (What?!?! How did that happen?!) years later.
One Man’s Ceiling Is Another Man’s Floor
Lyrics:
There’s been some hard feelings here
About some words that were said
Been some hard feelings here
And what is more
There’s been a bloody purple nose
And some bloody purple clothes
That were messing up the lobby floor
It’s just apartment house rules
So all you ‘partment house fools
Remember: one man’s ceiling
Is another man’s floor
One man’s ceiling
Is another man’s floor
There’s been some strange goin’s-on
And some folks have come and gone
And the elevator man don’t work no more
I heard a racket in the hall
And I thought I heard a fall
But I never opened up my door
It’s just apartment house sense
It’s like apartment house rents
Remember: one man’s ceiling
Is another man’s floor
I tell you, one man’s ceiling
Is another man’s floor
And there’s an alley
In the back of my building
Where some people congregate in shame
I was walking with my dog
And the night was black with smog
When I thought I heard somebody
Call my name
Remember: one man’s ceiling
Is another man’s floor
© 1973 Words and Music by Paul Simon
I’ve been living on the island, in my new apartment home, for almost 3 months now. And, although not perfect, it is pretty damn good here. But as you might imagine, coming from my stand-alone aerie dominating the corner of a downtown block back in Ontario to being in the 2nd floor corner unit of 3 story apartment building has taken a bit of getting used to.
I have neighbours on 3 sides of me, and I’ve learned a lot about them in our time “together” so far.
Let me start at the beginning.
The first residents I met were the 2 young men (brothers) who are directly below my unit. They gave me a warm hello, welcoming me to the “community”, and admiring (at subsequent encounters) my shoes (Vans, tie-dyed) and my bag (Desigual) – both being very colourful and hippy-ish – as they are totally their vibe. They have a plaque on their door proclaiming “Far Out” in a 1970’s balloon-type font, for proof.
What can I tell you about these brothers? Well, they are fond of ye olde Wake and Bake ritual apparently, based on the smells wafting from their place. Any time of day, come to think of it. Mostly they have been surprisingly quiet, but occasionally they have friends over and get into the alcohol (as people do) and then the voices and the music rise in volume. I have dubbed them “The Party Bros”.
Directly above me on the top floor resides an older couple, whom I have yet to meet. However I feel like I am privy to their day-to-day lives through the lack of soundproofing between floors. I know which one is walking, where they are walking, and when they have their hyperactive grandchild(ren) over for the day/night. And especially when they are sliding open their balcony doors…it sounds like thunder; like they are moving heavy furniture; and my apartment actually shudders from this activity. I have dubbed them “The Stompy McStompersons”.
As a result of experiencing them in this way, I make sure to walk very lightly myself – on the balls of my feet – lest I inflict the same disturbance upon The Party Bros. I also open and close my balcony door sliders very gently. I am 100% convinced that the McStompersons are completely unaware that their activities can be so damn annoying loud noticeable, as they have no one living above them.
The next neighbour I met was an English lady who lived (has since moved back to England, with her hubs) on the first floor of my building. Let’s call her Lady Di. Lady Di was walking her dogs (not allowed here, I thought?) and waved up to me while I was sitting on my balcony. We got to chatting and she invited me over to her place for a socially-distant glass of (please bring your own) wine. Over wine, Lady Di proceeded to offer her condolences to me as apparently I live right next door to someone who is “starkers”. Let’s call her M.
M, a slight South Asian woman, has apparently had the police called on her multiple times due to her habit of singing and raging in the middle of the night in her apartment and in the parking lot. Sometimes alone, sometimes with the man she lives with. Can confirm all of the above. More on M, later.
Anyhoodle, back to Lady Di…I was invited back for another socially distant visit – this time a BBQ – and this time with her hubs in attendance as he was now back home for good, having finished with his job in Alberta. Hubs pounded back at least 1/2 a dozen beers during my 90 minute visit. Astonishing.
I felt the need to reciprocate the hospitality so invited them over to my place for an evening, before they left the building (and the country). Lady Di and Hubs arrived – him with a little cooler of beers, her with what was left of a box of wine, as the standard had been set to bring your own drinks – and our evening commenced.
