A week from now I’ll be celebrating my 59th birthday. I plan on spending the actual day of at a luxurious spa with some fellow bloggers – 2 kindred spirits I have come to know and befriend. I can’t think of a better way to kick off another year.
A week from now I will be only 1 year away from officially starting my “third act”.
59 – that is also the official start of my 60th year of life. If I die after next week, the obit will read “…in her 60th year…”.
I’m doing a lot of reflecting lately – even more so than usual – and this is a short list of events that helped shape me during this last, past decade.
In my 50s, I (not always in chronological order):
- Became engaged (on my 49th birthday, so technically right at the start of my 50th year of life)
- Started blogging again, for realz this time (on September 3rd, 2009. The Blogger blog was called The Next Year of My Life. I wanted to capture all of my thoughts and plans leading up to my 2nd marriage)
- Got married again, at age 51, on September 3rd, 2010
- Became a widow, 3 years later, on November 14, 2013
- Found out in January 2014 that my late husband had cheated on me with another woman (for 18 months!) while we were living together
- Ran 4 more half-marathons (1st one was when I was 48)
- Went to the Netherlands 3 times
- Went to Barbados 3 times
- Had 2 mini-strokes and was diagnosed with high blood pressure
- Had laser eye surgery
- Straightened my teeth with Invisalign
- Lost my mother, my father-in-law, and my dog (all in the same year)
- Sold my house and moved into my late husband’s building
- Spent a year cleaning up the mess left behind by my late husband’s hoarding
- Completely repaired/renovated the building’s exterior doors, lights, roofs, plumbing, electrical, heating and cooling
- Completely renovated my new living space – new kitchen and bathrooms, floors, electrical, laundry, etc.
- Became a commercial landlord, to a museum!
- Completed a Master of Business Administration degree
- Was diagnosed with underactive thyroid (as if all of the above wasn’t enough to explain my tiredness 😉 )
- Became the Widow Badass
Wow. That sounds like a lot as I read it. But is it really? I wonder if we look back on any given decade, if we don’t find that an awful lot of life has happened to us, while we were busy making other plans (thanks, John Lennon).
What all will happen during my next decade? Will I get a next decade? What will be a result of my intentions, and what will be my reactions to things that happen to me that are out of my control? Hmmmm.
As per my painting, I am getting close to entering the final third of my life. So naturally I’ve been thinking a lot about life’s third act – MY life’s third act and how I want it to look. I intend the spend the next year working on some ideas for the final third, if I’m lucky enough to be here for it.
Jane has given me a lot to think about. I hope you take the time to watch the video below, and that you enjoy it.
What are some of your plans for your third act?
Do tell and rock on,
The WB
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We (almost) share the same birthday (mine is next week as well). Although I have to say, your birthday plans are rocking while mine…not so much. A tad jealous 8>)
Happy almost birthday to you, AJ!
You still have time to book that spa appointment…just sayin’
YOU are a badass. you ARE a badass. you are A badass. you are a BADASS. Love love love this post. Jane is a badass too. Wish we lived closer. Would so love to be friends IRL. Ps I am also a badass. 🙂
Hell yeah, you are also a badass, Susan! Thank you – saw what you did there! 🙂
We’re not so far away that we couldn’t one day meet IRL, I think. When I get to road-tripping’! Wouldn’t that be fun?
You’ve packed a lot of hardship into one decade … but a lot of really awesome stuff resulted too. Love your finished Precious Life. It’s appropriate that it’s done as you enter your 3rd act.
Looking forward to hearing all about your future plans 🙂
Thanks Joanne! And thanks for giving me the title of the painting! I took it from something you wrote me.
Thrilled to have somehow inspired you!
As I look at your painting again, I like it more and more. I hope you are going to put it someplace significant!
Thanks Joanne. I feel the same way about it. It’s the best thing I’ve done so far, I think. I was thinking of hanging it in the bathroom so I could not miss seeing it every day. Not sure how significant of place that is, tho….hehehe!
