Yesterday I went on an epic, sentimental condiment-al journey deep into the recesses of my fridge. At the end of it, I realized one very startling fact. My goddess, I have a crap-load of condiments. Here’s a sampling of what I found in my fridge:
- Not one, not two, but three jars of almond butter? What the hell was I thinking? That I needed almond butter, obviously. And a bigger hard-drive for my memory…sigh.
- Sambal Badjak that expired in 2004. (That I bought the last time my cousin Peter visited me, at a little shop in the Byward Market, in Ottawa. (Obviously hanging onto this one for sentimental, not condiment-al value – that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.) How this missed previous fridge purges, I can’t explain but really…I have cleaned my fridge a time or two since 2005, OK?
- Red pepper jelly, 2 kinds of apple butter (regular and…drool…caramel), designer vodka-infused mustard, one lonely roasted red pepper floating in its jar, pesto…all things so tasty but that I (almost) never remember to eat or cook with.
- Expired salad dressings – some bottles, mostly packets from fast-food joints. I always find these every time I clean out the fridge. I think elves sneak them in there, when we’re out. Yep, for sure it’s elves.
- Flaxseed oil that expired in 2009. Probably didn’t want to throw it out despite the expiration because it was expensive. (Like that makes any sense at all, I know!!) Is this how hoarders get started?!?!
- Humungous pimento-stuffed olives, from my
martini drinkingdrinking days (prior to 2003!). Note to self: still look good, must remember to use up on pizza…
In my defense, they were almost all on the topmost shelf. You know, the one that you have to bend down to truly see the contents of. And, no doubt you’ll be relieved to know that most of the condiment jars did end up dumped and rinsed, and in my Blue Box for recycling.
So now I have a sparkling, mostly empty fridge – ready to be filled up with healthy goodies. And no big bottles of salad dressing!!! I think I’ll make my own from scratch from now on, just to prove that the elves are at work here.
New Topic – beautiful, bizarre bike:
Can’t really think of a good segue to these photos, except to say that perhaps elves were at work here too?
Anyhoo, I leave you with a shot of this awesome bike fiets we saw in Amsterdam during our May trip. Say it: “feets” (bonus Dutch lesson in this post, again no phlegm required!). We saw a lot of bikes decorated with plastic or silk greenery/flowers, but this one was OVER THE TOP:
Hahahaha, I think it runs in the family… Same here and my mom has the same thing. When Ton and I go through the fridge, we see things I have never seen before!!!! LOL
Expired 1 million years ago and ready to trow in the bin. Please do not even mention the cupboards…
My mom is even worse, and I told her a thousand times “Mom please throw things out” she replies, “well it smells good” (then taste it) “it tastes good, so why trow it away?” “Mom, it has expired about 3 years ago” ARGHHHHH. I know expiration dates are put there because of law, and most of the things are so loaded with preservatives you can eat is till the next millennium, but I would like to think these dates are there for a reason….
Do not be afraid, when ever people are eating here, I look at dates first before putting things on the table. I will not be one of those people when visitors might look on the package, just to see what is in them, to be alerted that the dates have been expired…. Major f*****up…..
My sister in law is the other way around, she trows things out even before they expire. Is afraid of every germ around, you can say she’s phobic.
A recipe for great salad dressing.
Mix some yogurt, honey, a tiny bit of salt, some pepper, olive oil and some Italian herbs together. Yummy.
Mix some olive oil, vinegar, tiny amount of sugar or sweetner, salt, pepper, honey and some herbs together… Also very yummy. Instead of normal vinegar, use Balsamic vinegar…. Hmmmmmmmmmmm…..
Talking about food is making me hungry, tonight it’s going to be free range chicken with salad and fried potatoes…. My stomach is making sounds as I write… Hmmmmmmmm
Hey Helen!
You’re making my stomach growl too!!!
Good to know fridge hoarding runs in the family, and thanks for the great salad dressing recipes!!!!
This made me ‘lol’, no ‘LOL’.
Reminds me of my fridge, except my condiments don’t get to expire, usually.
It’s like the UN of condimnts in there… few continents are unrepresented.
Olives never go bad with me around…. and I’m a sucker for any kind of ‘nice’ mustard. I always have an unopened back-up jar of Grey Poupon in the cupboard (I don’t use mayo anymore, since discovering THE poupon is better). 8-10 kinds of hot sauces, 6 kinds of BBQ sauces, pickled Egyptian lemons, Golden Greek Peppers, Lebanese preserved Hot Green peppers, capers, 3 kinds of pesto, tubes of squeeze-a-herb, lemon & lime juice…… and always a container of coconut milk. Usually 5-7 types liquor-as it makes terrific glazes & marinades.
I probably shouldn’t mention 20 pounds of 5 different kinds of raw nuts in the freezer.
Usually the stuff you can do to food far outweighs the actual food… but I’m ok with that. 🙂
Sauce On!!!
UN of condiments indeed, my friend!
You know, I love Dijon mustard but have never tried THE DIJON: Grey Poupon. Will have to pick some up because…I have room in the fridge now….teehee!!!!!
I’ve heard of those lemons before – what do you use them in?