Lady Di asked me what I thought about the legalization of marijuana. Weed and its odour is a common topic of discussion with just about all my neighbours, and all with reference to The Party Bros. I told her bluntly that I would rather be trapped in a room full of stoners than a room full of drunks, ANY DAY. Much less shouting, fighting and disharmony in general! Hubs immediately agreed and then added that he occasionally, inexplicably (really, queen!?!) descends into an uncontrollable rage when drinking. WHILE HE IS SITTING IN MY HOUSE. WITH A DRINK IN HIS HAND.
Gentle reader – remember how I mentioned on ye olde blogge previously how my dad was one of those guys too? Imagine how triggered I was by this confession.
Somehow the evening was got through without my place or self being trashed by the Hubs (who – full disclosure – behaved in an exemplary manner all evening). And now they are gone and I don’t have to ever explain why going forward he will be no longer be welcome in my home when drinking.
After Lady Di, the next neighbour I met was J. J lives on the 3rd floor and has the most amazing balcony garden, that also flies the Pride flag. I was looking forward to meeting J, as who doesn’t need more gay men in their life? My best male friends in the entire world are the most lovely couple, my former tenants, who have enriched my life beyond measure. In my opinion they set the standard for healthy relationship goals for anybody, no matter your orientation.
Back to J. J is unlike any gay man I’ve come across. In observing him around the complex I have to say that J “outheteros” any hetero male I’ve ever met, in terms of (lack of ) attention to dress and displaying uncouth behaviours while outside, on the grounds below my place. Behaviours such as yelling up to Mr. McStomperson details about his…um… “romantic” life, and hawking loogies and blowing snot rockets in the parking lot.
My hetero male readers are of course excluded from this generalization – refined, tasteful beings that you all are.
Next I met the neighbour directly across the hall from me. S is a salt-of-the-earth guy and H, his partner is a lovely young lady. S also had to bring up the weed smell and asked me what I thought of it. I told him truthfully that I enjoy occasionally partaking of the devil’s lettuce and that the smell doesn’t bother me. Truth be told, I like the smell. He also mentioned M and then told me that he was available if I ever needed any “help”. Any time. Day or night, I was just to knock at his door and he would be there for me.
Ummm, thanks, I think? Very nice offer. But WHY DID YOU FEEL THE NEED TO MAKE IT??? WHAT KIND OF PLACE HAVE I MOVED INTO?!?!?
S also expressed thanks to his god, upon meeting me, that finally there was another “normal” person living here. Fooled another one! Hehehe…
And finally: While my friend Joanne was visiting, I actually got to meet M, in the hallway outside of our respective doorways. We introduced ourselves, and I didn’t let on that I had already been warned by multiple neighbours about her cute-as-a-button little self. M proceeded to tell me about the former occupant of my place – a retired guy (physicist, I think she said) who was quite the loner, and who died in his (my) apartment. How long before anyone found him, one can’t help but wonder. Thankfully my apartment was completely renovated from top to bottom before I moved in…
With a glint in her eye, M said “That doesn’t bother you, does it?”
With a big smile on my face, I said “Not at all, Bitch! I had my mother come home to my place to die. That stuff doesn’t bother me.”
M then told me to be sure to let her know if things ever got loud at her place, and we parted. Bitch, they already have and you know it. Yeah, sure. This ain’t my first apartment rodeo and I’ve heard that song before from previous inconsiderate neighbours. It’s always the noisy ones who tell you to let them know if they are bothering you, and then you do, and nothing changes and you end up having to call the police on them anyways.
Different people have opined that I should speak to my neighbours or building management about my noise issues. I’ve thought about it (and I may yet feel compelled to do so), but so far I haven’t felt the need to take it to that level. I also do feel for apartment pariah M who, according to my neighbours, has very real mental health issues. She is apparently on her 3rd strike with the police and will be hauled away to the clink at the next transgression, if what my neighbours are gossiping to confiding in me is accurate. For now, my thinking is that these nuisance behaviours don’t happen all that often and are just a by-product of living in close quarters with others. Also, I’m retired, and can always take a nap if my sleep gets shorted and even if it doesn’t…hehehe!