Happy almost birthday! Don’t kid yourself, your last decade really was filled with lots of tests, challenges and triumphs. You covered a lot more than many people do in two or three decades. And you really are a badass to have come through so strong and centered.
Love what Jane said about the staircase to our spirit. I need to come back and watch the video again. I need a kick in the butt.
Thank you Jean! Yeah, sometimes it really does seem like a lot. At times I felt like I was one of those swords you see being heated and hammered, heated and hammered…
But, that’s why I love the NOW so much I guess, so it was truly worth it. I know I’ll be rewatching that video again and again!
Wow – what a decade! You really are a Widow Badass! For me, I’m trying to lay the ground work for my 3rd act as I feel like I have a few more years left in my second act — with my youngest just 16. I’ll keep you posted.
Thanks Janet! Hmmmm, there’s nothing like raising teenagers to fine-tune your own inner Badass. Kudos to you! Keep fighting the good fight. Looking forward to being kept posted!
I almost two years older than you as I will turn 61 in August. You have had a wonderful decade and I love how you will be spending your last birthday in your 50s. All I can say is there is still so much to come and I embraced being 60 with open arms. I’m not sure how I will go but in two weeks I will be running my second full marathon. My first was two weeks before my 55th birthday and this one will be two weeks before my 61st birthday. I love the term ‘Third Act’. I hope you have a fabulous birthday and continue being the Widow Badass that you are! xxx
Thank you Sue! Wow – a full marathon – your second!!! You are an amazing woman who truly sizzles!!! I can’t wait to read about your race experience. Cheers to you, Sue. Sizzle on! 🙂
Well I have to finish it first but I’m giving it a go! 🙂
Wow, there is a lot to chew on in this post, Deb. You question whether that list was really a lot and I have to say “YES”. You are an awesome Widow Badass to have not only survived but excelled through all of that. I hope your third act is overwhelmingly kind to you in equal measure after the overwhelmingly arduous last decade. Happy Early Birthday Deb! Your birthday plans sound spectacular and I hope you emerge the other side of that celebration refreshed, enlightened and ready to take on the third act with gusto.
I am still three years from 60….well a tiny bit over two years from celebrating my 59th birthday. I have ideas of what I would like to do to celebrate it if/when it comes around (November of 20, 2020). There are too many ideas for said celebration whirling around in my head to go into detail here but I have some time yet to firm up plans.
Thank you Susan! Yep, you have some time yet to firm up plans and I applaud you for already starting to think of them. Life is full enough of hardship – we should never pass up an opportunity to note and celebrate milestones.
Congratulations on all you have accomplished and overcome in Act II. All the milestone birthdays have affected me differently. When I turned 30, I thought – oh crap, now I have to grow up. At 40 I had just started a new career after finishing my Master’s degree. At 50 I had an all women’s party/celebration in which my husband dressed up as a woman so he could attend. 60 terrified me, even though I knew it was just a number, I was overweight, had knee issues and was inheriting my family’s arthritis. So in my 59th year, I went to weight watchers and when I got close to my goal weight, I got my first round of knee injections and that’s when I started hiking. By the time I turned 60, I felt better than I had in years. This decade has been so fun – especially after retirement. So enjoy the last year of Act II and don’t be afraid of the 3rd act, somehow I think you will Badass your way through it just fine. 🙂
Thank you Karen, and congratulations to you too! You are inspiring in how you prepared to enter your own third act brilliantly!
I’ve still got a few years left til 60. It’s funny how I always used to think that 60 was old – now it seems just like 50 and that we’ll all be rocking along having a great time and wondering when we’re going to start getting old. My mum is 76 and is living large (complete with much younger lover!) If I’m doing half as well as her in my 70’s then I figure my 60’s should be pretty fabulous. Your birthday celebrations sound perfect – and many happies for the day xx
Thanks Leanne! You’re right. 60 doesn’t seem much different than 50 now that I am approaching it. Rocking along, indeed!