Besides, then I wouldn’t have these stories to tell. 😉
Rock on,
The WB
Thanks for a very entertaining read that makes me happy I don’t live in an apartment building. My favorite parts were the brothers wake and bake. And M. I heard once if you can end a sentence with bitch, you probably shouldn’t say it.
Truth, Donna! Which is why I only thought it 😁 – the “Bitch” part, not the rest of the sentence. Thanks for the comment💕
I love your writing 🙂
Having “met” most of these characters, I am familiar with each of these stories. The only thing I can think of that you’re missing in the Encounters-of-the-Neighbourly kind are barking dogs in the middle of the night.
No question that this cast of characters will give you blog fodder in the months ahead 😀
Thank you my friend💕 Glad to have you confer authenticity/credibility to the stories told on ye olde blogge!😁
For sure S wants you to need him….fostering a ‘friendship’ where he can come visit for quiet interesting g times away from the lovely H ( who he can palm off on you when necessary), M wants you to visit her and give her that attention she desires but really cant want; Stompersons are old and feel like I do that age brings privileges (or they are partly deaf); wakey bakeys are so cool I’d camp out there and get blacklisted for behaving like I lived there, heterogay man need some pot for the snot, and everybody will recognise sooner or later that Mrs Badass is not to be taken for granted.
Hehehe! You could be right….and I hope I never find out what’s really going on in their heads🤣. Thanks🙏💕
I can’t wait for the next installment. Just hope it isn’t “The Widow goes Badass on her neighbors”!
Yeah…um…me too! 😜 Thanks, Suzanne💕
Oh c’mon! That would be a fabulous read! 😉
Yeah, I’ll probably have lots of time to write…FROM JAIL😜
🤣🤣🤣
I’m so happy that we don’t share walls with others. Not that living in a detached home is any guarantee that there won’t be neighbor problems. The last time I shared walls, I was on the top floor so maybe I was Ms. Stompy McStomperson (gosh, I hope not). I do remember the constant cigarette smoke from those below me – yuck! The good news for your readers is that you’ll have more to dish as time goes on.
Thank you, Janis💕 I’m sure you weren’t a McStomperson…unless you like to thud heavily with your heels when you walk? Then I am sorry to say that you probably were. 😉
Loved reading this as I move on to my next endeavor. Does encourage me that I took the upper apartment though.
Remember to tread lightly, Barb😉. Thanks for reading and commenting💕
You have an interesting collection of neighbours Deb. You might be able to write a book about it.
Leslie
Hehehe! Hopefully I am not here long enough to gather enough stories for a book. Thanks, Leslie💕
a short story?….
Hey Deb! You seem to have a very good attitude about your apartment dwelling. I haven’t lived in one since I was just out of high school but Thom and I are almost fanatical that when we travel and stay. in a hotel or even a vacation rental that we are stand-alone or on the top floor. Most of the time it works out. I’m a super light sleeper and the constant walking (aka: stomping) drives me bonkers. I would be like M if I lived under the McStompersons. But yes, the truth is that we simply can’t control all the people living around us so it is good to be as flexible as possible. Besides, from your other posts it seems that you are loving your new town. ~Kathy
I am loving it here, Kathy. And as you are well aware, the only thing in life we have control over is our attitude, so why poison myself with anger and frustration about my situation? Thanks!💕
I totally love those strike throughs! Such a good story telling/not telling tales!! I had to look up wake and bake (let’s say I’m sheltered). My claustrophobia has never gotten over life in residence and getting locked in my room so better you in an apartment than me!
Hehehe! I linked the definition of Wake and Bake in my post just for someone like you. Thanks, Bernie💕
Love your commentary, as you tell your tale! Laughed just a bit too hard, but o well. I’m drinking some heavy-duty kombucha-turned-beer and everything seems funny. Anyhow, Deb, I’m sure there are many more stories to come. It takes time to get used to different living scenerios. We once had a Newf living below us in our TO apartment, and he would claim to be “drunk as a skunk” and was quite harmless. Still, it’s a red flag to some of us, eh?
Thank you, Cuz💕 I can just picture you snorting your overly-fermented kombucha as you read😁
Your post brought back all kinds of apartment memories. I have been a stompy – hardwood floors and no money to buy area rugs – with a mentally unstable below neighbour. As to the pot smell, haven’t these people heard if edibles?
Absolutely, my thoughts exactly. Perhaps I should introduce them to edibles?😉 Thanks, Susanne💕
Hi, Deb – Your writing here is brilliant! Although I do hope that your neighbours behave, and give you some peace, I also (selfishly) want to read more about them.
Any time that you want to take a ‘peace and quiet nap’ our spare room is your room!
Having lived in apartments with McNoisies everywhere I can suggest you ask your upstairs neighbors to put down an area rug where they make the most noise to dampen it. You should not have to sleep during weird times to accommodate their loudness. You can also get the waiting list to move to the 3rd floor then you don’t have to worry about upstairs noise a least. Top floors and end townhouses are a good solution.
Great ideas, Luisa! Thank you💕 This place is not intended to be my forever home on the island. Having spent the better part of 6 months preparing for and then unpacking from a move, I am in no hurry to move again just yet.
Awww…you are so kind, Donna! 💕 I hope to never have to take you up on this kind offer, though😉.
This place is perfect! You will have stories until you move!
I know, right?😁 Thanks, Kate💕
I see lots of blogger fodder in your future and a preview of what I might be moving into only I’ll be the one everyone will complain about because of Levi.
Jean, I can’t wait for you to write about your move and your new neighbours! I don’t see you (and/or Levi) ever becoming the complex pariah though….💕
It’s strange how some people stomp about when they walk. These days I only get the ceiling thunder experience when staying at hotels, as my apartment days are long behind me. It’s annoying but I’ve found that a good pair of earplugs helps.
You seem to have a cast of characters in your little apartment community. At least you can’t get lonely, with all those odd people to socialize with. I have more of a hermit personality, so if I lived on a beautiful island like Vancouver, I’d be off in a moss-covered cabin somewhere.
This was a funny read. Looks like we each gave each other good laughs with our posts today.
That we did, TG! Thanks 💕
Oh my gosh, what a place! I can only imagine the stories you are going to have to tell after a year of living there. S was right, there aren’t many normal people living there, lol.
So true, AJ! What is “normal”, anymore? Thank you💕
Deb, I just love your description of your very eclectic group of neighbours & can only imagine the upcoming stories you will have to tell😂! The world would be so boring if we were all the same, wouldn’t it?🤔
Thank you, Lynn💕 Yes, I agree completely. I love writing about encounters with the various “characters” that come into my world.
Oh, this had me roaring. “If you need any help just knock, day or night,” eh? Subtlety isn’t his most obvious trait, I guess. It all sounds colorful to say the least! I’d say you have additional blog fodder with that group.
We lucked out in that the unit below us was sold to a couple who bought it as a “snow bird” place only. So we only see them in the winter for three or four months at the most. But currently the place next door to us is up for sale. So we’re praying that it’ll be someone who fits the same definition of normal that “S” has. 🙂 – Marty
Yes! I pray for that for you too, Marty! I do think S was being sincere in his offer of help and not creepy, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think it was a little off-putting that he felt the need to offer me protection (from M, likely). Thanks 💕
Hilarious post! I’m still living well insulated from other peoples noise but contemplating the time when it’s necessary to move. Our of consideration to the world I will delay as long as possible as my husband is the ultimate in stomping. Keep posting updates on your neighbours 😂
(I also had to check out Wake and bake. Sorry)
Heheh! No need to be sorry, Kim. Thanks for commenting💕 I’m sure there will be more stories from the trenches of rental hell😁
Hi Deb – you’ll have lots of stories which will be prompting you to move on – when it suits you. Living in an apartment block is always challenging … but you’re making light work of it. Your upstairs couple – I bet they’re elderly and deaf … and won’t change … too entrenched … also a rug could cause them to trip … I guess that might be the way it is. But yes please more series of these stories … and congratulations on the pragmatic attitude … take care and all the best – Hilary
I agree with you, Hilary, about the upstairs tenants. Why even bother to mention it? They are just going about their daily lives (and the odd very restless night). I can’t ask them to stop living, can I? Not their fault this building was so poorly constructed. Thanks💕
Loved this post. Also it’s great to see how many comments you get on your posts! I should be so lucky!