Maybe the third act is entirely extemporaneous, all impromptu and with no script to follow. There are no parents or bosses to order us around and tell us how to live. Because we have to find our own way through the act, there’s no telling what we’ll end up doing.
Sounds heavenly to me, TG. Thanks!
Hi Deb! Happy Early Birthday. And if you’re anything like me you start celebrating early and let it go on and on and on. Why not? And I also appreciate the “gift” you are giving yourself with all your self reflection. Sure some of those things on your list were tough, but if anything they prove that you are a ‘badass” and can make it through really tough things. And like I always tell myself, nothing is a mistake if we learned from it and I’ll bet you are the same. And as someone on the otherside of 60 now…you have nothing to fear and EVERYTHING to benefit. Meanwhile, enjoy your now. ~Kathy
Thanks Kathy! I am like you apparently, because I plan to draw out my birthday celebs for as long as I can 😜. Thank you for the wise words!
Thank you so much for sharing your last decade with us. I learned a lot about you. I love your attitude toward aging and appreciated reading the transcript of Jane Fonda’s talk. The third act sounds like the business. I’m still in the middle of my second act and feel like I’m growing more into myself and less into what other people want from me.
Rock on, Deb. And enjoy your birthday next week!
Thank you Akilah! What you’re going through in your second act sounds about right – that’s when it started happening for me too. The 3rd act sounds like the business to me too. I hope I get to fill in a lot of the dots on the painting!!!
Happy Birthday! I’m in awe of all that has happened to you in the last decade, yet appreciate that because of those experiences you’ve become who you are now. And I like the Widow Badass. I watched the Jane Fonda talk and I am enthused by her idea that you have control over 2/3 of your future success/contentment. Maybe your third act be your best one. Make it so!
Thank you Ally! I’m going to do my very best to enjoy my 3rd act.
I loved this post, Deb. Everything about it – other than your particular details of course – resonated with me. In fact so much so that even though I’d seen the Jane Fonda video before and didn’t think much of it, in the context of your post and the point we are both at in our lives, the Fonda video was inspiring and super helpful. Weird, huh?
Like Joanne, I can’t wait to hear your future plans.
Oh and I love your Precious Life art.
Thanks Karen! Glad it resonated with you, also the Jane Fonda video. You were in the proper headspace this time. When the student is ready, the teacher appears – said somebody a whole lot smarter than me, once. 🙂
This little painting is the best thing I’ve done so far.
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This post really resonated with me. You’ve experienced a lot of loss but accomplished much to be proud of in this decade. I’m also going on 59 soon and training for my 5th half marathon (is this a middle aged woman thing!?) I was inspired by Fonda’s TED Talk too. Thanks for putting yourself out there!
Thanks Tracey! I don’t know if it’s a middle aged woman thing but those races are a lot of fun! Good for you!!!
Deb
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It’s been such a pleasure getting to know you over the past couple of years. I feel like I’m vicariously living through your journeys.
That Ted Talk was spot on. The end though? About when females hit puberty? That holds so much truth.
Here’s to the third act!
Thank you very much, Kari 💕 Yes, here’s to the 3rd (and turning out for me to be the best) act!
Dear Widow Badass, my late husband was a bit of a hoarder – the stuff everywhere bothered me way more than the dern whiskey. Needless to say, the clutter is long gone – perhaps some of the stuff was worth some money – didn’t know and didn’t care, got rid of it, asap. White space is priceless 🙂
Amen, Sue! Getting rid of all of that junk was very therapeutic for me too. Thank you 💕
While I knew some of this I certainly didn’t realize what one decade had put you through. Wow — those dots are precious things and you’ve come to earn them with flying colours you BADASS you!
Thank you very much, Bernie 💕
Nice one. Also the video was rather interesting to say the least. It reminded me of the old folk when I was young who got more into telling tales of their life the older they became. We learn more “social” History and stuff from them than any textbook, but like she says, they also had wisdom to pass on.
Happy Third Act to you Golden Girl. I’m only about 6 months behind you, and getting younger every day. 🤭
“Getting younger every day” – I love this! Thank you 💕