I remember living in an apartment and blithely hammering on a dulcimer I was making, while it was on the floor. Whoops!
Thank you, Susan💕I started commenting regularly on other blogs, and that has led to people finding me and commenting on my blog. For the first 6-8 years of my 11 year blogging journey, it seemed like I had no readers at all (and I probably didn’t) and that was OK, as it functioned mainly as an online diary for me. I like where my blog is at now; I’ve found a community; and made some very good friends along the way 😁
For completely selfish reasons now, I do Hope you put up with your Neighbors, for the Stories! I am Pandemic bored and now I can live vicariously thru your fascinating community of Apartment dwellers. We bought a Mini Farm in the City in February and one of our Neighbors partakes of The Devil’s Lettuce {LOVE and am Stealing that description now!} almost every Evening, the Sweet Aroma doesn’t bother me, I only take issue when they’re Smoking the Skunk Weed, vile smell with that inferior grade! *LOL* The Neighbor behind us is an Old Hippie too and we discovered she likes to Garden in the Nude… no problem, unless the Granddaughter we’re Raising has her Teen Friends over, then it could be somewhat traumatic for the Kids, some things you can’t Unsee once Seen and probably never wanna see again. *Smiles*
Hmmm, methinks you have the seeds for an interesting blog post about YOUR neighbours somewhere in your comment! C’mon – dish away! 😁 Thank you, Bohemian💕
Oh darn, on the noise of the neighbours. “McStompersons” made me smile (the name) not the persons. I don’t know whether speaking to the neighbours would help much. It is fodder for a story. I guess my 5 yappy dogs cannot really help their yapping. The grown-ups do not seem to care. Out come the ear plugs and the Bose noise-cancelling headphones. Some sanity. xx
We do what we need to, when dealing with the neighbours, eh Erica?💕Thank you.
Omgosh. It’s so nice that you actually got to meet your neighbors. There are only 4 apts in my bldg. The apt above me has a rotating guest list of renters as does my only next door neighbor. One other couple living here has lived here forever and altho we’ve spoken and I introduced myself they’ve never said who they are! Isn’t that weird? Thankfully, all of the neighbors are relatively quiet and we all have nice patios to hang out on, still, there’s no talking. So weird..
That is kinda weird. Someone in my town had their house broken into (and lived in…and trashed) while they were away. They didn’t bother to tell the neighbours they’d be gone so no one reported anything unusual going on at the house. There’s a good reason to chat up your neighbours once in a while, I guess! Thanks, Mimi💕
Well, I am so excited to meet the Stompy McStompersons (sp?) on my second visit to your blog! I do love this post because I feel like I have visited your building without ever leaving my hometown and THAT is what makes YOU and amazing writer, my friend.
Thank you very much, Kari💕
Deb, as someone said above, you can’t choose your neighbours, and you certainly have some interesting ones. We are very fortunate at present to have nice neighbours on all three sides, but in the last three houses, there was always one not so nice neighbour. In our last house, our elderly neighbour called the police on us the first week after we moved there because our dogs apparently barked when we briefly left them in the fenced back yard to go pick up our appliances (they were not “barky” dogs). It wasn’t the best way to meet a next door neighbour. In the house before that, our next door neighbour was a fellow we dubbed “pig man” because he stood by his back door (just over our fence) all day long drinking beer and tossing the empties into giant barrels of beer cans. And grunting. thanks for the laughs.
Jude
You are most welcome, Jude 💕
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